So yeah, I’m pretty much done with L&R

Okay, done with may be too strong a term. But it got you this far, didn’t it? We’ll call it a hiatus then. It’s nearly summer…Okay, I wish it was.

And I know what some might say…meh, who cares, silly Mary got his BVDs in a bunch did he? Yeah? Well, that’s why this is in my blog, and not some GBCW post in the middle of Relationships (which if I was Dr Nick, I would subsequently delete myself.)

Note:  L&R is one of many forums on MySpace that I  delve into.

Sidebar: GBCW, for those unfamiliar with it, I became acquainted with during my regular association with DailyKos (long before it became a political household word and before Markos Moulitsas got trendy guest spots on Countdown with Keith Olbermann and Real Time with Bill Maher).
Periodically someone would pitch a fit over mistreatment, misstatements, misanthropy, whatever, and write a Good Bye Cruel World (GBCW) diary.
I know, as if…lol. Sometimes they were noteworthy contributors, but mostly not. Mostly people who wanted a loud crash bang as they slammed the proverbial door. And lacking clues on the complete dramatic exit, often they came back. I know, the very sad “Heathers”-ness of it all.

No, this is my little blog, and my place to throw a little meta-fit of my own design and desires.

I had no business going into L&R today. Mondays are always horridly busy in my office, today that was busy on steroids. I think I just wanted a distraction, and if anyone keeps score you can tell I didn’t get in to the forum until well after lunchtime. So I really should have just hit a group (and yes group leaders and friends, I am horridly neglectful but it’s not that I don’t like the groups, really. I just preferred (well until today) the real time responses of the forum. Plus, if I don’t have anything to add to a topic, I’m not going to clutter it with….clutter I guess.) or gone to MyDD since I hear they are more Hillary friendly than DailyKos. Hell, Obama himself is more friendly to Hillary than DailyKos. But I digress as I do now and again. And no, I don’t want to politically debate Clinton v Obama v McCain v Ron Paul v RuPaul, or anyone else. My reasons are my reasons, politics-wise. If I wanted to debate politics I’d get on DailyKos more often. Or I should say a blog that has actual debate.

Now what I should do and what I actually do, like most people, sometimes has a gap of logic, but hey, I have admit to my humanity now and again.
And what did I find but another bigot-baiting diary, “What’s wrong with being gay?” Yeah, I ought to know better. Again, the human thing. And yes, I hear ya, I could just skip them. Have I told you, my straight brethren, how sweet you are sometimes? LOL…Actually, sometimes, I do skip them,
but it is a subject about my people, tribe, subgroup, tea dance attendees, whatever. This one I didn’t skip. And typically, it had it’s requisite bigot drippings all over it.

Of course, the evangelical zealots were there in force. And it may be in poor taste, but seeing how they care so little for taste themselves, those zealots can collectively screw themselves, or screw each other, which I know more than just me thinks is the root of a lot of their anger. The simple need for a good reaming. And the usual malignancies of pedophilia and other oddities were dragged out like the decayed, dessicated pieces of shit they are.

One poster, some idiot identified by a reg as from General, “Scott” and another “John Tevis” or “Trevis” or whatever…(you know the idiot who posted a thread asking when gas prices would come down? ) were particularly insipid and dredging up the usual crapfest of misinformation
and Old Testament screeching of eternal pain and punishment. That should tell you right there the sinking level of discourse. Oh, and how could I leave out Trip the Retarded Monkey or whatever he’s going by this week. My apologies for insulting retarded monkeys. And I know my last statement to him was cruel. In retrospect, I wish I had been VERY VERY cruel.

Not that logic and reason and good sense were absent. several regs (and you know who you are, and you know my deep and abiding respect for each of you) were there, valiantly lighting the torches to keep rampant, bullheaded ignorance from taking the day. I don’t know who won, if anyone ever wins in those things. I had to leave work, and between the intense stress of my workday and my brief tour in that thread, I thought my head would split if I put out one more thought. The Goddess bless the creator of ibuprofen.

