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Archive for September, 2006

Caution: Gay Construction Ahead – Part 6 – Jan, Don’t Forget Your Shawl!

Posted by Daniel on September 30, 2006 thing about living in the midwest is that the seasons change faster than Cher’s eyebrows. (seriously, is it just me or does it look like they’re trying to crawl off her face??)

Here in our little corner of Missouri, it’s all rolling hills, lakes and, of course, trees. Everywhere. You can’t throw a rhinestone without hitting a tree. And right about now, you see those tell-tale signs of Fall creeping in by the sprays of yellow, red and brown. In less than a month, everything will look like it’s on fire.

As beautiful as this time starts out, there is something to counter the beauty…frost. We’ve already had several overnights that have dipped below 45 degrees fahrenheit. Ordinarily this never becomes a second thought to me, however I have new babies to think about starting this year.

As many of you know, we’ve added a greenhouse this year, mostly because our two-car garage can’t hold all of the plants over the winter. Not that there’s not enough room, but because Steve hates having to machete his way from his car into the house. Though he does look kinda cute wearing a pith helmet. For more on the greenhouse, see here and here.

I love the winters here, because you never know what you’re really going to get. You know, just like gay Tom Cruise when he opens his mouth. It could be snow (measuring in the feet), ice storms, 10-below temps, a combination of all three…or nothing. Nothing but cold. Bitter, frigid, nipples-poking-people’s-eyes-out cold.

This will be the maiden voyage for the new greenhouse and I’m just a little nervous. Will it weather the storms?

Today, Steve and I are going to do the weather proofing and install the new greenhouse heater.

Sidebar: This greenhouse came as a kit and when Scott, Steve and I put it together, it slid tightly together. To look at it, you’d never think it would leak so frakking much when it rains. Oh, but it DOES!!!

We’re more than sure today’s project will make a world of difference. My only real concern is ice storms. The heater will be able to keep up with the outside snow. Ice is another thing entirely. what about my babies? This year I’ve had such great success with my tropicals. Bird of Paradise, Kentia Palms, Pink Banana Trees (how gay is that, I ask you??), Lobster Claws and others. These take a year or so to sprout and except for the B.O.P., they are only now sprouting. (the bird of paradise are already 6″ tall)

I’ve worked very hard on growing these tropicals, which is no small feat because out of every 20 seeds (which are very expensive, let me tell you), you might get one – maybe two – actual plants. Then there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to keep them alive. So far, I have seven Bird of Paradise. Well, eight if you count the seven foot monster Pam gave me for my birthday a few weeks ago. (see here for more on that.)

So, these lovelies are going to be sitting in the greenhouse, during the winter, huddled together, probably crying. Oh, the guilt will eat me alive. All except for Pam’s monster. Even after pruning it down, spraying the entire thing to rid it of the fungus it was covered in (hey Pam, what the fuck did you do to this thing?!?). If, and that’s a very big if, it makes it through winter, it will have to do it in the garage. It’s still just too big (in the pot it weighs about 350 lbs.)

So today’s project is a very important one. With all the money invested in the greenhouse, the building materials, the plants/seeds and all the accessories, all of this had better work.

Shit, if Steve knew I spent $45 last year on the seeds that are now growing in there, he’d shit a brick and have my ass outside all winter with a fucking blow dryer making sure nothing froze.

Oops!! Love you, Baby! 😉

Actually, I’m more than sure our efforts today will work. We’re nothing if not collectively fastidious when mapping out and tackling the tricky details. Oh sure, there’s a lot of trial and error involved, but that’s part of the deal, I guess.

Yeah, this is going to work great.

I think.

I hope.

I have to go now. Need to buy a blow dryer.


Posted in Gay Construction, Just For Fun, Our Writings | 1 Comment »

Showtime At The Apocalypse

Posted by Daniel on September 29, 2006

//” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.I love filling out and sending party invitations. Other than the fact that Steve and I love to throw parties (minus the clean-up…blick!), it also gives me something to look forward to socially.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re very social…but parties are pretty much the only way we can get our “townie” friends to haul their asses this far out to the suburbs.

This one is for Halloween – my favorite holiday – and if you were a fly on the wall, you’d see that there is always a flurry of activity beginning October 1.

Decorations have to be set up. We’re not talking about some lights and pumpkins. Kids’ stuff. No, we tend to collect certain items for this party pretty much throughout the year.

