The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Road Rage…My New Best Friend!

Posted by Seth on December 8, 2008

What they test you on in the DMV's around California.

What constitutes a good driver? Is it someone who abides by all the rules of the road? Is it an offensive or defensive driver? Or is it a considerate driver? Who knows? One thing is for sure though, the good ones aren’t in fucking Fresno! And I thought Kansas City drivers were bad! HELL NO!

In Kansas City, the drivers make obviously bad decisions. On the interstate, there would be a bend in the highway. Not a turn. A bend is when the road goes from straight, to slighly askew. Just your everyday slight bend. The drivers there would treat it as if it was a turn, which is something that indicates using your turning signal! This causes a massive slow down, thus resulting in a traffic jam and accidents. When the accidents happen, people have to slow down to watch. Thus causing further backups.

Unlike Kansas City, Fresno drivers know what decisions they’re making. They just don’t give a flying fuck about anyone else.

It’s common knowledge, or so I thought, that when someone is merging onto the interstate you move over for them if possible. If you can’t that’s fine. The person merging slows down until they can get on. The problem here is when someone is merging, the people in the far right lane won’t get the fuck over! Even if there is pleanty of room, they won’t move! I don’t get this! I got boxed in today because some old fucking bastard driving a bread truck and this idiot woman wouldn’t move. It took everything I had not to ram them into the median, get out of the truck, and go up the them and yell FUCK YOU!

The Story of my Life!

While driving on the interstate, for some reason, everyone seems to think there is only one damn lane…the right lane! They make it so fucking difficult to merge onto the interstate as well as getting off! No one wants to get out of that lane because they’re afraid they won’t be able to get back into it. Well, cut someone off within inches of taking off their bumper like everyone else!

There’s another thing that pisses me off. I’m pretty sure the “right on red” thing is legal in every state. It’s legal here unless posted otherwise. I’ll be sitting at a light or turning left in an intersection, and there will be some asshole sitting in the opposing side of the intersection waiting to do the “right on red”. Either halfway through the intersection or watching others pass through, there is always that dip shit that is going to gun it at the last second! They have pleanty of time to do it before traffic takes there chance, but nooooooooo! They have to make their right hand turn right when they’re not supposed to! Therefore stopping traffic right in the center of the intersection. When the light turns green for one way or another, they can’t go because traffic is backed up! Son of a bitch! They’re as bad as the Asian drivers!

We no like to drive!

There is no thought, no logic, and no consideration for others. Now I know the meaning of the “Welcome to California!” signs. What they should say is “Welcome to California! Now you’re fucked!”

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6 Responses to “Road Rage…My New Best Friend!”

  1. FightThePower said

    Not quite as bad as the white drivers though.

  2. Seth said

    I know my road rage. I would be too tempted and want to open the door completely. Then my realistic side would come out and realize I would be missing a door. The cyclist would end up being some HUGE guy that didn’t get hurt, and kick the shit out of me. So, what I’ll end up doing is just bitch about it.

    That is UNTIL one of those bastards takes off one of the mirrors and really pisses me off! I would get out of the truck, pick up that mirror, and beam it at the fuckers head!

    I thank you for your advice though. I’ll at least give that a shot.

  3. CB said

    You know, when you see a suicide motorcyclist coming full speed up between the cars in your rearview mirror, there IS something you can do…. Just unlatch your door, BUT DON’T SHOVE IT OPEN… just let it set there about an inch open, so that he doesn’t know what it’s going to do. If he’s watching at all, he’ll slow way the hell down…and get ready to stop. If not, well, you’ve lost nothing but the ability to slam your door again once he’s past…

  4. Seth said

    HA! Yeah! I forgot about the motorcycles!!! Those fuckers piss me off too! I have been tempted SOOOOO many times to just open my door when I see one coming up! Sad thing is, they don’t have a good example to be lead by. I SEE COPS DOING IT TOO! I can’t really bitch about that though. Cops seem to think the law doesn’t apply to them when it comes to driving.

    You hit the nail on the head with the on off switches! That’s pretty much how they do it. Driving in California without insurance is like sending Helen Keller into a mine field.

    I would take idiot drivers over ‘screw you’ drivers ANYDAY as well! At least they are more apt to care if they hit you.

  5. Scott said

    Let us not forget the motorcycles zooming up between parked cars, the fact that California cars don’t have accelerator pedals (they are on off switches…same goes for the brakes), and the signals there don’t mean ‘may I come over (and they will stop dead on the highway if you don’t let them)’ but rather ‘I am coming over, hit me and it is your fault because I signaled’. Now you know why I won’t drive my cousin’s car when I come out…I rent one and get all of the insurance they offer so I can just walk away. I’ll take idiot drivers any day over blatant ‘screw you’ drivers.

  6. Kirk G said

    take it easy, Seth.
    You’ll have a stroke.
    I thought everyone knew that driving in California is very agressive. It’s that way in most larger metropolis.

    I remember now how tricky it can be to try to merge. Don’t they have light controlled entrance ramps to help manage this?

    Take it easy, son. You’re beginning to worry me!

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