So yeah, I should have skipped it. But while I don’t drive around my town blaring Madonna from the speakers of my car which does not have swirling rainbow flags all over (I said it DOESN’T…lol), shouting gay power slogans and demanding I finally get my dream wedding with Matthew McConnaughey and/or Adrian Paul, I am proud of who I am, and that happens to be a gay man living in America today . (Yes, I know they are both straight…do pop your fantasy bubble? LOL)

And at a certain point, despite the best of intentions of enlightened, intelligent, caring, educated people in the face of ugly stupidity, you get tired of seeing gay people, and by association, yourself, under a microscope while the debate rages over why you exist or even should you exist. I think most of you can understand. It makes you want to scream. Violent, rage filled screams. I am human, I have validity, I matter, I am different from you but in many ways the same. My existence does not hinge on your religion or your level of comfortability.

I have a few gay people (and I know some straight people too) on my page that are there because they read something I wrote in L&R. Not that I hold myself up as a spokesperson or gay champion. They responded to someone out as a gay man in a predominately heterosexual forum. And it may not have been particularly fraught with meaning, half the time I enjoy being a smart ass the same as many of you. But I have my moments, again, as many of you do. And do I wish those gay people posted more often? Sure. Do I understand why they don’t?
Completely. Gay (and yes, transgender as well) is used to titillate, shock, and deride. This is 2008, and you would think America had grown up more. It hasn’t.

Well, there it is, my Monday night as a rant. Again, though, it’s in my blog. It may be called self pity and rage against complexities that will probably still exist for years to come. But sometimes you have to say what you have to say and let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes you have to scream and not worry about how uncomfortable someone may get or worry whether they’ll end up feeling more sorry for you than understanding you.

I like the forum. Yes, it’s got silly meaningless drivel and ridiculous posts but it also has well intentioned advice and I have seen genuine caring,
all the things you would expect when people interact. But for now, I’ve seen enough of gays as science projects or horrid, feared monstrosities.
I’ve seen enough debate of my right to be happy. Or simply my right to be.

Yeah, I’ll get over it I’m sure. I’ll let you know when.

Planning The Next Move

Nothing would give me more pleasure than to rant and rave over all the political “bloodletting” in recent days and weeks.

I, however, like so many others – especially in the Democratic party – am just plain sick of it all. I say let Hillary and Barack duke it out, let the delegate cards fall where they may, and let’s pick a fucking candidate. If we lose the Whitehouse this time, it will be because we’ve become assinine children fighting over who’s going to be king of half of the playground.

No.

No politics for me today.

I’m stuck here at home…sick. Friggin’ pre-Spring cold/allergies are kicking my punk ass. (okay, so I’m a little cranky)

If nothing else, it gives me some time to work on planning my next move. I mean literal move. See, now that things here have changed, it’s time to take the next logical step…starting life anew…elsewhere.

It isn’t as though Steve is kicking me out or anything. We’re both pretty invested in this house. And it’s not like War of the Roses or any of that shit. We don’t fight and argue and turn our pets into pâté. In truth, we get along pretty damn well, considering the circumstances.

But common sense tells me that we can’t start new lives while still living together. So I decided it would be easier on us if I move out. Sign over to him my interest in the house and that’s that. I really hate the idea of starting over, but then so many other people my age have had to go through starting a life over from scratch with little to nothing, and they survived. Hey, if they can do it, so can I.

Besides, like I always tell Seth, “Life should never be about the destination…it’s the journey that makes it a life.”

I never claimed to be Walt Whitman.

So now I’ve started analyzing all of my options, considering all variables and doing all of the financial math.

Loan options versus amazing yard sale.

I’m gay…I should be able to come up with a fabulous “gayme” plan, right?

Do I really want to go back to apartment-dwelling?

PRO’S: You can find something relatively cheap and possibly save some $$$ for an eventual move to something bigger, better and geographically more appealing.

CON’S: I always felt like I was in a multi-level bird house. There’s rarely good (if any) parking. Sure, you can get something cheap, but you get what you pay for. All the rent you pay goes to nothing. You are restricted in decorating/painting. Pets are really cooped up. Space is so limited and there’s no gardening options. I fucking HATE the idea of apartments!!!!