At this point, I must admit to you that we have some neighbors who are of the uber-Christian variety, who are convinced we are going to hell. I know this because they’ve actually told me so. “We’re afraid you’re both going to go to hell if you both don’t accept Jesus as your personal savior and repent your ‘gay lifestyles’ and pagan worship.” Yes, they actually said that.

(fuck! you dress up as Judas Iscariot once for Halloween and they shit a brick!!)

“For the record,” I responded, “and with respect, ours is not a lifestyle ‘choice’. It’s a small part of our lives. As for pagan worship [Steve is Wiccan…I’m just a wiyatch], my spouse and I simply believe in being good people…but we’re not practicing.”

Honestly, you accidentally splash a few drops of goats’ blood on their lawn and they have a sacred cow.

(just kidding…we don’t do that kind of shit) (it was chicken blood)

At this point I have to admit that no matter how in-your-face these neighbors tend to get about their religion – and they do…at great length…whether you want them to or not – I respect their right to believe in what they want to. It does, however, tend to be somewhat annoying that they don’t allow Steve and I the same respect.

Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t always preachy towards us. Most of the time they just avoid us. If they are in their back yard doing their gardening (or as I call it “Planting the seeds of Armageddon”), and they see me coming to work in our yard (the yards are seperated by a chain link fence), they usually just scamper back inside, stand in the door and scowl. brings me back to Halloween.

This will be our “Pumpkin Slasher V” party which is for pumpking carving and obviously costumes. Much fanfare goes into this as there are always fabulous prizes for best costumes and pumpkins. Naturally, pumpkin carving must be done outside (because some folks bring power tools for the job), so the new and improved deck (see here, here, here, here and here) is perfectly set up for just that.

Well, we certainly can’t have a Halloween event going on the deck without a bit of decoration. Okay…a lot of decoration. Which bleeds out into the back yard.

I love parties. Does anyone know where I can get some life-size Four Hoesemen?

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Waking Up In Another Country

Posted by Daniel on September 28, 2006

When I got out of bed this morning it was just another day. Another day closer to the weekend. Coffee brewing…cats fed and their toys and hairballs picked up…shower and pills taken. Just another day in paradise.

Or so I thought.

//” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.No, today it appears I woke up in a different country…a different time. A republic in crisis.

Barring some miracle by the Democrats today (filibuster), congress will pass a bill [Bushs’ Anti-Terror Plan] that officially makes this country a rogue state.

Yesterdays mostly party-line 253-168 vote in the Republican-run House came shortly after senators agreed to limit debate on their own nearly identical bill, all but assuring its passage today. House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) all but dared Democrats to vote against the legislation.

Will my Democrat friends work with Republicans to give the president the tools he needs to continue to stop terrorist attacks before they happen, or will they vote to force him to fight the terrorists with one arm tied behind his back?” Boehner asked before members cast their ballots.

Democrats opposed the bill by about a 5-to-1 margin, with many wanting to tone down the powers it would give the president and the limits it would impose on terror-war suspects’ abilities to defend themselves during trials.

It should be pointed out that 34 Democrats voted in favor of this bill. These spineless representatives should be held accountable…even if it means voting them out of office. It’s just another example of politicians not voting their conscience, but instead voting against themselves losing a battle.

For a complete roll call on who voted “Ayes” or “Noes”, see here.

Democrat or Republican, I’m against you if pandering is more important to you than standing up for what you believe…even if it means losing your job.

This vote, and the upcoming Senate vote, will change forever the fundmental nature of this country. Over the past 5+ years, the current administration – with the obedience of congress – has whittled away the very foundation of what is arguably the most important document that ever existed…the Constitution.

As I said earlier, barring the Democrats growing a pair of balls in the last minute, a simular bill will pass today in the Senate. From there, the two houses hammer out an agreement, write the final version up, and send it up to the White House for President Shit-For-Brains’ paw print.

There will be much pomp and circumstance for this signing, and it will serve to show just how stupid Democrats are…they allowed such a thing to happen without a real fight.

Our only hope of stopping this scary slippery slide we’re taking into fascism is for the Supreme Court to strike this down as unconstitutional. However, since the court is now under the thumb of the administration, this is also unlikely to happen.

So, back to the beginning. When I woke up this morning, all was well. The Republican party was imploding, Bush was tanking, and the Democrats were finally standing up as the party I used to be proud of.

Or am I still asleep, and all of this is just a bad dream?

Posted in Our Writings, Politics | Leave a Comment »

What Dreams May Come

Posted by Daniel on September 27, 2006

Dreams are weird. Especially those brought on during a sleep induced by a new pain medication.

