The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Sunday Funnies…Missouri Winter Temperatures

Posted by Daniel on January 28, 2007

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60 above zero:
Arizonians turn on the heat.
People in Missouri plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Kansas City sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Missouri drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Independence gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Missouri throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Missouri have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Missourians close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Missouri get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Missouri are selling cookies door to door. (True!)

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Missouri let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Missourians get upset because they can’t start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Missouri start saying…”Cold ‘nuf f fer ya?”

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Missouri public schools will open 2 hours late.

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2 Responses to “Sunday Funnies…Missouri Winter Temperatures”

  1. Yeah…I was kinda fond of that one, too. Many thanks, Smilie 🙂

  2. Smiley said

    LMAO @ “People in Miami all die!”

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