I could rent/lease a house.

PRO’S: I really love the idea of being able to continue gardening. Depending on the owner, they might allow some creative leeway with decorating. After all, who doesn’t like the idea of gays moving into a house and improving it’s value?? Am I right?? Anyone??

CON’S: What happens when the owners decide to put the house up for sale? Or worse, kick us out because their “newly-divorced brother/sister is needing a new place to live”?? I’ve seen that shit happen many times and all you get out of all the hard work you put into making the place visually dazzling is a letter saying “Thanks, Now Get Out”.

There’s the option of buying a house.

PRO’S: At least there you have more say so in what you can do. This I know because of all the wonderful improvements Steve and I put into this house. Sure, you’re under a mortgage for the next 15 to 30 years, but hey…there’s always the Powerball. Also, while I’ve still not won the war against the moles and rabbits when it comes to creating the perfect lawn and gardens, I have – in a screwball way – enjoyed the fight.

Then there’s the option I wouldn’t go for, period. Given the choice between this option and a boil implant…I’d take the implant.

Moving in with someone like a relative or friends.

PRO’S: There really are none. Though your friends/family will insist it’s no inconvenience to them, even they know better.

CON’S: While your host(s) are doing you an enormous favor by allowing you to take up a portion of their precious space, you will, invariably, take up too much space. I could take up the many offers like this that I’ve already received, but this is a really good way to lose friends or piss off family members. Think about it…I move in “for as long as you need”…then there’s all that awkward “do I make some coffee or will it wake them up. Naw, I’ll just sit here and stare at the stuff pinned by magnets to their fridge.” Toes will be stepped on. Nerves will be frayed. Privacy will be interrupted. While I love all of you guys and gals for the offers…I’d rather live under a bridge than piss you off and alienate you.

And don’t you dare think I’m not considering Steve’s feelings in all of this!!!  I’ve been told that, and I resent it.  I care very much for him and always will.  I want him to be happy and well.  Bottom line here is that we’re both grown up’s and regardless of the personalities, there is no reason for either of us to just piss the rest of our lives away in misery and bitterness.  We’re bigger than that and we still love each other enough to want the best for each other.

So we’ll be fine.  We’ll be friends and we’ll be better for the experience.

Now…back to the next move…

Does anyone out there have any ideas or contradictions to my “Pro’s & Con’s”?

Ooooo…an ad for a boathouse….NEAT!!

It All Gives Me Gas

Motorists may fume when forking over $3 a gallon at the local service station, but as it turns out, your local filling spot makes chump change (about 3 cents) from a gallon of gas.

So exactly who is getting rich?

Oil traders: While often blamed for pushing up prices, traders don’t necessarily benefit from the high price of crude or gasoline; they profit from how much the price changes. Traders can get rich – as long as they bet correctly on whether prices will rise or fall.

For example, an investment bank that makes a bet that the price of oil will rise makes money when oil prices go from $95 to $100 a barrel – or $100 to $95 if it bet the price will fall – not on the difference between production cost and trading price.

“If you wanna keep your job, you gotta be more right than wrong,” said John Kilduff, an energy analyst at the trading firm MF Global in New York, explaining how traders make their money.

Gas stations: A surprisingly small amount goes to the guy who runs the station.

Most service stations are independently owned and operated and take in between 7 and 10 cents for every gallon they sell, according to the U.S. Energy Information Administration.

That 7 to 10 cents going to the gas station isn’t even profit. Out of that, station owners still have to pay leases, workers, and other expenses – leaving them with a profit of just a few cents. For the service stations, most profit comes from selling coffee, cigarettes, food and other amenities.

These calculations are based off of EIA’s most recent numbers, when gas was $3.04 a gallon. Gasoline hit another record nationwide average of $3.27 a gallon Thursday.

Taxes: The government takes about 40 cents right off the top, with about 18 cents going to the feds. State taxes vary widely, but the national average is about 22 cents a gallon. Most of this money is used to build and maintain roads.