Last night I was dreaming about my plants – you know, because I’m that married…probably because it’s getting to be that time of year when they need to come in to the greenhouse.

{I’ve heard stories about how some plants (especially hard-to-get tropicals) tend to mutate when they’re cultivated in a greenhouse.}

This comes eerily close to what my head cooked up last night…

Time to lower my dosage.

Posted in Just For Fun | Leave a Comment »

Goose vs Gander

Posted by Daniel on September 26, 2006

If it weren’t for the fact that the talking heads out there in media land are so laughable – especially as we get ever closer to the midterm elections – one would quite undestandably want to throttle them.

I speak mainly of those who just bald-faced lie on the air and/or in print.

Case in point: Carlson (MSNBC) – or as I’ve come to call him, “The Pink Pudgy Thing With The Bad Hairpiece” – yesterday was interviewing someone regarding the recent uproar over Jerry Fallwell. You remember Jerry, right? He’s one of those compassionate Christians who claimed it was gays (among other things) that brought on 9/11. (Tucker———->)

Charming. I think he just needs a big squishy hug…From Tinky Winkie.

Last Friday, while hosting a “Values Voter Summit”, Falwell was on a roll, and Hillary Clinton was in his path. Falwell compared a vote for Clinton in 2008 to a vote for Lucifer.


“I certainly hope that Hillary is the candidate,” Falwell said, according to Falwell. “She has $300 million so far. But I hope she’s the candidate. Because nothing will energize my [constituency] like Hillary Clinton.”

Cheers and laughter filled the room as Falwell continued: “If Lucifer ran, he wouldn’t.”

  • See here for the complete story.

Tucker, in his usual “I’m right and I’ll lie to get ratings” way, chose to side with Falwell.

Color me surprised.

//” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.“It was just a joke!”, Carlson raved. “It was said in an off-the-cuff manner as an injection of levity. Why is it that the liberal cry baby Clinton-lovers can never see humor in anything said about the Clintons?”

“Because it wasn’t said as a joke, Tucker”, the interviewee responded. “Where was your ‘humor’ when Hugo Chavez called President Bush the devil at the UN? You and others wanted his head on a stick then.”

Carlson shot back, “That’s apples and oranges. Chavez disrespected our President. The President of the Unites States of America. How dare you compare that to what Rev. Falwell jokingly said about Hillary Clinton?”

Tucker really does have his pudgy pink finger on the pulse of reality, no?

//” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.In another segment, this one involving the now-infamous FOX News Sunday interview between Chris Wallace and Bill Clinton, Tucker championed Wallace and FOX. Now, to be fair, Tucker did say he was no fan of FOX.

In which case, Tucker should pull his head out of Rupert Murdock’s ass.

Bill Clinton became very animated when asked to explain to Wallace (and his so-called emailers) why he didn’t do enough during his presidency to rid the world of Osama Bin Laden. Clinton admitted that while he did more then than the current Administration, he failed because Bin Laden wasn’t killed or captured then.

Wallace wasn’t happy with just that. He wanted his viewers to see blood on Clinton’s hands. So he continued to press the former President and phrased his comments towards Clinton being solely responsible for the deaths of nearly 3000 people.

  • Read the transcripts here. than listen to Tucker bash the former President and defend the current occupant of the White House, Steve and I relied on Keith Olbermann to say what we’ve been saying all along…to a lesser degree.

Olbermann has zero tolerance for liars, and whatever your political position, it can’t be said that he isn’t one of the most – if not the most – straight forward and honest commentators in today’s media.

Rather than re-invent the wheel on this post, I’m adding the link to the editorial comment Keith issued as a response to FOX, Wallace, and most especially, Bush.

  • Read “A textbook definition of cowardice” here.

Suffice it to say, Keith was right. At the risk of sounding pissy, I knew I was ahead of my time on the issue of Bush. Olbermann’s commentary only served to vindicate not only my opinion (and rants), but those of millions of others – both across the country and around the world.

Bush is a criminal, a coward and a liar. Those in his administration are equally guilty of selling out this country, as well as world peace. If you have a problem with my opinion, all I can say is we’ll see you in 50 years, when history books reflect this fact.

In the mean time, I plan to continue voicing my utter disgust for the man some would blindly (or stupidly) call our President. I call him Humanities’ Public Enemy #1.

Posted in Our Writings, Politics, Religion | Leave a Comment »

Can Open…Worms Everywhere!!

