The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Put Him Out To GREENer Pastures!!

Posted by Daniel on January 7, 2007

I don’t know if you’re aware of this or not, but the gays in this household are true-blue football fans. Now, while I am also really into soccer (a/k/a “football” around the rest of the planet), for the sake of this story,  I am referring to American footbal. NFL football.

Yes, it’s true, it’s not just a game for straight armchair quarterbacks anymore. Gone are the days when our straight friends talk around us about things like “quarterback sneaks” and “bad calls” and “off sides”, leaving us to think they were referring to hi-top sneakers and fashion faux pas and bangs. Time – and the love of being an athletic supporter – has changed all that.

“We’re here…We’re Queer…Now pass me a chicken wing!!”

Living in the Kansas City metro area, obviously we’re big fans of the Chiefs. Like the rest of our area, we route loud and proud for our home team…and we scream and throw up our hands when they screw up.

Which brings me to yesterday’s abysmal routing in Indianapolis when the Chiefs were turned into the Squaws by the Colts, 23 to 8. If you’re a sports fan, you’ve either seen the so-called game or read about it in every paper…probably even in Field & Stream…it was THAT bad.

While we like our teams’ quarterback, Trent Green, I think it’s NOW obvious he never should have played this first game of the playoff’s. He’s been beset by far too many injuries, not the least of which was a concussion suffered very early in the regular season that kept him out of play most of the season.

Why did they play him yesterday? He can’t run due to an ankle injury…He can’t throw due to an arm twist…and don’t forget about that concussion. Someone high up in the Chiefs organization had to know this game was doomed from the minute Green took the field. Where was the call for Green’s stand-in (for MOST of the regular season), Damon Huard? Why pot such an important game in the hands of such a banged-up starter?

Money. Pure and simple. Green makes the big bucks and they wanted him to earn his money.

How’s that working out for you, fellas??

The very fact that the Chiefs even made it into the playoff’s was the result of several bizzare game-endings regarding other teams. Not, and I can’t stress that enough, because of the Chiefs’ stats or wins. It was pire luck brought on by other teams having had the misfortune of losing their own playoff seed wildcard games.

Yeah!! Oh no!! We have to play against the Indianapolis Colts (again) the very next week (again) IN Indianapolis (again)…and we lost to the Colts (yet a-fucking-gain).

Zero first down’s until LATE in the 3rd quarter. At game’s end, a whopping total of 16 yards gained. Green sacked FOUR times and fumbled once. Larry Johnson ( the NFL record-holder for most carries in a regular season – 423) was held to a grand total this game of 21 yards.

Can all of the blame for this deja vous ass-whooping be placed only on Green’s shoulders? Of course not. The team, as a whole, played as though they just couldn’t wait to get on a plane headed for the vacation spots they thought they’d be at last week. It really wouldn’t be too far off the mark to say many players were more focused on the fact that they had to reschedule flights than what the hell to do on the field. Many did play with all their hearts, but the team (again, as a whole) just didn’t seem to be interested in continuing on with the post season.

I guess when they pay you such a ridiculously vulgar amount of money, you can just have that attitude, yes?

Those of us in attendance for the game party held at our house were all in agreement that Green should NOT play the second half. We did everything from pray (yeah, some of THEM were here) to lighting candles to dancing around a large bonfire chanting to the god’s of the gridiron.

Then the second half began and there was Trent. When asked during halftime in the lockeroom if Green would be pulled out for the second half, Coach Edwards said, “Absolutely NOT!!”. (his exact words)

Well coach…now that you’re team is, once again, OUT of the playoff’s after the first game, you have the next 8 months to reconsider that statement…and the initial question…

Will you pull Trent Green out NOW???

Touchdown!!  Sadly, the only one!!Can you see the Chiefs Player?

UPDATE:
Weird thing…During this horror movie of a game, I was messing around with the digital camera and thought I’d taken a picture of the wall or something (the Chiefs were having ten seconds of good playing, and I, like everyone else, was all excited). In fact, I’d actually taken a picture of the Chiefs making their ONLY touchdown. (see pictures above) I decided to show the actual picture as taken, as well as zooming in for the touchdown.

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