Transportation: Getting the gas from refineries to service stations via trucks or pipelines – and the cost of storing it in large tanks – eats up another 23 to 26 cents per gallon.

Refining: About 24 cents a gallon goes to refining companies like Valero (VLO, Fortune 500), Sunoco (SUN, Fortune 500) or Frontier (FTO, Fortune 500) that specialize in turning crude oil into gas. Some companies like ExxonMobil (XOM, Fortune 500), Chevron (CVX, Fortune 500) and ConocoPhillips (COP, Fortune 500) also have refining operations.

Profits for refiners have been squeezed lately because the price they pay for oil has risen so much faster than the price they can sell the gas for. This helps explain why Big Oil companies -like Exxon, which actually buys more crude oil than it produces – haven’t seen their profits rise as much as the price of oil.

Crude oil: This is the most expensive part of a gallon of gas. Of every gallon of gas $2.07 from every gallon of gas goes to producers of crude like Chevron (CVX, Fortune 500), BP (BP), and smaller outfits like Anadarko (APC, Fortune 500) and Marathon (MRO, Fortune 500), or national oil companies controlled by countries like Saudi Arabia, Mexico or Venezuela.

Crude currently trades around $110 a barrel, but breaking down the money in that barrel of oil is tough. Exploration and production costs, royalty payments – all a big part of $110 a barrel oil – vary widely country by country and project by project.

“It’s difficult to generalize; there’s a whole spectrum of costs,” said Ron Planting, an economist with the American Petroleum Institute, an industry trade group.

They can range from $1 a barrel to produce crude in Saudi Arabia to over $70 a barrel to find, develop and pump oil in the deep water Gulf of Mexico or off the coast of Algeria, said Ann-Louise Hittle, an oil analyst with the energy consultants Wood Mackenzie.

EIA estimates it costs U.S. oil companies an average of about $24 a barrel to find, develop and produce oil worldwide, but that doesn’t include costs like transportation, administration, or income taxes – which can be substantial. While Exxon made $40 billion in 2007, a 60% increase from 2004, it paid $100 billion in taxes and royalties.

Nonetheless, $40 billion – or any of the record profits seen by most oil companies over the last few years – is certainly a lot of money, and it has put Big Oil in lawmaker’s cross hairs.

Rep. Edward Markey, D-Mass., has called the chief executives of the five biggest oil companies to testify on the industry’s record profits on April 1st. Markey’s office swears it’s no April fool’s joke.

Things About Me Most Don’t Know

Without the help from Daniel, I’ve decided to put myself on the line and embarass myself. It’s been a while since I’ve wrote anything about myself, actually since I started writing on here. So, here are some things about me hardly anyone knows. Enjoy!

1. I have a slight fear of pooping in public bathrooms.
2. After blowing my nose, I check my snot for abnormalities and blood. How cool is that!
3. I have a very delicate sense of touch.
4. I love to cook with someone.
5. I sometimes forget to clean the crap out of the corners of my eyes.
6. I, regrettably, voted for our current president.
7. One of my greatest fears is someone cheating on me or lying to me.
8. I have next to no sense of smell.
9. My brother and I used to pretend we were mermaids when we were little.
10. My brothers and I would torture my ex just to make her cry. She was a spoiled baby and deserved it.
11. I’m attracted to someone who’s older than me.
12. My biggest pet peeve is illogical, narrow-minded people.
13. I have poor self esteem. 
14. After 3 good hits, I would hit a woman back.
15. I know how to admit when I’m wrong and not walk away with my tail tucked between my legs.
16. Other than my nephews, I don’t really like kids.
17. I really miss my old job and people I worked with at the news station.
18. I’m a very paranoid person.
19. I’m very empathetic and sympathetic.
20. I need a lot of reassurance about everything.
21. I am a big fan of Celine Dion.
22. I get bored easily.

 POOF! That is some of me!

The End

Love,
Seth

Thank You MSNBC For The Stinky A-Listers!