Posted by Daniel on September 25, 2006


Due to the popularity of the YouTube videos below, FOX Network has yanked all videos showing the below-mentioned interview between Chris Wallace and Bill Clinton. After digging around on the net, it appears FOX’s original intent to hang 9/11 around Clinton’s neck BACKFIRED. As a result, FOX Network is crying ‘copyright infringement’ against YouTube. It is strongly suggested you watch Countdown (on MSNBC) at 8:00 PM Eastern for the updated story and video.

For those of you who are talking about the interview on Fox News Sunday between Chris Wallace and former President Clinton, stop bitching. Bitching about it implies FOX (through Wallace) gave Clinton the smackdown and then handed him his hat. This was most certainly not the case. Clinton knew he’d get a small chance to discuss his Initiative issue, but also knew he’d be baited into discussing FOX’s true agenda…slamming Clinton and taking the focus off the Bush. Too bad it only proved, once again, how devious and dishonest FOX and ALL of their team and owners are.

Never let yourself be fooled into thinking Clinton had no idea what he was about to walk into. This is, after all, Bill Clinton we’re talking about.

For the rest of you, here’s the gist of it: (for more details, go to Crooks and Liars)
This past Sunday, Bill Clinton was ‘interviewed’ by Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday. Now, everyone is familiar with the tactics of Fox and all of their so-called ‘journalists’…which none of them truly are.

Long story short, Clinton was there to talk about the “Clinton Global Initiative“, which (I’m sure) those at FOX assured him would, in fact, be the one and only topic of discussion. Just as the actual interview began, Chris Wallace tried to bitchslap Clinton by saying (by inuendo) Clinton is the reason 9/11 happened.

See the interview here:

Interview – Part 1

Interview – Part 2

(Note: The interview is about 16 minutes total running time.)

FOX has, once again, proven their icky obcession with kicking a tiger and expecting it to be a pussy.

If you want to see the aftermath of this sandbagging, watch Countdown With Keith Olbermann tonight. I have a feeling Keith will have the response we’re looking for.

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Call Me Mr. Sensitive

Posted by Daniel on September 22, 2006

I could be very off base here, but the need to rant outweighs the show of over-sensitivity.

Add one more radio station to my list of sell-out’s who hire on popular and supposedly ‘funny’ DJ’s who like to crack every gay stereotype and mean-spirited joke.

Thanks, Air America Radio. You’ve given me yet another reason to stop listening in the mornings.

First Mark Merin leaves the “Morning Sedition” show, only to leave Mark Riley to bore everyone with truly dull praddle and jazz interviews. What the fuck does jazz (which I love) have to do with a political-oriented station?? I’ve stopped listening to him.

At least I had Rachel Maddow to tune in to right after that. A very great commentator on an intelligent show. Oh wait!! Now she’s on in the late afternoon-evening.


And just who did you place in her old time slot? The Young Turks. Apparently very popular.

Okay. I’ll give them a shot.

Interesting Guests…..Check
Gay jokes……………….Checkcheckcheckcheckcheckcheckcheckcheck…

This morning, discussing a new book by former Governor Jim McGreevey, called “The Confession”. the ‘Turks’ gang – Cenk Uygur, Ben Mankiewicz and Jill Pike – used this opportunity to discuss how being a gay man equals promiscuity, dishonesty and, in McGreevey’s case, bad news for the Democrats. Not to mention how he “…gives gays everywhere a bad name.” Following the looney logic of these idiots, McGreevey’s act of adultery is something that straight men (and women) never ever attempt.

It’s no secret that many radio DJ’s, morning shows, etc. use gay jokes as a way to rake in ratings…

“Hey, Whacky Jack, is that a manicure you’re sporting?”
“Sure is, Charlie Horse. Got a big date tonight.”
“With what, a man? Dude, you are so gay!”
“No way, Pony-boy, you’re gay. At least I don’t wear hair products. like you.”

You get the picture. Of course they like to laugh it off and, as some sort of lame appeasement, throw in the obligatory “Just kidding. Nothing wrong with being gay…if that’s the lifestyle you choose.”

I know. I know. It’s just a word and I shouldn’t get so worked up over it, right? Well, try looking at it a different way. The Republicans (most of them) and the religious folks are trying so damned hard to keep that word dirty and in the front lines of politics during this, as well as the 2008 campaigns. In order to give the weak-minded xenophobes out there something to fear and go to the polls with (other than terrorism, Iraq, etc.), us marriage-busting, Tinky Winky-loving, Senior-scaring, dry-humping, bedazzler-using sissy mary’s are wearing the bullseye. As far as I’m concerned, even the left-leaning radio hosts that use ‘gay’ as a dirty word are feeding us as chum to the religious sharks.

