The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Language Barriers – What’s The Diff??

Posted by Daniel on January 29, 2007

//www.montrealmirror.com/ARCHIVES/1997/073197/gaystraight.gif” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Gay….. Anything in a tool chest that doesn’t resemble a hammer.
Str8…..The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Gay…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Str8…. Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Gay… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Str8… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Gay… A desire to get married and raise a family.
Str8…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Gay…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Str8…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Gay… An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Str8…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Gay…. The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Str8.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Gay…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Str8… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

I enter these because I had an emial from a girlfriend who wanted to know if there were differences between a straight guy and a MO…other than the obvious ones.

In our house, however, the questions/answers are very different:

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Steve…..Any website that requires him to type anything more than “Enter”.
Daniel…Anything at Lowe’s or Home Depot he KNOWS he needs, but has no idea what it is.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Steve…..Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Daniel…Turning into a goopy mess when a plant dies.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Steve…..”Get away from that.”  “Put that down.”  “No.”  “What did I just say…?” Daniel…That thing Steve does, until something shiny catches my eye.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Steve…..The hearing he KNOW’S is coming for me.
Daniel…Voluntary…Involuntary…we just KNOW it’s gonna happen.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Steve……A good movie, concert, play or book.
Daniel… Anything shiny, colorful, has buttons or can otherwise distract me.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Steve…..”Hey, it happens…Life goes on.
Daniel…”Oh, this is going to be good…”.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Steve…..The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Daniel…Out of nothing at all.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Steve…..A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Daniel…Fun little devices with which to channel surf and otherwise satiate my A.D.D.

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3 Responses to “Language Barriers – What’s The Diff??”

  1. Hey Smiley (Joshua), when you think about it, it really IS still an “Air Supply”. (hehe)

    And Scott…I sure have missed you. Nice to see I can make you smile. :)~

  2. Smiley said

    I used to like that Air Supply song 😛

  3. atari_age said

    Ha! These are great! Accurate, too, I think.

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