The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Planning My Spontaneity

Posted by Daniel on October 3, 2006

https://i1.wp.com/www.skegness.uk.com/images/CartoonMonth/baby.JPGSteve and I were having a discussion a few days ago that really got me thinking. Actually, he did most of the talking. I was trying not to let my A.D.D. ruin the moment by being distracted by something shiny.

He was pointing out something I had, until now, not realized.

I am fourteen years old…mentally.

For any internet predators out there who might be reading this, don’t bother. It’s a euphemism.

My better half hipped me to the fact that five years ago when we first met, something in me clicked and I began to live out the childhood denied. As if a switch had been flipped to the “ON” position. Suddenly I turned into not only his partner, but his kid.

Now before you start assuming that I am some immature nut job Michael Jackson wannabe, let me set the record straight…

1) I am not into having kids over for ‘slumber parties’.
2) I am not into kiddie porn. eeeww!!
3) I don’t have my very own amusement park.
4) I am not a Republican Congressman from Florida.

It’s true, when Steve and I go shopping anywhere, certain things alway seem to catch my eye. Shiny things. Colorful toys. Anything with buttons…Oh, those buttons will be pushed. It’s all Steve can do to keep an eye on me because I tend to wander off. He’s become very adept at using the shopping cart to ‘herd’ me away from distractions. Picture a kid about 9 years old taken to Wal Mart who has just drank a JOLT Cola. It isn’t pretty, and mayhem will be unleashed.

Quite honestly, I wasn’t like this years ago, and I know this isn’t some sort of warped mid-life crisis. (not to brag, but I have no need to buy a red convertible…if you catch my meaning)

Over the years, I was always forced to be the adult. I always seemed to meet – and subsequently ‘marry’ – every immature gold digger. 20+ years of that will turn anyone into “Mr. Responsible”. Checkbooks always balanced. Stable work as a military contractor. Faithfully manogamous. Dependable and honest to a fault.

I was so together!!

There never seemed time for me to let my proverbial hair down.

Then I met Steve and, without realizing it, I became a kid again.

In retrospect, it’s easy to see how and when it happened.

You know that voice inside you that says, “He’s the one. After all the assholes who used you and took you for granted. Well, your hard work is about to pay off. This man is your reward for building up so much good karma.

If you expect the unexpected, does the unexpected become expected? – Anonymous

Daniel – 5 1/2 years ago:
“The weight of all of the sunlight that hits the Earth every 24 hours is approximately 4 1/2 lbs.”

Daniel – September 4, 2001:
“Oohh…Spongebob shoe laces. I want ’em…I want ’em…I want ’em!!”

This brings me back to the beginning of this post. When I said Steve and I were having a discussion where he was doing most of the talking, I wasn’t implying this was an argument. He was actually pointing something out ot me in a funny ha-ha kinda way. Believe it or not, we don’t fight about things. It’s a long-standing promise we made to one another from day-one.

We bicker once in a while.

Oh, yes…we do that well. (but never in a bad way)

Steve: “Put that back on the shelf. You don’t need that.”
Daniel: “Yes I do.”
Steve: “You always want to argue with me.”
Daniel: “No I don’t!”
Steve: “You’re doing it right now.”
Daniel: “No I’m not.”

http://x17.xanga.com/0bfb93e71633440925995/b27882677.jpgYeah, Steve earned his proverbial wings the day we got together. Especially since we’ve been together. He takes care of everything. He is sometimes forced to be the stern mommy. Suddenly he’s now “Mr. Responsible”. I became “Mr. Potato Head”.

Make no mistake. I still know things. For example, batrachotoxin (produced by the dart frog) is the most powerfull animal venom known. 250 times more powerful than strychnine.

But who cares?! X-Men III is coming out on DVD today!!!

Woo-Hoooo!!!!

(This article is also cross-posted on Gay Men Rule)

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2 Responses to “Planning My Spontaneity”

  1. Scott said

    You don’t “need” a red convertible but you won’t drive a mini van. But we won’t split hairs will we .

    I don’t know what you mean by adust A.D.D, oh wait…man in shorts walking by …………….

  2. RevelKC2 said

    You need to change the Spongebob Shoelace date to *2005*. Then you need to *go to my room, young man!*
    (wink)

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