In lieu of the post I was going to submit this evening, I felt the need to unbottle the following rant…which has been eating at me all day.
See, I have this relative of sorts (through my illegal and unrecognized “marriage”) who is, to put it mildly, a fucking moron. It’s well known through the grapevine (that I lovingly tend to in my garden of gossip) that this person is what some would call immature and a tad narcissistic. He’s married, but spends more time playing video games (typical) and fantasy sports than actually socializing with those with a full and real cranium.
This person – I’ll call him Mr. Smee – also appears to spend buttloads of time playing on MySpace. Nothing wrong with that, really…
…however…
In his voyages and adventures on MySpace, Mr. Smee fills out a lot of those assinine surveys that are continually batted around. And this is where Smee tends to shiver my timbers.
See if you can spot the part that really chaps my ass:
“ 30. Favorite color?
49er Red.31. Would you like to be a pirate?
GO BACK TO TREASURE ISLAND……..FAG!32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I’m too sexy……”
Isn’t he just absolutely fucking FABULOUS????? Why, I swear, he can just sweet-talk a body into a perfect swoon!!!
Normally, I tend to chalk up such hateful words coming out of an idiots’ mouth as pathetic cries for attention…or that person is just a latent “MO“. This, however, hits way too close to home, so to speak, and that makes it all the more insulting and hurtful. Especially because this is not an isolated incident. Not by a long shot. He’s used that word, and others as equally offensive, at least three other times in just the few atricles/posts/surveys of his that I’ve read.
While Steve is a far more level-headed and forgiving person than I, even he is hurt by this latest use of the word “49er“.
I’m kidding, of course. But I needed to laugh and that last line helped.
My whole issue with this, of course, is the use of that word, even when meant as a joke. It is the same as if you walked into a room and yelled out the “N”-word. Of course, you wouldn’t do that, for fear of getting your ass beat down…and rightly so. But using the “F”-word is perfectly fine, because you think (deep down, admit it) that gays who would be offended are harmless limp-wristed lithperth who are too weak to stand up for themselves. And this is where you are wrong.
I don’t need to beat you down with my beaded purse…I use words (as a first response).
Knowing, as I do, that this topic has been discussed by gay bloggers gay-zillions of times before, I had briefly thought about just leaving this alone.
Underline “briefly”. Twice.
As I said, I am not nearly as forgiving as Steve. I want revenge. I want to sail the Jolly Roger’s & Hammerstein all the way over to his house and kick him square in the booty and then stuff his ass into Davey Jones’ (the singer, of course) gym locker!!
Naturally, I’m not a physically violent person, but in my mind I’m swabbing the deck with his narrow ass.
I mean really, he’s not only insulting us, but he’s also insulting pirates as a hole whole. And that is simply bad form!!
So watch out, Mr. Smee…because this time you ain’t dealing with Tinkerbell or Peter Pan. No sir-ree. This time you’ve messed with Captain Jack Thparrow (I do love an outfit with epaulettes). You’re heading straight forward to a good old-fashioned keel-hauling!!
Honestly, is it really too much to ask that, when you’re filling out yet another inane survey, you refrain from calling a question “gay” or the idiot who asked the question a “fag”?? Because when you do that, it makes your writing sound like such a (name redacted)!!
