The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Archive for January, 2006

“Wait…Didn’t I disband you guys??”

Posted by Daniel on January 31, 2006

DumbFuck Morons


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State of the Union (SOTU)

Posted by Daniel on January 31, 2006

Last nights speech . Once again proving the depths of Bushs’ lack of brains. He actually let someone include one of the big selling points to his energy solution be switch grass. First of all, what the hell is switch grass? Is that the stuff he’s smoking that puts that stupid smirk on his face when he thinks he’s edumacating the country?

Meanwhile, Cindy Sheehan was being booked in a Washington jail for “Misdemeanor Unlawful Misconduct” after being arrested in her seat in the House gallery for wearing a t-shirt that said “2242 soldiers dead…How many more of our sons need to die?” She didn’t display the shirt, but rather had it covered by the dress coat she was wearing over it. Capital police handcuffer her even though she was making no speeches, no displays, but just sitting in her designated seat (after having been given the ticket to the event by a California Representative. Mrs. Sheehan was released from jail shortly after the SOTU was finished. Look to hear a lot more about this over all the news programs the next couple of days.

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I was called evil today…So I took a test.

Posted by Daniel on January 31, 2006

How evil are you?

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State Of Delusion

Posted by Daniel on January 31, 2006

Have you ever stared into a goldfish bowl or aquarium? First they swim right. Then they swim left. Sometimes a stray Angelfish will try to sort of come towards you, but the others are quick to set it back on the left or right path. Ellen Degeneres really had a good point about this in some of her early standup.

I really think that’s how the world has been seeing America lately. They know how boorish we’ve become, yet they just keep staring because they know something “fishy” will happen again, so they are compelled to continue staring. Occasionally it’s a tad boring and they nod off, but the fish just keep swimming back and forth. Nothing new ever happens. The occasional dangly-poop gives people a chance to make it interesting. “How long will it get before it falls off? And where will it land?”

Lately, our fish have been swimming so far to the right, they can only swim in circles. They have chosen a leader, of sorts. It’s always that one fish that has this really oddly stupid face and the most bland coloring. His fins look as if they’ve had a bite or two taken out of them. He leads in a way that makes us think he’s lost. Thinks that castle actually has a door he can swim through. Those who follow him do so with, shall we say, a hint of hesitation, because they know he’ll fuck up and swim right into the glass again. And you can’t make them do that again after the 1000th time. They still think they’re too smart for that. But those who are watching are saying, “Hey, you idiots chose that moron for your leader!”

Tonight, that stupid leader fish – I think it’s a blowfish – will try to “lead” the rest of the aquarium world on with the same moronic dangling line of poop. I’m so tired of the fish blindly swimming to the right. Oh well, soon it will be time to clean out the aquarium. I can’t wait to hear the toilet flush that day!!

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Fortinbras – Starring Stephen Howard as Hamlet

Posted by Daniel on January 30, 2006

Front row: Raymond Shinn (Horatio)-Tiffany Lee (Ophelia)-Doogin Brown (Fortinbras)
Ken LaTessa (Laertes)-Pam Haskin (Gertrude)-Mike Haskin (Claudius)

Back row: Roger May (Osric)-Stephen Howard (Hamlet)-Dennis T Frye (Polonius)

Joshua Solito (Captain)-Dean Kinsey (Barnardo)-Mandy Lagoski (Polish Maiden #2)
Joe Whalen (Marcellus)-Kat Dunham (Polish Maiden #1)

Well, Steve’s play (he was the STAR – Hamlet – …not the writer), “Fortinbras” has ended it’s three week run to raving reviews. I’ve read the critics’ reviews in all of the local newspapers and they all loved it. I’m always very proud of his work, as is his Director (Art Suskin) obviously, as Art tends to call upon Steve first for casting each time he directs a new play. I would say “Encore Sweety”, but I live with you, and I always get more…(hehe).

Posted in Just For Fun | 1 Comment »

Tell Someone Who Cares

Posted by Daniel on January 29, 2006

Sleep Numbers…add this to the list of things I could go a lifetime without hearing again. They’re discussed at parties, meetings, at the water cooler, etc. I can’t put a ‘number’ on how many times I’ve been introduced to someone where the intro goes something like, “Hi, Daniel. I’m Sharon and I’m a 50. That’s my husband, Randy, over there. He’s a 90.” I’ve overheard gossip where Shawn was being discussed (he’s a 50) but someone mistook him for an 80, whereupon the describer’s astuteness was pointed out because Shawn had, in fact, once been an 80, but is now down to a 50. To you people I have something to say…You’re making my Schoolhouse Rock flashbacks less enjoyable by the minute.

