Well, it’s official. I have a problem with words. Not actually speaking them…rather I tend to use the more colorful ones a lot more than I thought.
Subconsciously – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it – I never really knew just how much I cuss when I get worked up.
And, I’ve come to realize, I have offended certain people with my filthy words. While I don’t actually intend to hurt anyone’s sensitivities, apparently I’m a pro at it, nonetheless.
Is there anyone out there who knows a good method of keeping the cussing down to a bare fucking minimum?? Seriously, because this shit seems to be pissing off a lot of assholes!!
That last sentence really only applies to the arsetards who email me to tell me that I “cuss too much” in my posts.
Hmmm…I never really thought it was that fucking noticeable. I suppose I really should explain my language to those nice folks, right?
So here’s how I see it…
The whole time I was growing up, I tended to be very introverted. Actually, I think ‘meek’ more suits the picture of me as a tadpole. Really, in a family with eight kids, it was hard being heard or even getting noticed for that matter.
Oh, I’d get noticed when it came time to be punished for something (or nothing…but that’s a story for another time). And again, with seven siblings I’d even get punished for things I didn’t do because I was too much of a wuss to deny that I had done what my sibs did, and then blamed me for.
Make no mistake, I was no angel when I was young…I had my share of childhood high crimes and misdemeanors. 
Basically, though, I was pretty quiet and tried to stay off the bad influence radar. And all those years of silence left an imprint on me that I eventually (through therapy – picture Diane Keaton in “The First Wives Club”) shed that skin of silence.
Boy, did I EVER?!?
Now you are hard pressed to shut me the hell up!!
Somewhere along the line, though, I not only learned to open up verbally, but my language seems to have taken on a much bluer hue than I would have dreamed it would. Don’t get me wrong, I know how to keep a civil tongue in all the right social settings. But get me riled up or liquored up (tee hee) and I suddenly become Mr. Fucking Tourette’s Syndrome.
This also occurs when I’m confronted with a minivan. Any minivan. Even one that is parked and empty.
Fucking piece of shit minivans!!!
Of course, I could just blame it all on that cable TV company…
youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCR7WZkXVMA