Yeah, I found this on MSNBC and decided to share it. It’s funny enough to post, but not funny enough to write myself. So, just to put the usual disclaimer on it, I didn’t write this and I don’t claim it in any way. I just copied and pasted it. So, read on and enjoy!

-Seth

By Ree Hines
MSNBC contributor

Colin Farrell

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

What is it about otherwise handsome A-listers who endeavor to look smelly? It’s as though the effort it takes to look good on film is such a burden, they just give up in their off time. Take Colin Farrell. The greasy locks, the poorly groomed beard, the rumpled clothes — he sets the bar for stinky-chic awfully high. Colin’s infinite pack-a-day smoking habit — seriously, he’s always smoking a cigarette — only adds to the list of malodorous evidence. And it’s not like he’s always looked like a stink bomb. Just a few years back Colin sported the standard freshly showered look we all know and love, but it seems like the more successful he gets, the grimier he looks.

Matthew McConaughey

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

It’s not hard to build the stinky case for Matthew McConaughey. The unkempt hair and beach bum lifestyle hardly rank a mention when the man himself admits he eschews deodorant. He wouldn’t even break the ban when his “Fool’s Gold” co-star, Kate Hudson, complained about his body odor. “She always brings a salt rock, which is some natural deodorant, and says, ‘Would you please put this on?’” But her efforts were in vain. “I just never wore it. No cologne, no deodorant.” In fact, Matthew defends himself by insisting no other co-stars ever mentioned it. (Note to Matthew: Sometimes when you reek of B.O., people try to be nice by not telling you that you reek of B.O. This does not mean that you don’t reek of B.O. Just FYI.)

Johnny Depp

Getty Images

It must be hard being the most desirable man in the world. Maybe that’s why Johnny Depp hides behind cartoonishly awful ensembles, like his ill-fitting pants, the grungy fedoras and those plucked-fresh-from-the-dumpster shoes. I can’t tell you how many times my best gal pal and I have sighed at the sight of Johnny only to add, “too bad he probably smells like cigarettes and dirty clothes.” We won’t ever get close enough to find out, but still! And not to belabor the cigarette thing, but Johnny smokes hand-rolled sticks exclusively. So all that foul gunk that normally ends up in a filter? It coats his hands and teeth instead.

Jared Leto

Gustavo Caballero / Getty Images

A virtual chameleon of the grubby vibe, Jared Leto’s not content to rock just one dirty look. Hipster grossout? Check. Unwashed hippy dude? Check. Icky emo? You know it! Jared even went through a dingy spray-on tan phase à la LiLo. On occasion, he cleans up his act, but that doesn’t discount the greater trend towards trashy. And it’s not just the perpetually stringy hair or days worth of eyeliner that gives the not-so-fresh tip off, it’s the whole unwashed package. Oh, well, it’s not like any of it is holding Jared back. Every twenty-something it-girl in Hollywood happily dates him regardless of what he smells like. 

Orlando Bloom

Scott Gries / Getty Images

What happened to fresh-faced Orlando Bloom circa 2003? Remember that clean-cut cutie at the “Lord of the Rings” premieres? Sigh. Seems like a greasy haired doppelganger took his place ages ago. Maybe after three “Pirates of the Caribbean” installments the poor hygiene pirate’s life actually took hold. Whatever it is, it’s not a good look for him. Orlando’s girlfriend reportedly thinks so, too. “He’ll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer.” And if that wasn’t specific enough, “Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks.” Ew!

And They Say It’s Not About Race

Whoever says this election isn’t about race is saddly mistaken! Ever since this election season started, and we knew who was running, everyone kept denying many votes would be based on race. I, on the other hand, have said since the begining that it will eventually be a major issue for some. Well, I was right.

