The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

What’s Next…Locust??

Posted by Daniel on May 6, 2007

//www.rainbowcastle.org/10plagueswheel.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Okay…this has been a very weird week here at chez Anderson-Howard.

If I were a religious person (and I most certainly am not), I’d swear we’ve somehow incurred the ten plagues. I think as of today, we’re working on either #3 or #4.

I’ll backtrack a little to explain.

Now that it’s finally warming up in this area, we thought it would be great to open the windows for some long-overdue fresh air. I say long overdue because this past winter hung on a bit longer than normal, and quite frankly, I was getting a little itchy to get outside to start my annual planting/landscaping. After one last gasp of below freezing weather that lasted a week, much was lost to the arctic blast. Plants that were already budding and beautiful froze and now look pretty sad. Even our brickwork aroud the gardens turned – somehow – into powder.

Anyway, now that it’s warm, we opened the windows. For some reason, hundreds of horseflies (notice I didn’t say houseflies) has gathered inside one of the master bedroom windows. We have NO idea where these pests came from or why they only seemed to gather in that particular window. Especially considering it’s a double (side-by-side) window and the window next to it was completely void of the little pests. Now, just as mysteriously, they are all gone. Save for the few our mighty huntress Sheena was able to snatch out of the air.

Moving on to the second plague…MOLES.

I have had this yearly war to wage against the little burrowing varmints in hopes of staving off the considerable damage they inflict on the lawn. Keep in mind, it’s a very huge challenge to keep a lawn growing here at all, considering the soil and erosion (rain) problems we have every year. So what lawn and landscaping I do have, it tears me up to see every morning the new damage the moles have done every night. After trying every holistic remedy known to man to rid us of these little diggers, we finally caved in and called the professionals. $300 and some poisoned gummy earthworms later, the moles are back…and I think they invited friends. That battle wages on.

Now we get into the latest of the plagues…FLOOD.

For the past 36 hours, it has been raining here and it appears not to be ending for another three days. When I say “raining”, I don’t mean nice steady drizzle. I’m talking non-stop gully-washers. At last measuring, we have topped five inches and it just keeps coming. And, thrown in for good measure, a heaping helping of hail. (would that count as the fourth plague?)

We are not on what would be considered a flood plain…it’s actually very hilly here. But our newly remodeled family room (which is in the basement) has been flooding since early this morning. We’ve spent all day rescuing everything down there and cleaning up the water and trying to keep it dry, but every time it starts pouring really hard (about every hour or so), the flooding returns.

I know I shouldn’t complain really, considering we’ve not been hit by tornadoes…but our neighbors to the west have, in the past 36 hours, had to endure over 300 twisters. So yeah, I am counting my blessings on that note.

Is Steve right? Is my karma so bad? Have I really pissed off “Caravanis” (the Patron Saint of Minivans) to the point that she has decided to smite me?

Fine. I’ll light a candle and set some burnt offerings next to my neighbor’s minivan. Maybe lay a wreath made of dandelions on the hood, just for good measure.

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One Response to “What’s Next…Locust??”

  1. Cameron said

    Sounds like dogass flies to me

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