The Tempest Online™

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Archive for February, 2009

We the People…

Posted by Daniel on February 28, 2009

You know, I’ve heard a lot from readers over the past year or so about how I’ve let up too much on writing on the topic of politics.

Truth is that I, like many others, was so burned out by all the campaigns, mud-slinging, lies and pandering (by BOTH parties) that even I, “Mr. Asshole Liberal Jaded Opinion Man” (true story, one of our readers actually called me that) got burned out on it all.

Don’t get me wrong, Seth and I still follow what’s going on politically every day and have many one-on-one discussions about it all.  Just because I haven’t written about it lately doesn’t mean I’ve fallen out of the loop.

Quite the contrary, actually.

As a matter of fact, the shabby, whiney and – quite frankly – UN-Christian actions of the GOP (especially this week at the CPAC rally) have awakend this humble scribe.  And it sucks for them that I awoke on the wrong side of the bed…and there’s no coffee, so excuse me if this gets a little cranky at times.

I remember about eight years ago when we were all being hammered over the head by the GOP with words like, “He’s your President, and to NOT support him is un-American.” (Sean Hannity), and “Democrats should get over it.  A Republican was elected President and it’s time to move on.  He’s YOUR President.”  (Ann Coulter)

Forgive me, Rebecca, for what I’m about to say…but it’s time…

No matter how you slice it…no matter how far they will bend over to kiss the asses of their base…Republicans are the worst hypocrites.

Case in point:

Morality talk show host, Laura Schesinger told people they were slime for being unfaithful or untruthful in marriage and then tried to lie as part of a cover up regarding provocative nude pictures that were taken of her while she was married to one man by the man she was having an affair with.

I know there are plenty of Democrats you could point to with equally repulsive examples, (Joe Lieberman)(notice how the first three letters in his last name are L-I-E???) but as the GOP so loves to say, “Let’s just talk about the here and now.”

The GOP seems lost these days.  You can’t tune to any channel these days without a story being ran about how hard they are working to try to get back to their core values (whatever the hell THOSE were).  And while they are all scrambling to regain political footing after a well-deserved trouncing last November, the irony is how much more damage they are doing to themselves TRYING to pull their collective shit together.

They are doing their best to put as much political distance as they possibly can between themselves and FORMER-President George Bush, but at the same time, they are looking to such ilk as Sarah Palin, Joe-the-Plumber, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and RNC Chairman Michael Steele for salvation?

Honestly, folks, it was these pandering liars and MANY other water-carriers LIKE them that got you where you are today.  These are the same people who think it’s just a funny harmless joke to have PRESIDENT Obama’s picture on a food stamp.  Or think it’s funny to see a cartoon of a dead monkey shot by police that references PRESIDENT Obama.  Or say that there won’t be an Easter Egg hunt at the White House this year, and underline the statement with a picture of a watermelon patch on the White House lawn.

And you STILL bitch about how Democrats are STILL seething about the fact that George Bush “won” the election in 2000???

Tell you what, GOP…I’ll stop bitching about 2000 if you (and EVERYONE who sympathizes WITH you) will stop characterizing the Obama’s as monkeys, apes or ANY other stereotype.

And stop lying to me and others by saying you detest such comparisons.  We no longer buy that song and dance.  Just because you SAY you object to that sort of mudslinging means nothing. If you really MEANT to stop your supporters from such shameless and childish words and acts, you’d actually have mentioned it at your little CPAC jamboree…even ONCE!!!!

“Classic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. ROLLING IN THE MUCK IS NOT THE BEST WAY OF GETTING CLEAN.” – – – – – Aldous Huxley

I have a sense of humor.  Believe me when I tell you that I know the value of a good laugh.  Ask anyone I know.  Your brand of so-called humor, however, is in no way funny.  Because those cartoons, jokes (I fucking HATE those anti-Obama emails I’m getting, even from family, so stifle that shit!!!), etc. are not meant to bring a smile to people’s face.  Instead they are intended to incite hate, anger and to perpetuate racism.

I don’t find ANYTHING funny about THAT shit.  And more people than you care to admit think the same way as I do.