Please keep your numbers away from me. I say this to spare you an uncomfortable tirade that will make you miss emptying the bong-water from your old waterbeds. Don’t come up to me and introduce yourself, “Daniel, it’s nice to meet you. I’m James and I’m a 70.” I just want to know your name (maybe) and could care less how you sleep. Believe me when I say I can tell how good or bad you sleep just by looking at you. Oh, and if I’m feeling particularly frisky, I’ll tell you. That’s just me. All you’re really telling me is that you paid way too much for a mattress that only serves a useful purpose as a floatation device.

If there is an introduction pending and one of the ‘introducees’ happens to be me, spare me the cliché numbers. Instead, here’s an introduction I look forward to hearing…”Hi, I’m Vlad and I cured all cancers.” Or…”I’m Rodney…I found Jimmy Hoffa. And this is my wife, Natasha…who discovered the alternative fuel that is environmentally safe, costs nothing to produce and is free to the world.” Where are these people and why can’t I get invited to their parties?

I’ll tell you where they are, they’re standing in a little thing called reality. That’s a place where we don’t have the time or interest in mattress-discussions. They’re all standing in lines to get their PowerBall tickets. Or patiently stuck in traffic behind some woman lost and on her cell phone, “Brittney? It’s me, Pammie. Are you still a 60? I’m lost on I-70 near exit 12 wedged between 16-wheelers and I’m trying to find the nearest 9 West. I’m so tempted to dial 911. Oh, and my husband Tom and I – yes, he’s still a 60 – are looking forward to seeing you at our anniversary party. It’s our 25th, you know. By the way, I’ve lost another 2 dress-sizes, so now I’m a 40.”

These are not important things to me. But I am asked occasionally. And my answer usually goes something like, “My sleep number is 10:00 o’clock and my dreamy other halfs’ number is the occasional “9”.”

For those of you stuck in the rut of your sleep numbers, I have just 4 words for you…I’m not the 1.

Posted in Our Writings | 1 Comment »

Help me understand what is fair…

Posted by Daniel on January 29, 2006

Ray and I (that would be Scott) are another couple in the same situation that Steve and Daniel find themselves in. By very nature of our feelings and caring for each other tend to offend the multitudes.

It isn’t the right to marry that I care so much about but the right to be treated as equals when it comes to things we as people are offered. Example, I pay the same exact rate for my health insurance that everyone else in the company pays. However, they can get married as often as they want and elect to cover the other individual when it isn’t even an option for me. Does that really sound fair when my relationship is over 6 years old and some of theirs don’t even make it past the first year. It would be more fair if everyone had to wait 5 years before they could include them on a corporate policy, in which their usage and constant changes impact my rates as well.

I can go on and on about this but let’s save that for another day.

Posted in GLBT, Politics, Religion | Leave a Comment »

Revel and Tempest

Posted by Daniel on January 29, 2006

a/k/a Steve and Daniel

Now I ask you, are these the faces of people who are out to shred the very fiber of the universe by threatening what is laughingly referred to as the sanctity of marriage? Hardly. The only thing we’re a threat to is any plate of food at Buca di Beppo. Okay, and anything chocolate-covered. Steve is a regular blogger on The Daily Kos. You’ll find it at the link to the right, or click here: We’re pretty political, but not what I’d call “militant” about it…(however, I am practicing my goose-step as we speak).

Posted in GLBT | Leave a Comment »

In The Beginning…

Posted by Daniel on January 28, 2006

Welcome to the beginning of what I hope to be a long and fruitful rant. There are just so many things happening these days – political, religious, stupid people, etc. – and finding a place to begin is a daunting challenge.

But there are also good things happening all around us every day. I’ll try to hit on those as well.

For example…

Tax time. It’s that joyous time of the year, again, when we get to acknowledge our debt to our government. I love filing my taxes each year (said with sarcasm) because it always serves as a vivid reminder that I am a second-class citizen. Or so my government representatives would have me believe. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Uncle Sam really loves receiving every penny he can squeeze out of me. Mine is what is commonly referred to as “disposable income”. It’s been really nice to see just where my disposable income goes. Lately, it’s been into the hands of the greedy s.o.b’s in the employ of our President. But that’s a rant for another time.

My long-time partner and I are, shall we say, of the same sexual identity. We’re both men. By definition, this means we are considered sick, immoral and a threat to every marriage in existance. Thank the celestial muffin we have good folks like Bush and his lying pack of bigoted hypocritical religious cronies who are only more than too happy to stand up and tell you everything that’s wrong with the world…and why fruitcakes like me are to blame for it. Why, if we’re lucky, they’ll get that constitutional ammendment passed that should set the whole discussion to rest.

My question is this…
If I have to pay the same taxes as everyone else in this country for all the same things (including school districts), why can’t I enjoy all the other rights and privilages (both local, State and Federal) as everyone else does? Isn’t this taxation without representation??

I promise I don’t want to marry my cat or the rather sturdy and stable oak tree in my front yard.

Posted in GLBT, Our Writings | 2 Comments »