Don’t get me wrong, I was just as disgusted by McGreevey’s actions (adultery, lying about his sexuality, breaking the news during a press conference) as the next guy, but he paid the piper. (so to speak) Now he’s written a book about his experiences. Big fat hairy fucking deal. For this he’s supposed to be nailed to the rainbow flag? Because of his book, he’s making Democrats and gays look bad?

Screw that. And the same zealots (other than the radio heads) bitching about McGreevey are the same ones who have no qualms about peddling their own litterary tripe.

A few examples of this would be…

Bill O’Reilly……………Of the loofa sexual harassment scandal.
Rush Limbaugh……..Pill-Popping-Doctor-Shopper
Ann Coulter…………..All-around lying stank-ho
Linda Chavez…………Union Hating Elitist
Michael Medved……..No Darling of the “Leftist Media”
Michael Savage………So-called PhD of Head-Up-His-Ass-ology.
Bernard Goldberg…..#91 of 100 Republicans fucking up this country.

Now, if you’re one of those self-hating gays who closets’ his/her bedazzler every time the church ladies come visiting – (“AG”), you’ll probably tell me to get over my queer little self and stop bitching about what others clearly see as simple and light-hearted ribbing on the radio.

Fair enough.

Tell you what. You stop bitching every time a public library tells you that you can’t hold “worship” gatherings in their public meeting rooms or a courthouse takes the 10 Commandments off the public square. You do that, and I’ll stop taking the oh-so-funny clandestine gay-bashing so damned seriously.

Posted in GLBT | Leave a Comment »

Gimme A Break

Posted by Daniel on September 21, 2006

Since I woke up with a lovely migraine this morning, staring at this monitor would be about as fun – and painless – as sticking a fork in my eye.  So please enjoy some random humor instead of the usual crap.



In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS




Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so) ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR







Posted in Just For Fun | 1 Comment »

Democrats Are “Brian”

Posted by Daniel on September 20, 2006

Finally, I managed to find a video that about sums up the Democratic Party…from 2000 until this November 7th.  In this video, the Democrats are portrayed by the dog (Brian) and the Republicans are being played by the kid (Stewie).

Pay particularly close attention to the very end…Which represents November 7th.

Posted in Just For Fun, Politics | Leave a Comment »

UN Diplomatic

Posted by Daniel on September 19, 2006

Today’s meeting at the UN should prove to be very interesting. Not for what happens, but rather for what doesn’t happen.

President Bush will be in the same building as Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He plans to give a stinging speech today regarding the ongoing war on terror, part of which is supposed to include criticism of Iran’s nuclear inrichment program.

It’s already been widely reported that Ahmadinejad would very much like to face Bush in a televised debate. According to Bush’s staff, this is never going to happen.

Which makes today’s gathering at the UN all the more a scene of potential bitch-slapping. Knowing the hard line stance the Iranian President continues to take, Bush is runnng on the assumption that during his speech, there won’t be some sort of repeat of the 1960 UN incident in which Nikita Khrushchev banged his shoe to disrupt a general assembly meeting.

It is widely thought that the possibility exists for Ahmadenijad to actually try to confront Bush at some point during the meetings. There are supposed to be precautions regarding this:

“I’m sure both will have minders working hard to keep them apart,” said U.N. Deputy Secretary-General Mark Malloch Brown. “So probably, the great clash of the titans, the rumble of the jungle — whatever you want to call it — is not going to happen.”


So Bush plans to stand there giving his little speech which is supposed to verbally take international leaders to the proverbial ‘woodshed’ for their lack of even basic democratic freedoms, international justice and diplomatic complacency. Sprinkled throughout this speech, I’m sure, will be smatterings of 9/11, the Middle East conflicts, Oil, humanitarian aid, terror, etc.

All the while, it will be interesting to know where, in the seating arrangement, Ahmadenijad will be sitting. Will Bush’s eyes fall upon him at any time during the speech? If so, will this provoke Ahmadenijad into ‘calling Bush out’?

I think it’s a shame that the general assembly, which is gathered to discuss important issues such as Darfur and Middle East peace, is going to be overshadowed (once again) by Bush and his terror target.

Bottom line, what further damage to the diplomatic process can the two least diplomatic people on the planet do?

The news ought to be interesting tonight.

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