Mississippi just had their primary election. Who did they overwhelmingly go for? Obama. He won 91% over Clintons 9%. Which is perfectly fine, if you’re basing your vote on issues. The same goes for Hillary voters. Don’t just vote for her because she’s a woman. CAST YOUR VOTE BASED ON THE ISSUES! CNN reports “…white Mississippi voters overwhelmingly backed the New York senator, supporting her over Obama, 72 percent to 21 percent.“…”The exit polls also indicated roughly 40 percent of Mississippi Democratic voters said race was an important factor in their vote, and 90 percent of those voters supported Obama.“

The color of your skin or the shit between your legs should not matter or determine who runs this country. Just because Obama is black doesn’t mean he knows what’s best for us. Also, just because Hillary is a woman doesn’t mean she’s going to be the perfect candidate. Who cares what you look like, what your sex is, what the color of your skin is, or any other physical quality. None of that should matter in ANY situation!

I understand completely why someone would disagree with me. African Americans want to vote for another African American because of the history. It’s a very outstanding and historical event to finally have an African American running for president. I’m excited about that!

Same goes for Hillary. Women have been striving for many years to be competitive with men and clearing the path for future women. It would prove a woman can be, and is, just as good as a man.

It’s just pretty damn sad this country can’t seem to get past discrimination and sexism. We’re still stuck in the 1950’s! We seem to take 5 steps forward and 20 steps backwards.

If you havn’t voted yet, base your vote on who you think is going to pull this country’s ass out of the fire the best. We’re in a heap of steamy shit because of the douche bag in office. Who do you think is going to do the best job in the long run and presently what this country needs? If you have voted yet, you’re waiting on the general election. My advice to you, no matter who the Democratic candidate is or what your party is, vote for who you believe is going to fix this poor excuse for a so-called diplomatic country.  

Fatty McFat Limbaugh Does It Again!

Rush Limbaugh is a fucking douche bag! He’s an ignorant, narrow minded, self absorbed, obtuse douche bag! I can go on with adjectives that describe the senseless bastard, but we all know what kind of person he is.

Since Tuesday’s Ohio and Texas primaries, the talk of the “dream ticket” has been buzzing around. More so than what it was a few months ago. Clinton and Obama or Obama and Clinton. Either way, they’re right. It would be a pretty damn good ticket.

Wednesday morning, on CBS’s morning show, Hillary stated, in reference to the joint ticket, “That may be where this is headed,” continued, “But of course we have to decide who is on the top of ticket…” Obama later called any speculation of teaming up with Clinton “premature.”

What was Limbaugh’s response? “Let’s say it is Obama and Hillary…Let’s put Hillary at the top — That’s a position she’s familiar with,” Limbaugh said on his radio show Thursday. “Therefore, you’ve got a woman and a black for the first time ever on the Democrat ticket. Ahem. They don’t have a prayer.”

Ya know, if Colon Powell or Alan Keyes were running with Condoleezza Rice or Ann Coulter, A.K.A. Coultergeist, he would be in open arms and loving every second of it! They could do no wrong and he wouldn’t prove to everyone that he’s a racist, sexist bigot.

It just pisses me off to know that people such as Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly can get away with the shit that they do.

It’s About Damn Time!

Finally! People are starting to talk about what the hell is going on! Clinton being bashed by the media and Obama being the media’s baby. Granted, Clinton is a big girl and she can handle her own, she is still in fact still in the race, but damn! Come on! She definatly proved herself last night with Texas, Ohio, and Rhode Island.

 It really shows good on the part of Americans too. People are actually starting to decide for themselves and not letting the media pick our candidates, like they’ve done in the past.

Also, people are starting to finally wonder why Obama’s not answering questions or why he’s copying her answers. This is something that Daniel, Steve, and I, and many others, have been saying for the past two months. He’s letting the media do all the talking for him. He knows he doesn’t have as strong of a campaign as she does, so he’s lying low for the time being. Kind of ironic because he’s a presidential candidate. The media is pretty damn fast to jump on the bandwagon, but takes their good ole time jumping off. Why? Probably because the media is, apparently, never wrong or nonbiased! They could never be flip-floppers! NAW!!!

If the tables were turned and Obama was my candidate, I would still be saying the same thing. It’s just common sense to know when someone is being attacked from all points and someone else is being carried. It’s as blatant as pre-op! In general sense, it’s just wrong. Then again, it is the media I’m speaking of here.

Ok, I feel better. I could bitch about a lot more, but I sound bitter about everything the way it is.