The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Divorce – The Gift That Keeps On Taking

Posted by Daniel on September 2, 2008

Note: I was torn between the above title or calling it, “Cause That’s The Way Things Happen On The Bi-Polar Express”. Either way they both seem to apply.

So it’s come to this…

I’ve been so excited lately now that the Dems have picked their pony and he’s picked his running mate that I was all perked up to write a long-awaited political piece. I realize that it’s been almost a year since I last wrote anything political (and so many of you relished in reminding me of that), however I was just so over done with the primaries and worn out from all the talking heads and their inane drivel…I just didn’t want to ad one more story to the muck.

Well, it looks like you guys will have to wait a bit longer for that political satire, as I’ve come smack up against a bit of an online tug-o-war with my ex and his sister.

So please excuse the following rant but I feel the need to vent and where better than my new (get that Ex’s Sister?…my new and oh-so-user-friendly!!) blog?

See, since my obviously overdue divorce, things have been rather tepid between the ex and I. We still care(d) for one another and want(ed) only the best for each other. Hell, as has been pointed out in so many other posts since the divorce, the very reason for the split was because we wanted to salvage a friendship rather than to lose that as well.

There have been some awkward lapses in communication since we split up, mostly due to the distance between us now and also because we’ve both been so busy trying to make fresh starts. But for the most part, we’ve been able to manage as best we could.

That is, however, until someone closest to him decided to continue her medications-induced meddling and urge to stir up trouble and drama.

Now before I go on, I want to point out that this is in no way an online war. I was roped into one of those before and I learned that there are never any winners and it only makes those involved look like losers. Instead of being a war ON the internet, this is a war ABOUT the internet. So I feel justified in brandishing my standard and charging forward into the fray.

Next time, I go to a TRAINED professional.

Next time I

Late in 2006 my ex’s sister and I were discussing my at-that-time-blog and the need to make some changes to it. At the time, she was going to school to learn web design and before she graduated she needed to complete a web-design project. This worked out well, as she offered her services (free of charge…remember that, Ex’s Sister?…free of charge – YOUR WORDS) to build me a new site from which to spout my thoughts. The domain name was registered and by May of 2007, we launched the version of the blog she created. All I had to do was pay for the annual renewal of the domain name. Actually, she paid for this at first (which I thought was cool of her) but then it was only practical that my ex (who, at that time, was involved with the sight) and I pay for that annual renewal ourselves.

So that’s what we did, until this past Christmas, when my ex decided he really didn’t have time to write on the blog anymore. So I was to pay for it myself. Fair enough. That Christmas, we all did the family thing at her house and I gave her a check for the 2008 renewal. There were witnesses and I have the canceled check.

Mind you, during that last year, she and I had some functionality issues with the site that apparently couldn’t be worked out. This caused her to have issues with me (I suppose she thought I was being too picky, in which case, she would be right) and she rarely, if ever, uttered a word to me since mid 2007. She did, however, accept my check for the renewal without a qualm.

We always just made the check out to her because she had other dealings with the host site. No biggie, either way it was taken care of.

Unfortunately, it was, indeed, a very-biggie. Because since she stopped talking to me, she has been itching for some kind of fight. And she chose to start one last night…(probably still mad because someone dropped a house on her sister)…


No warning. No explanation. No nothing!!

Now she decides to inform us (the quotes are from exchanges made today between her and Seth) (the red marks are my reactions)

“Sorry to inform that the blog in question was being hosted on my website (lie #1 – it was hosted on GoDaddy), I also own the domain name (lie #2 – I was paying for it). The writer of said blog (me) owes a considerable amount of money (lie #3 – if this was the case, why was there NEVER a bill??) as you are well aware (lie #4 – she never made mention of this EVER until today) – when such restitution is made in full (a/k/a when HELL freezes over)– the files will be returned to him (isn’t this theft of intellectual property??). The blog was only taken down when my brother notified me that Daniel had missed the truck payment and Toyota called him – then he (Steve) had to make it (I never asked him to do that…never).

Have either of you priced web services (you mean by a REAL professional??)? Daniel never paid a cent for the design (lie #5 – refer back to the paragraph about Christmas last year) and development of that site – so yes I have every right (lie #6 – show me a bill, unpaid invoice, SOMETHING!!) to do with it as I see fit (I’d love to make a suggestion). If you want to buy the website and domain name from me, I’m certain we can agree on a figure satisfactory to all parties.” (how ’bout nothing, is nothing satisfactory enough for you?)

Contrary to the fact that we were paying for that domain name, she’s suddenly become so bitter and drama-thirsty that she’s developed amnesia and VERY passive aggressive.

So I told her that I was sick of her drama-lust and to just keep the domain name, as I’d already set up this blog and imported all the data from the old one to here. Sometimes it’s just not worth the headache…though I’d STILL love to see ANY evidence of ANY unpaid invoice or workorder. It was a good thing Michael had me do so as I’d have lost everything otherwise.

The good news is, if it weren’t for the fact that Michael was having a hard time adding the disputed blog to his as a contributor, I probably wouldn’t have gotten to starting a long-overdue revamped blog in time before the bipolar express came and derailed me.

The bad news is that 99% of the images that were imported from the old site (for each post) were also deleted. I still have them on my PC and it will take some work to get them all back in place, but it will be worth every minute just to be rid of the nightmare sister of the ex.

