The Tempest Online™

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A Visit From Home

Posted by Seth on March 27, 2009

I have been away from home for nearly two years now. In those two years, I have made three trips home. The third trip, Daniel made the trip to West Virginia last April right before we moved here to Fresno. While living in Kansas City, I only had one visitor. My brother. The only reason why he came out was because he was on a business trip. So, that doesn’t really count. It was merely out of coincidence. Anyway, it has been nearly a year since I have seen anyone from home. (Yeah…it’s been a YEAR here in Fresno!) That record was broke last week. My two best friends came in for a weeks visit! I was so happy!

I’ve known Nicki for about 11 years, and Mary for roughly 14 or 15 years. So, I’ve pretty much grown up with them. They’re a couple gals that I am proud to show off. Mainly because they have no shame and I love them for that.

Nicki is more or less the female version of Chris Farley. She’s hilarious, boisterous, crazy, and makes great faces and voices! But she’s also level headed, smart, and would make a best friend to anyone. Oh, and she hates ghetto kids, which is a HUGE plus!

Mary is…..well…..I guess you could describe her as an anomaly. Picture Meg Griffin from Family Guy. That’s her! Very tragic! But I love her dearly. She has a weird sense of humor that mirrors mine. She’s the type of girl that would cut her throat on a cereal box, have a scar on her arm from a pretzel, and agree to being kidnapped by a stranger who happens to be an old woman. These are actual occurrences I might add. She’s a certified genius, but lacks common sense. She’s a gem!

They were only here for about 5 days. Not NEARLY enough time to do everything there is to do in this state. At least I got to see them though. I was happy with just that.

They arrived last Monday evening. We didn’t do anything but go out to eat and come home to rest. The next day was more fun. It was St. Patrick’s Day as well as our friend Cole’s birthday. We did the usual bar hopping. Finally, after hours of running around, we settled on one bar. Being a special holiday, we felt left out because we didn’t have any S.P.D. bling. So, Daniel proceeded to “borrow” some from other patrons. Which was great! We ended up with 4 necklaces, hideous glasses, a pretty tiara, and a green bottle of beer. He was going to get us a cool goblet type glass, but you couldn’t pry it out of the fat whore’s cold, drunk grip. We did reach our goal though. We got the girls drunk! Well, at least Nicki.
Me, Nicki, Daniel, Mary
Nicki and Mary drunk

After hours of drinking, we made a trip to Jack in the Box, ate, and went to bed.

The next day, I couldn’t figure out what the hell to do and they couldn’t decide on anything. So, I just took them around town and showed them the sights. Well, since it’s Fresno…I showed them the sight. Which is just the Tower District. There are a few cool little shops and restaurants. They bought a few things and that was about it. Later that evening we went to the casino, where we usually just break even. It was a lot of fun, considering Mary had never been to one and Nicki had only been to a dog track. They were impressed by all the machines and how pretty it was.

Seth and Nicki
Mary and Daniel

The next day, we felt like doing something real. We went for a trip up to Sequoia National Park. We were all excited about it. It’s only about an hour away from here. My only concern was snow. I didn’t know if it was closed off, if we were going to be able to do anything, if we should dress warm, if I should take a pill because I get vertigo and the road up there makes me twitch…luckily everything was fine.

On our way up there, Nicki and Mary were taking picture after picture. It is a very scenic drive. There are certain areas that look like Ireland, Tuscany, California, etc. Since the drive there is every vertigo patients worst nightmare, I “drove slow so they could get pictures.”  I’m talking about thousand foot cliffs, being on roads where you can see miles over the mountains, hair-pin turns…yeah…they can take as many pictures as they like! After white-knuckling the steering wheel all the way up to the park, we reach the gate to the park.

YAY! We’re finally here! Big trees, big pine cones, and potential death by a mountain lion! Exciting! Unfortunately, none of it looked familiar. There was a small parking area, a gated off road due to snow, and a road that lead further into the park. I knew that wasn’t the way to go, because Daniel didn’t go that route when we visited before. After about 30 minutes of circling in this parking lot that held about 20 cars, I realized that the closed off part was a road that we had to drive on to get to the good shit. Finally, we found a parking spot and started walking. We didn’t realize though, that it’s two miles to the recreation area. So, we got some walking stick from some fellow park patrons and started tracking two miles in about 1 1/2 feet of snow. Luckily it was about 60 degrees. So the snow was only keeping us cooled down. Mary even got a sun burn!

About an hour into the hike, we finally made it! BIG TREES! YAY! Unfortunately, due to Nicki and my long strides, Mary’s legs just couldn’t handle it anymore. Right as soon as we got to the park, Mary screamed at us, because we were about 200 feet in front of her, “I’M DONE!!!” So, she had it. She sat down on a fence and rested while Nicki and I left to retrieve cones. After an hour of tracking through two feet of snow,  fighting off bugs, and falling down multiple times, we found big cones and left. The trip back down the hill was much easier and faster. Unfortunately for Mary, she has no balancing skills. So, she was entertaining to watch.