Whether you like them or not.  Whether you respect them or not.  Whether you VOTED for him or NOT…

President Barack Obama is, in fact, YOUR PRESIDENT!!

Just as you insisted we have and show respect for that office when George Bush was in it (because he was THE PRESIDENT), so you now must put up or shut up.  Walk the walk.  Eat that crow.

Because the bottom line here is that you aren’t fooling anyone ANYMORE with pretty words geared towards whatever adoring crowds you hand-pick.  This country and those of us who live in it are actually PAYING ATTENTION to what you and your party are saying and doing.

You can’t shuck and jive us with magic tricks meant to sheild us from mushroom clouds with mere duct tape and plastic sheeting.

We can no longer be distracted from your true hate of free-thinking Americans by dangling something shiny in front of us.

(this goes double for the Democrats now that they have the power)

I’m not asking you to lay kisses on the Obama’s feet.  I AM asking that you show the same respect to a First Family that you insisted on for the previous eight years.

Because those very people to whom you are showing such an utter UN-American disrespect, in fact ARE…

Of The People...

Of The People...

By The People...

By The People...

...and FOR The People

...and FOR The People

Posted in Common Sense, Media Matters, Op-Ed, Our Writings, Politics, Today's Rant | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Stupid CAN Be Contageous

Posted by Daniel on February 27, 2009

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It never fails…if you take care of someone who is sick with some sort of “coughy” ailment, chances are that you’re going to either catch it, or something close to it.

Just after Seth recovers from his battle with Strepp and things seem to be back to normal around the pad…

WHAM!!!

Now I come down with the double whammy of sinus infection and uber-cold-from-hell!!!

And only two days before we are due to drive up into the mountains for some long-overdue snow boarding and skiing.

Figures.

It’s been over a year since either of us has actually touched snow, and now that we get the chance, I turn into Typhoid Mary.

That’s okay.  Seth had assloads of antibiotics left over and I’ve gone down on them like a prostitute on Greek Fleet Night.

I expect to be all better by tomorrow.  I’d better be.  Because Seth has threatened to set my head on fire if I’m not.

Posted in Life, Today's Rant | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

An Ill Little Monkey

Posted by Daniel on February 17, 2009

PhotobucketWoke up this morning to find that Seth was burning up with a temp of just over 101.

This scared the shit out of me, as I kind suck at being a nurse.  My bedside manner consists mainly of yelling at the sick person and force-feeding them juices they hate and medicines that make you retch.

But I got dressed, and drove around trying to find SOMEPLACE open to buy juices, medicine, etc.  That was at 5:30 a.m. and of course no one was open.  Finally had to settle for a convenience store that had something CLOSE to what I was looking for.

Funny thing…usually you are insulted by the prices they charge for things like a pint of OJ ($2.00) at your neighborhood convenience store.  But when a loved one is sick and there are no stores open for an emergency supply run, you tend to forget cost in what you see as an effort to avoid a trip to an emergency room.

Anyway, I’m at work now (about thirty feet from my front door) and I’ve instructed him to take his temp every hour and keep drinking his expensive orange juice.  I also told him (in my Nurse Ratchet fashion) that he can’t have any coffee and also not to smoke.

Last hour his temp had dropped by two degrees down to 99.3.

Will keep folks posted on his progress.

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After an hourly temperature reading of 101.1 since early this morning, the latest reading (at 3:00 p.m.) was 98.5.  I can’t promise that he is out of the woods just yet, but it sure is a good sign.  A friend of ours who is a nurse has been texting me some valuable info.  Thanks Mary!!!

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

My Night With George

Posted by Daniel on February 16, 2009

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There are plenty of reasons why I’ve been avoiding writing here lately, but none of them even come close to being a good excuse.  I’ve just been plain lazy.

As a sidenote, I’ve noticed how many of the folks I met years ago in the blooger world no longer seem to post or have deleted their blogs altogether.  Most of them just got tired of it or found they no longer had time for writing.  I think that’s a shame, and I miss them.

I suppose it’s been because both work and setting up a new life here in California have kept me pretty preoccupied.  I’m still trying to find a way to live, work and post…without losing my mind.

Bear with me on all of that.

Anyway, I wanted to share the story of this past weekend with you all.  It won’t sound all that exciting, but I just want to jot it down for the sake of posterity.

