The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Patient Zero

Posted by Daniel on January 28, 2008

Nurse RATCHET At Your ServiceWell today Seth went in for his dental surgery and it’s been quite an emotional build up to this point.

Four wisdom teeth had to be removed in the same sitting.


Now, for several days leading up to today’s surgery I have been razzing him by telling him all the fun things I planned to do to him during his recovery.

You know what I mean.  Dressing him up in ridiculous outfits…bad lighting…embarrassing photos of the drool puddles and puffy cheeks.  Hell, I even went so far as to make him one of those biggo funnels like they put on a dogs’ head so that he doesn’t lick the stitches.

Poor little thing.  You should have SEEN how pitiful he looked when he was in the recovery room coming out of the anesthesia.   Dazed and confused like someone had moved his food dish.

And what do you think happens when I get him home and put to bed, surrounded by cold liquids to drink, puddings and Jello’s at the ready…pain killers ready to be popped?

I’ve Lost ItNothing.

I just couldn’t bring myself to humiliate him.

What is the DEAL?!?!?!?!

Have I just lost my touch?  Has the evil I so pride myself for possessing simply bled out of me like so much armpit sweat?  How could I pass up such a golden opportunity??

Do I just brush off my horns and toss my pitchfork to the junk heap?

What…you think it’s that easy?  You think all those years honing my skills at work on the Dark Side were for nothing??

Grow up, Minerva!!

Without further ado…

Here’s what he looked like before the surgery:



…and here’s the new Seth!!!

 Eeewww….even WORSE!!!


5 Responses to “Patient Zero”

  1. Kirk G said

    I’m surprised that Seth’s new job would let him off for dental recovery after such a brief employment. Or are you telling me that you just made Seth inhale some gases to knock him out so you could have your way with him, and when he woke up… well, the bruising in his mouth made it SEEM like it had been a Dentist doing the “drilling”. Hmmmmm??? (Fess up, Daniel!)

  2. Seth said

    Has the beast been tamed? Have you REALLY lost your touch or was I just that pathetic? I think it’s because you were scared of me! You know how sick, twisted, and vile I can be!

    Wise you are to avoid embarassing me! You know I will get revenge!

  3. fabooj said

    I’m sorry, but Seth looked way better before the dental surgery.

  4. Scott said

    I don’t know what to say…last time I was this disappointed was when the 19 year old (possible husband number 22) said he need 710 for his car. He had to, and fast! Don’t let this happen again.

  5. Cameron said

    Daniel, this is hilarious. I was cracking up laughing the whole time. Poor little fella. I had only 1 pulled last year and that was bad enough. Take care of him.

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