In all fairness, she decided to pick this fight because she NOW thinks I was cheating on my ex. This was never the case. Never, ever EVER!! I can be a lot of things, but I’m not wired to cheat on anyone. I don’t even like porn, for crissakes!!! Call me a bitch…say I have attitude…accuse me of showing a lack of tact in the most inopportune moments…You’d be right on all counts. But she really struck a nerve with that one, and it was made more hurtful when the ex bought into it. All because I wrote a story on how my friend threw up on me and I decided to write the piece in a satirical way to make it more funny.

As if being thrown up on isn’t hilarious on it’s own merits, right?

Then she decided to throw even more shit into the fan…

“Wow Daniel must be way more STUPID than I thought if he put up with being treated like shit for 7 years and delusional too to write blog after blog about how happy he was. Who took care of him when he was sick and couldn’t work – it wasn’t Afflack. Don’t give me bullshit about issues – marriage means taking good and bad, better or worse, it’s good for you to know how Daniel handles being unhappy in a relationship – committment only means until it doesn’t work for him- hope you have a plan B. Ever think maybe he’s just a mooch like you and took all the “abuse” for a meal ticket hmmmm? and lied about it to everyone?”

“I’m just going based on what you said in these emails about their relationship. You are the one who said he was abused. All I know is that everything was fine “according to Daniel” until you came along. Hmmm now he was being “abused’ in their relationship? Either he was lying then or he’s lying now. Can’t have it both ways. Oh but you are a liar too so I probably shouldn’t believe anything you say.”

For the record, I never claimed to have been “abused”, and since she’s playing spokes-whatever for the ex, I’ll also say (for the record and for all the world to see) that I have a health condition. It’s called HIV. It comes with oodles of fucked up shit that we have to deal with on a daily basis. But I carried on…I worked…I made it take a backseat to my life. And I warned the ex about this on our third date, and told him if it’s ever going to be a problem for him, that this was his chance to say so. He, instead, said it was NOT a problem. Funny thing is that over the next seven years, if and when I felt bad or sick, his FIRST reaction was ALWAYS, “Oh, it’s always something with you.” or “You’re always sick.

But even then I wasn’t accusing him of abusing me. Believe me when I say, we both did enough (by way of our oh-so-different personalities) damage to the relationship. I never claimed “everything was fine”…I always said we were trying to make things work. Hear that Ex’s Sister? WE tried…not just him.

So anyways, the ex’s sister decided to yank my website off the internet because she wants to defend her brother from what is essentially shit she’s making up and flames she’s fanning.

Oh, and little miss professional wasn’t finished there. Here’s her response (quoted word for word) to my request for her to return control of my website/blog back to me…

“fuck off – you’re lucky it doesn’t splash what I really think of you – you lousy cheating bastard. Go play on “The Fresno Version” with your little slut boy.”

Pretty classy, huh?

“You better remember that before you do ‘whatever it takes’ to get it back. Don’t piss me off anymore than I already am because I will take legal action for libel if one word appears about me or Steve in “The Fresno Version” or on your Myspace page. Both will be deleted if you violate the TOS and I file a complaint. Don’t push or I will push back.”


Disclaimer: I never once mentioned Ex’s Sisters’ name in this post…and the only one who mentioned the other name was her. Okay, I mentioned Michael, too, but he is part of “The Fresno Version” and he’s a friend. It’s called Freedom of Speech, and I exercise that right. The contents herein are my opinion and the truth as I see it. This post was written in self-defense as a result of an insane woman’s rantings. Any similarities between persons alive, dead or otherwise considered insane are purely coincidental. No animals were harmed in the making of this post. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.



3 Responses to “Divorce – The Gift That Keeps On Taking”

  1. Seth said

    Oh Daniel, you forgot something. Not only were there slanderous and threatening emails sent to you, but there were claims to bodily injury to me, personal threats, harassment, libel on a public blog, and more.

    Yes, a public threat to cause bodily injury to me. You did it BEFORE you maliciously deleted DANIEL’S blog. I have proof. I still have the comment you originally posted. THAT is grounds for a lawsuit, MISSY!

  2. Daniel said

    I have no intention of deleting my post. It is a TRUE account of what happened, regardless of how you now want to vindictively twist it. But I’ll make you a deal, provide ANY evidence of a past-due invoice, work order, bill, ANYTHING that shows that I owe you anything for the website (dated at time OF website creation) and I’ll yank this post right off. This is a promise. And since we both know you can’t provide any such document, as there never was one to begin with, I know that I am not telling anything untrue and therefore if I AM committing libel, it is in self-defense.

    SELF-DEFENSE/REPLY — A self-defense or reply defense can be successful if the publisher can show that the libel was a response to a previous attack made by the person claiming libel. (don’t forget the slanderous and threatening emails you’ve already sent me)

  3. The Sister said

    To state a defamation claim, the person claiming defamation need not be mentioned by name — the plaintiff only needs to be reasonably identifiable.
    Some states allow people to sue for damages that arise when others place them in a false light. Information presented in a “false light” is portrayed as factual, but creates a false impression about the plaintiff
    When libel is clear on its face, without the need for any explanatory matter, it is called libel per se. The following are often found to be libelous per se:

    A statement that falsely:
    • Tends directly to injure him in respect to his office, profession, trade or business, either by imputing to him general disqualification in those respects that the office or other occupation peculiarly requires, or by imputing something with reference to his office, profession, trade, or business that has a natural tendency to lessen its profits; .

    This information was provided by WordPress – I have requested they review the post.

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