Last Friday, our friends Cole and Shane invited us to dinner and a movie.  We had reservations at 7:00 and the movie (Underworld – The Beginning) started at 8:45.  First of all, the restaurant was packed and when we finally got to our table, the service was slow.  The food, when we finally got it at 8:00, was good.  And at those prices, they were lucky for that.  ‘Cause these days splurging for what turns out to be crap can make want to cut someone.  😉

We got to the movie and found the last four seats in that packed theater just in time for the opening credits.

I hate being rushed like that…and I especially hate missing the previews.  I’m funny that way.

Also, the movie itself was SO not worth the hype.  And I say this as an ardent fan of the Underworld franchise.

Saturday was a bit more rewarding.  While at work arguing with my boss about how ridiculous it was for me to even be in the office ON Saturdays (which is an ongoing issue between us), I got a text from Cole and Shane asking if Seth and I wanted to join them on a trip up north to Sacramento for an overnight stay, which was to include bar hopping.  Now, even though I don’t really drink (seriously, 2 beers and I switch to drinking Coke or bottled water), this sounded like a lot of fun.  It had been a long time since I’d been up to SAC.

I still wasn’t sure though if we were going to go, so I told Seth to decide and I’d go along either way.

Naturally he decided that we were going to go, mostly because he said we both needed and deserved the break.  Who am I to argue with such sage logic?

So we pack up an overnight bag with the essential multi-wardrobe changes; make sure Kitty is well stocked with his favorite filtered water, food, toys, TV and treats and kissed him goodbye, then dr0ve North to Madera to carpool with the guys up to SAC.

We get there about 3 hours later and arrive at the hotel.  First I got Seth and I a room (for $150), then realized we would actually be staying in C&S’s suite.  Good thing, too.  I was shocked and pissed at being charged that much for a room at the Marriott that had NO frills, two plain beds and an empty courtesy bar.  And I won’t even mention what we WOULD have seen had we used the blacklight!!!

Just as we were all getting ready to go out to meet our other friends who were already in town, Shane and I discovered neither of us had brought any gum.  Very odd occurrence, as I usually have a pack of “5” holstered to my hip no matter where I go.

I go downstairs to see if the little store in the lobby had any gum.  Nope, Nada, Zip.  The counter person told me they don’t sell gum because it always ends up in the beds or on the floors.  (shit…if THAT’S what they were worried about having in the beds and on the floors…?!?!?!?!?!)  They DID, however, sell bubble gum…as in a 5-pack of gumballs.  I suppose they don’t think any damage can be done from this inedible shit.

When I buy this crap and bring it upstairs to Shane, he says, “Fuck it…gum is gum.”

Big mistake.

He begins chewing a piece (picture the common manatee grazing on the ocean floor) and just as it’s getting soft-ish, it begins sticking to his teeth in what he shows as the grossest display of gum next to getting it stuck in your hair.  Seriously, he was picking that shit out of his horse teeth all night.

I got my money’s worth out of just the entertainment of that, I must admit.

Anyway, we went to four bars that night and they were all packed!!!  Not to mention I paid a total of $30 in cover charges, which really sucked, as I think cover charges are a rip-off.

Plus, I’ve never seen so much broken glass in bars in my life!!  Honestly, the bars were fun and nice, but there must have been a busload of real limp-wristers out that night who just couldn’t hold their glasses.  How we walked around without a single laceration between the 10 of us was beyond me.

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I remember at one bar – while Seth was being pulled out onto a dance floor by Mike and the rest of the hags – ragging with Shane on some of the, shall we say “decoratively dressed” folks out that night.  Shane is pretty cool to hang out with because he reminds me so much of my friend Ray back in KC (accept Shane looks more like Sasquatch and has far more chins).  Full of the one-liners and catty talk that I so live for.

At one point Shane was trying to point out some nice looking (I won’t use the language he used) person dancing on a podium.  What struck me was how much of an effort he (Shane) was making to puff up and look all “available” and “attractive”.  UNTIL he discovered a previously missed chunk of bubble gum wedged in the cavity now festering in one of his back molars, and then (still while trying to look pretty for the go-go dancer) proceeded to try scooping it out with his tweezer-like fingers.  It looked like pulling a wad of Silly Putty out of a Leggo.

