The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Sunday Funnies…Missouri Winter Temperatures

Posted by Daniel on January 28, 2007

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60 above zero:
Arizonians turn on the heat.
People in Missouri plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Kansas City sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Missouri drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Independence gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Missouri throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Missouri have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die.
Missourians close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Missouri get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Missouri are selling cookies door to door. (True!)

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Missouri let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Missourians get upset because they can’t start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Missouri start saying…”Cold ‘nuf f fer ya?”

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Missouri public schools will open 2 hours late.


2 Responses to “Sunday Funnies…Missouri Winter Temperatures”

  1. Yeah…I was kinda fond of that one, too. Many thanks, Smilie 🙂

  2. Smiley said

    LMAO @ “People in Miami all die!”

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