The Tempest Online™

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Unspeakable Holiday Gaffes

Posted by Daniel on December 5, 2008

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The summer is gone and Fall is all but a memory, and with the first signs of winter appearing, it’s never to early to start mentally preparing yourself for the upcoming holiday season. The following are some traps to avoid as you celebrate…

Ensuring department store elves are extra perky by providing them with special “Christmas Meth.”

After priest finishes midnight mass sermon detailing the virgin birth, hollering “Prove it!” from the back of the church.

Taking nap in manger after one too many mulled wines.

At office holiday party, offering to show the ladies your Christmas balls.

For Christmas dinner? Delicious reindeer steak!

At in-laws Chanukah party, saying “Wow! This is even jewier than I thought it would be!” (this one came from my friend, Zelda, so blame her)

Selecting and cutting down your own Christmas tree from your neighbor’s living room.

Filling your spouse’s stocking with evidence of your affairs.

Gather neighborhood orphans to announce non-existence of Santa Claus, hope and their future.

Garnishing your holiday eggnog with sprigs of mistletoe.

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3 Responses to “Unspeakable Holiday Gaffes”

  1. […] bookmarks tagged unspeakable Unspeakable Holiday Gaffes « The Tempest Online saved by 1 others     nickyboston bookmarked on 12/16/08 | […]

  2. KG said

    I must confess, I thought it was a bikini brief when I first saw it too…

  3. CB said

    I gotta warn you, that photo looks like an oversized g-string…. you know, the early version of the Thong!

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