Seth and I had a lot of fun, mostly ragging on how OVER-packed the bars were (seriously, to the point of being fire hazards!!!), how OVER-priced the drinks were (considering how weak they were), and how OVER-weight the women there were.  Sure, many were so-called “drag queens”, and that’s to be expected.  But far many more were just huge females.  One we saw (and I mean it when I say that I’m not trying to be cruel here) HAD to weigh 350-400 lbs and was poured into what appeared to be a cut-apart cocktail dress…cut up to the Wa-Hoo.  She looked like a gigantic  chocolate-covered bloody marshmallow.

We would have taken a picture of her, but well…(insert punchline here)…

Moving on…

At some point, Seth needs a spotter/guardian for a trip to the restroom.   Since I felt the same “nature’s call”, we went.  I can’t remember what bar this particular restroom was in, but I CAN tell you it was the creepiest part of the night…and that’s saying something considering some of the freaky people we saw thus far.

While we are standing in front the “facilities”, I happen to notice (through the mirror I’m standing next to) that there is someone looking over our shoulders…watching each of us tinkle.  Being tired by that time, my glasses were serving no better purpose than to make me look all squinty-eyed and tired.

So I do what I would ordinarily do in this type of pee-pee peeping tom situation…I began yelling at the pervert.  Just as I finished my business, washed and dried my hands, I turned to face our sinister stalker.

That’s when I noticed…

That’s when it hit me….

That’s when I wanted a do-over…

The person trying to get a gander of our goodies was NONE OTHER than George Michael.

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Yes, and the irony wasn’t lost on either Seth or myself.  Curious George was, again, spotted in a men’s room doing what he does best.  Trying to catch a gander of a stranger’s goodies.

Actually, it wasn’t George in the flesh (so to speak), but rather a very large picture of him hanging on the wall opposite the urinals.

This picture…

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I don’t know about you, but I found this to be a little intimidating.  I mean to realize that (even through a picture) George Michael is in the same restroom sizing you up with a look that screams “Official Pecker Checker“.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t some huge newsworthy ordeal…being checked out by a picture.  But it just seemed funny and a little ironic to me is all.

Besides, it really put a nice cap on what turned out to be our first outing away from Fresno in a couple of months.

I told you, not very exciting…but I’ll bet George would have been thrilled had he been there in person.

Posted in Celebrities, Friends, GLBT, Just For Fun, Life, Our Writings | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

More Shit You Didn’t Know

Posted by Daniel on February 13, 2009

Sessame Street

Like a lot of people, I grew up on Sesame Street and the Muppets. But did you ever stop to wonder where they came from?

Some of the characters we know and love were recycled from other TV shows and commercials Jim Henson worked on, while others were invented by using whatever materials were around.

Be prepared for a little nostalgia, and I hope I didn’t leave out your favorite — not all of the characters have interesting background stories (sorry, Big Bird).

1. Cookie Monster: Jim Henson drew some monsters eating various snacks for a General Foods commercial in 1966. The commercial was never used, but Henson recycled one of the monsters (the “Wheel-Stealer”) for an IBM training video in 1967 and again for a Fritos commercial in 1969. By that time, he had started working on Sesame Street and decided this monster would have a home there.

2. Elmo: The way it’s described by a Sesame Street writer, apparently this extra red puppet was just lying around. People would try to do something with him, but nothing really panned out. In 1984, puppeteer Kevin Clash picked up the red puppet and started doing the voice and the personality and it clicked — thus, Elmo was born.

3. Telly Monster was originally the Television Monster when he debuted in 1979. He was obsessed with TV and his eves would whirl around as if hypnotized whenever he was in front of a set. After a while, producers started worrying about his influence on youngsters, so they changed him to make him the chronic worrier he is now.

4. Count von Count made his first appearance in 1972 and was made out of an Anything Muppet pattern — a blank Muppet head that could have features added to it to make various characters. He used to be more sinister — he was able to hypnotize and stun people and he laughed in typical scary-villain-type fashion after completing a count of something and thunder and lightning would occur.