Taking pictures of a babbling brook while I get a shot of Mary's babbling butt crack Guards of Hell's Gate
Nicki tracking through the snow Mary at her best

On our way home, we stopped at a couple stores looking for souvenirs and trinkets, but was unsuccessful. We just found crap. At least we got some big ass pine cones! We got back that evening tired, warn out, and exhausted.

The next day was quite a battle. The girls really wanted to go to Hollywood. I did too. I’ve never been there. The only problem was Daniel’s schedule. This entire time they were here, Daniel didn’t really get to spend any time with them. They thought it sucked, I thought it sucked, and Daniel was especially upset about it. It was no fault of his. His boss is a complete PRICK! He is a disgusting piece of shit old man with no reasoning or logic skills, who finds it necessary to fuck things up and lay the blame on everyone around him. He treats Daniel like shit and I’ve had it! His boss knew we had friends in, and made his work days harder just so he couldn’t spend any time with us. This is the type of man he is. He’s completely crazy! Of course Daniel has to play nice guy and take the bull shit that gets thrown at him, because we’re in a precarious situation. I don’t blame Daniel one bit. He’s playing it as smart as he can.

Anyway, after a little tiff between Daniel and me, and a little phone call to his boss about a “doctors appointment” Friday morning, we were well on our way to L.A. It is a 4 hour drive to L.A. from here, and in that time Daniel received a few forwarded calls from new tenants and his boss. He handled them very well, and even rented a couple of apartments while driving! Now how good of a fucking employee is that?!

We finally made it to Hollywood and started doing the touristy stuff. We visited Grauman’s Chinese Theater, Hollywood Walk of Fame, Capitol Records, and the Hollywood sign. I know there are a ton more things to do, but we got a late start. Everything is right there together, so that made it easy. Except the Hollywood sign itself. Since we had no clue where we were going, we had to take a picture of a tourist route map to find out way. It turns out it showed a road that led to an observatory in a park overlooking the city. Blah blah blah. After we figured out that we were lost, we turned around and came back into civilization. We asked a cop where we could find the best road to the sign and he was nice about it. He gave us directions and sent us on our way. We found the road, which was actually just about 10 minutes away from where we originally turned, and found it! So, we drove through a cute neighborhood to get as close to the sign as we could. Lucky for us, it was damn close! It made the girls happy, so we were happy.

Mary and Harry Potter at Grauman's Nicki and Harry Potter at Grauman's

Daniel and the sign Seth and the sign

Me, Mary, and Nicki enjoying the viewNicki got a little sleepy on the way there

Their last day in Fresno was sad. I didn’t want them to go home. I was trying my hardest to convince Nicki to quit her job and stay with us, and Mary to leave her husband (or bring him back here) and stay here. I miss my friends so much. It was so good to see them. I just hate it that they’re 3000 miles away. Hopefully we can look forward to more visits from friends or to friends this year. It did me a world of good to see them. They needed it and so did I.

Nicki saying goodbye to her new friend, Kitty! Mary "broke" the bed when she was packing

Saddness....just before their flight

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7 Responses to “A Visit From Home”

  1. Kirk said

    Need I remind you that standing so close to the giant trees is forbidden because it damages their roots??!! No lie! Those giant trees have extremely shallow roots in the soil that covers the bedrock that has protected them for centuries… as a result, visitors are NOT allowed to stand next to nor ON the trees as it harms the tree and endangers it. I would think Fresno residents such as yourself would have learned this by now. If not, there are plenty of uniformed park rangers who will remind you constantly to STAY ON THE PATH! (Do I sound bitter? No, just a vivid memory of our visit to the park 20 years ago!)

    • Seth said

      Well…sorry to hear about your experience, but that didn’t happen to us. There are actually no signs saying that about the roots and not to get close to the trees. However, there are signs that say stay on the path. You would think the rangers would take into consideration the road, the one next to the tree in the picture, is less than 5 feet away from the tree.

      • Kirk said

        You’re right, Seth. They can’t move the roadway, and so, they tend to accept one sacrifical tree. You’re lucky Mr. Nasty, the ranger didn’t come yell at you. As a 8 year old kid, I’ll never forget my traumatizing event….

  2. Seth said

    Yeah, I left out a few things. There were so many details, you kinda have to expect that I would leave something out. You can write a post about the things I forgot if ya like!

  3. Daniel said

    Ohhh…what a sweet post. Although you forgot to mention Mary stepping in the same pile of Kitty Pooh…TWICE!! Not to mention all the farts and burps those classy gals had. I will miss them.

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