The Tempest Online™

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Exercising My Rights…

Posted by Daniel on March 13, 2006

Okay, I was asked by “you-know-who” in Melbourne if I’ve ever had the honor of serving on a jury. Being the true smart ass that I pride myself to be, I replied, “While I love to sit in judgement on a daily basis, I have, in fact been called for jury duty on three occassions.” I’ve never actually served on a jury, as the process of jury selection has so many fascets and, during the process, the jury pool is either whittled down and eventually chosen – I’ve never gotten that far – or excused altogether for one reason or another.As it happens, (and as I dished to Stewart), my better half, Stephen, was called for jury duty late last month. He, too, went through the orientation process and, suprise-suprise, even discovered he was there with our next-door neighbor – who will remain nameless (Hi Margie!!). So at least he was there with someone he knew. Ultimately though, the entire jury pool was excused from duty as both parties reached some sort of deal or plea. Lucky Steve…and Margie. (oops, I wasn’t supposed to say her name…again!!)(he-he)

The ironic thing is that right after he received his jury notice, I was yucking it up with my gal-pal Michelle (Hi Michelle…you’re still dull-dull-dull!!) and sarcastically saying, “Poor Steve”. Here’s where Steve’s constant reminders of my bad karma come in…Three days later, I received a notice for jury duty as well!! Shit!!

I absolutely loathe jury duty, for several reasons…Ask anyone, they hate it for the same reasons…

1) You only get a $12.00 per-day allowance (pay) for performing jury duty.
2) You have to drive – in my case – 20 miles into town, find a parking space, and pay for that parking space.
3) The long and tedious orientation.
4) Being quizzed by both Prosecution and Defense attorneys.
(don’t they know I’m still sitting in judgement??)
5) You could be there for just a few hours, or all day.
6) You could actually be chosen to serve on that jury…and the case could drone on and on.
7) If you try to use a work or health deferrment to avoid jury duty, you’ll be instantly put into another jury pool.
8) If chosen, the jury could be sequestered for the duration of a trial.
9) You can’t try to get out of jury duty by saying, “Hang the bitch!!” (trust me, I’ve tried)
10)You still have to drive 20 miles to get home…on $12.00 a day!!!Now, my date for jury duty hasn’t come up yet, so I still have some time to lose my eyesight and hearing. I just hope that, what with my sucky-karma, I don’t say or do anything that will, in turn, cause me to end up in the defense chair. I just have such a problem with social anxiety (I tend to go all ‘tourettet’s syndrome‘ when I feel peened up), and (lest we forget, Stewart) my itty-bitty problem with authority. (hey, I’ve never denied I have issues!!)I will, of course, report everything that happens that day. Or, depending on the mood my meds put me into, you can just look it up in your newspaper under the headline:

Jurist Freaks…Becomes Defendant


One Response to “Exercising My Rights…”

  1. Margie said

    Just as you were yucking it up over Stephen’s misfortune of being called to jury duty, John was also yucking it up over me being called to jury duty (and it WAS nice to see a friendly face there Stephen!).
    I do think it’s the Karma thing happening, because John then received notice of his jury duty sentence for the same week you received yours. That’s what you guys get for making fun of us. Too bad you’re both serving in different towns (John’s in Indep).
    How odd that as neighbors Stephen and I get called for the same week and then you and John get called for the same week also. Must be some underground plot at work….
    Now if only Karma would work when you want it to. I’d love to find someone who won a big lottery jackpot and make fun of them for having to deal with all that moolah.

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