He was quickly made more appealing to little kids, though. He is apparently quite the ladies’ man — he has been linked to Countess von Backward, who loves to count backward; Countess Dahling von Dahling and Lady Two.

5. Kermit was “born” in 1955 and first showed up on “Sam and Friends,” a five-minute puppet show by Jim Henson. The first Kermit was made out of Henson’s mom’s coat and some ping pong balls. At the time, he was more lizard-like than frog-like. By the time he showed up on Sesame Street in 1969, though, he had made the transition to frog. There are rumors that he got the name Kermit from a childhood friend of Henson’s or a puppeteer from the early days of the Muppets, but Henson always refuted both of those rumors.

6. Real Swedish Chef Lars “Kuprik” Bäckman claims he was the inspiration for the Swedish Chef. He was on “Good Morning America,” he says, and caught Jim Henson’s eye. Henson supposedly bought the rights to the show’s recording and created the Swedish Chef (who DOES have a real name, but it’s not understandable). One of the Muppet writers, Jerry Juhl, says that in all of the years of working with Jim Henson on the Swedish Chef, he never heard that the character was based on a real person.

7. Animal: The Who’s Keith Moon may have inspired everyone’s favorite member of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. This is speculation, but people who support the theory will point out that Jim Henson named one of the Fraggle Rock characters “Wembley,” which is the town where Moon was born.

8. Miss Piggy is apparently from Iowa. She started as a minor character on “The Muppet Show,” but anyone who knows Miss Piggy can see that she wouldn’t settle for anything “minor.” Her first TV appearance was actually on an Herb Alpert special. It wasn’t until 1976, when “The Muppet Show” premiered, that she became the glamorous blonde with a penchant for frog that we know and love today. Frank Oz once said that Miss Piggy grew up in Iowa; her dad died when she was young and her mother was mean. She had to enter beauty contests to make money.

9. Rowlf the Dog, surprise, surprise, was first made in 1962 for a series of Purina Dog Chow commercials. He went on to claim fame as Jimmy Dean’s sidekick on The Jimmy Dean Show and was on every single episode from 1963 to 1966. Jimmy Dean said Rowlf got about 2,000 letters from fans every week. He was considered for Sesame Street but ended up becoming a regular on “The Muppet Show” in 1976.

10. Oscar the Grouch is performed by the same guy who does Big Bird, Carroll Spinney. Spinney said he based Oscar’s cranky voice on a particular New York cab driver he once had the pleasure of riding with. He was originally an alarming shade of orange. In Pakistan, his name is Akhtar and he lives in an oil barrel. In Turkey, he is Kirpik and lives in a basket. And in Israel, it’s not Oscar at all — it’s his cousin, Moishe Oofnik, who lives in an old car.

11. Gonzo: What exactly is Gonzo? Nobody knows. Even Jim Henson had no particular species in mind. Over the course of “The Muppet Show,” “Muppet Babies” and various Muppet movies, Gonzo has been referred to as a “Whatever”, a “Weirdo” and an alien. Whatever he is, he first appeared on the scene in 1970’s The Great Santa Claus Switch. His name was Snarl the Cigar Box Frackle. In 1974, he showed up on a TV special for Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass. He became Gonzo the Great by the first season of The Muppet Show and developed his thing for Camilla the Chicken almost accidentally: During one episode where chickens were auditioning for the show, puppeteer Dave Goelz ad-libbed, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you… nice legs, though!” It was decided then and there that Gonzo would have a bizarre romantic interest in chickens.

12. You have to love Statler and Waldorf. I couldn’t find much on their particular inspiration, but I can tell you that they’ve been around since the 1975 “Muppet Show” pilot. They are named after popular New York City hotels (the Statler Hotel was renamed the Hotel Pennsylvania in 1992.) Guess what Waldorf’s wife name is? Yep… Astoria (she looks startlingly like Statler.) FYI, Waldorf is the one with the mustache and white hair. Statler has the grey hair. Apparently Waldorf has had a pacemaker for more than 30 years.

13. Beaker: I always thought of Beaker and his buddy Bunsen Honeydew as characters that came along later in the Muppet timeline, but they have been around since the “The Muppet Show.” Although Beaker usually says things along the lines of, “Mee-mee-mee-mee!”, he has had a few actual lines: “Sadly temporary,” “Bye-Bye” and “Make-up ready!” Despite being word-challenged, he manages to do a pretty convincing Little Richard impression and, surprisingly, had mad beatbox skills. Beaker is one of the only Muppets that was never recycled from some other purpose — he was created solely for “The Muppet Show.”

14. Fozzie Bear. Poor Fozzie. He’s the perpetual target of Statler and Waldorf because of his horrible jokes and puns. It actually created a bit of a problem during the first season of The Muppet Show, because when Fozzie got heckled, he got very upset and sometimes cried. Viewers didn’t feel sympathy; they felt embarrassed. The problem was solved by making Fozzie an optimist so that even when he got heckled he was good-natured about it. It’s often thought that he was named after Frank Oz, who was his puppeteer, but Frank said it’s just a variant of “fuzzy bear.” Yet another story says he was named for his builder, Faz Fazakas. Wocka wocka!!

15. Bert and Ernie are the Muppet version of Felix and Oscar (“The Odd Couple,” for you young’uns). Lots of people think Bert and Ernie were named for some minor characters in It’s A Wonderful Life, but according to the Henson company, that’s just a rumor. Jim Henson always maintained that it was just a coincidence — the names just went well together and seemed to fit the characters. Jerry Juhl, one of the head writers, corroborated this and said that Jim Henson had no memory for details like that and would have never remembered the name of the cop and the taxi cab driver in the old Jimmy Stewart movie.

Other rumors to clear up: Bert and Ernie aren’t gay and neither one of them are dead. Now that we’ve got that straightened out, here are a few more tidbits: the original Ernie used to have a gravelly voice similar to Rowlf the Dog’s. Frank Oz was Bert’s puppeteer and hated him at the beginning. He thought Bert was ridiculously boring, but then realized that he could have a lot of fun with being boring. Jim Henson once said, “I remember trying Bert and Frank tried Ernie for a while. I can’t imagine doing Bert now, because Bert has become so much of a part of Frank.”

16. Grover: Everyone’s favorite “cute, furry little monster” made his TV debut on the “Ed Sullivan Show” in 1967. At the time, he was known as “Gleep” and was a monster in Santa’s Workshop. He then appeared on the first season of Sesame Street, but sported green fur and a reddish-orange nose. He didn’t have a name then, but by the second season he transformed into the Grover we know today, more or less — electric blue fur and a pink nose. The original green Grover was reincarnated as Grover’s Mommy for a few episodes. In Latin America and Puerto Rico Grover is known as Archibaldo, in Spain he is Coco, in Portugal he is Gualter and in Norway he is Gunnar.

17. Sweetums is one of a handful of full-body Muppets. He showed up in 1971 on the TV special “The Frog Prince.” This is where he got his name — when Sir Robin the Brave is about to defeat the ogre, a witch shows up and changes him into a frog (who later becomes Robin, Kermit’s nephew). Apparently smitten with the ogre, the witch tells her darling “Sweetums” that he can have the frog for breakfast.

Bigger fame awaited Sweetums, though — in 1975, he appeared on Cher’s variety show to do a duet with her to “That Old Black Magic”. He officially joined “The Muppet Show” cast in 1976.

18. Rizzo the Rat might sound familiar to you, especially if you’ve seen “Midnight Cowboy” — he is named for Dustin Hoffman’s character, Ratso Rizzo. He was created after puppeteer Steve Whitmire was inspired by rat puppets made from bottles. He first showed up on “The Muppet Show” as one of a group of rats following Christopher Reeve around — he’s easy to spot because he hams it up more than any of the other rats. He occasionally performs with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

19. Pepe the King Prawn’s full name is Pepino Rodrigo Serrano Gonzales. I heart Pepe. He was a chef in Madrid before going Hollywood on “Muppets Tonight” in 1996. He was paired with Seymour the Elephant (Pepe was originally going to be a mouse) on the show, but Seymour never developed quite the same following and was only in two episodes. He rarely gets names right — some of his mispronunciations include “muffins” instead of Muppets, “Kermin” instead of Kermit and “Scooper” instead of Scooter. He’s quite full of himself — in addition to thinking that he’s quite the ladies’ man, he also fully expects to win several Oscars.

20. Herry Monster from Sesame Street was the Big Bad Wolf in his original incarnation, which you can kind of tell by looking at his fur. It’s pretty wolf-like (if wolves were blue, I mean). He became a Sesame monster in 1970 to replace the Beautiful Day Monster, who looked kind of like Sam the Eagle and existed to cause destruction wherever he went, thus ruining the beautiful day people had been having before he showed up. Herry used to have a furry nose but got upgraded to his non-furry, purple nose in 1971.

THAT WAT THEN…THIS IS NOW…

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Posted in Just For Fun, Life | Leave a Comment »

Antisocial Networking

Posted by Daniel on February 5, 2009

I recently joined Facebook (yeah, I know) because several people I went to school with recommended it as a place to catch up on old times. Sounded good…but then…

that viral thing facebook 25 random things about

A girl I knew in high school has memorized all of Janet Jackson’s dance routines. Another acquaintance is afraid of train whistles. Five separate people harbor lifelong desires to visit New Zealand. How do I know these things? Because they won’t stop writing about them on Facebook!

And I thought MySpace was getting mundane!!!

Facebook’s ’25 Things About Me’ meme seems harmless enough: people write 25 facts about themselves and then post them to their Facebook pages, just as they do with videos, status updates and photos of last weekend’s party. An estimated 5 million notes — that’s 125 million facts — have appeared on the website within the past week. Assuming it takes someone 10 minutes to come up with the list, this recent bout of viral narcissism has sent roughly 800,000 hours of work time productivity down the drain.

But it’s just so stupid. Most people aren’t funny, they aren’t insightful, and they share way too much. Facebook is a loose social network; a “friend” on Facebook might translate to someone you’d barely recognize in real life. I don’t care that my college roommate’s sister is anemic or that my step-cousin’s boyfriend gets nervous around old people (apparently he’s afraid they’re going to die).

Below are 25 facts I wish people hadn’t told me about themselves. They come from from friends, friends-of-friends, friends-of-friends-of-friends and coworkers. They are all real, although I wish some of them were not.

1. I eat tacos with a fork.
2. I was fat in middle school. The wake of that horror has yet to subside.
3. I keep forgetting that Barack Obama is our President.
4. I have been pooped on by a monkey.
5. I am addicted to the ass-slap dance move. Sometimes don’t even notice I’m doing it.
6. When I finally told my now fiancé that I liked him (as in, liked him liked him), I drunkenly gave him the Anchorman line, “I want to be on you.” He had only seen the movie once and had no idea what it was from.
7. Just because I realize that Asian women are smarter, more attractive, and have about themselves a generally superior level of class does not mean I have a fetish. Just that I’m racist.
8. I eat gummy bears by tearing them limb from limb and eating their heads last.
9. I can’t grow hair on my arms.
10. Two of my best friends are under five feet tall and I have an intense fear of midgets.
11. I think yoga is incredibly spiritual. I know the Lord is with me in my downward dog.
12. I was born with jaundice.
13. I was born pigeon-toed.
14. I was born with an extra kidney. I wish I could have sold it on the black market and made some money but it was underdeveloped and did nothing but cause me to wet the bed until the third grade.
15. I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur.
16. A horse once fell over while I was riding it.
17. I don’t believe in democracy.
18. I cried when Spock died in Star Trek II.
19. I drink two glasses of wine every night before bed. Wait, did I just admit to alcoholism?
20. If you asked me to tell you my favorite movie, I would have a hard time not saying Titanic.
21. I once sent a teacher into early retirement by pretending to be a cheetah and swiping at her from under a desk.
22. I once ran into New Kids On the Block’s Joey McIntyre in the lobby of an off-Broadway show. I told him he was the first boy I ever loved. He laughed and kind of smiled. This was the most gratifying moment of my life.
23. My friends say that when they shave my back I purr like a walrus.
24. I don’t understand what people see in the Godfather trilogy.
25. Sometimes I think pee smells like Cheerios.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve finally found something more stupid than Twitter.

Posted in Common Sense, Family, Friends, Life, Today's Rant | 2 Comments »