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Archive for April, 2009

The Lovers of Hate Crimes

Posted by Daniel on April 30, 2009

As the House of Representatives debated an expansion of hate crimes legislation, Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.) took the rhetoric to a new level, claiming that those who say Matthew Shepard was murdered in Wyoming for being gay are perpetrating a “hoax” on the American people.

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By the way…is it just me or does this broad look an awful lot like the self-hating homo on Will & Grace…Beverly Leslie???
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Just a thought…

“I also would like to point out that there was a bill — the hate crimes bill that’s called the Matthew Shepard bill is named after a very unfortunate incident that happened where a young man was killed, but we know that that young man was killed in the commitment of a robbery. It wasn’t because he was gay. This — the bill was named for him, hate crimes bill was named for him, but it’s really a hoax that that continues to be used as an excuse for passing these bills,” said Foxx.

A Foxx spokesman didn’t immediately return any calls from the media. The Matthew Shepard “hoax” notion is a popular meme on right-wing blogs.

The Matthew Shepard Foundation is dedicated to reducing hate crimes.

The New York Times reported in 1998: “According to the local police and prosecutors, the two men lured Mr. Shepard out of a bar by saying they were gay. Then, the Laramie police say, the pair kidnapped Mr. Shepard, pistol-whipped him with a .357 Magnum, and left him tied to a ranch fence for 18 hours until a passing bicyclist spotted Mr. Shepard, who was unconscious.”

“She should be ashamed,” said Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), himself a victim of a hate crime during the struggle for civil rights. “That is unreal, unbelievable. The law enforcement people and almost every reasonable person I know believes he was murdered because he was gay.”

UPDATE: Matthew Shepard’s mother was in the gallery when Foxx aired her theory.

“Matthew Shepard’s mother was in the gallery yesterday and I believe she was back today — so I’m sorry she had to be around to hear it,” Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Tenn.) said. “It’s an urban myth… And I’d tell her that man did land on the moon and the moon wasn’t made out of green cheese.”

We have uploaded the video of Foxx’s statement. WATCH:

Another example of the twisted lies and homophobia in this blessed land of ours is the following.  A prime example of a phobia as well as pandering.

Congressman-CW-Bill-Yung

A friend of mine wrote to C.W. Bill Young regarding a pending federal hate crimes bill (H.R.  1913 AKA The Mathew Shephard Act) that would expand the 1969 federal hate-crime law to include crimes motivated by the victim’s actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability. I’ve posted the Congressman’s response in its entirety after the jump. I found it offensive both intellectually and morally.

Another pandering lying homophobe.

Another pandering lying homophobe.

Congressman Young explains that he does not support the Mathew Shepard Act because under such  a law “criminals who kill a homosexual, transvestite or transsexual could be punished more harshly than criminals who kill a police officer, a member of the military or any other person.” “I fundamentally believe, ” he continues, ”that we should instead value all life equally.”

While the Congressman purports to be making an Equal Protection argument, his juxtaposition of “homosexual, transvestite or transsexual” with “police officer, a member of the military or any other person” belies the real logic at work here. This is an appeal to homphobia, plain and simple. Dressing it up in a tenuous Constitutional argument doesn’t make it any more acceptable.

If you’d like to contact Congressman Young and give him a few valid reasons to support or not support it, you can reach him at (202) 225-5961.

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Posted in Common Sense, GLBT, Media Matters, News, Op-Ed, Our Writings, Politics, Religion, Today's Rant | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

My Intensions Were Purely Accidental

Posted by Daniel on April 29, 2009

The following will, I’m sure, illicit some very snarky comments…but hey, I can take it.

Yesterday, Seth and I were doing what we always do…goofing around.  This during my lunch break.  Well, I sort of gave him a boo boo.

Now, before I go into detail, keep in mind we always play like dumb-asses and act like we’re going to throw something at each other.  Kinda like a toddler will be laughing at you for playing Peek-A-Boo, and just when the kid seems to be at his/her most precious, during all the joyous giggly laughing and jiggling, the kid grabs a nearby heavy object and whacks you in the face with it.  All the while still laughing joyously.

That’s kinda how we play.  Granted we never actually hit one another with anything, but it’s always funny to see the others reaction based on what object we grab from a table.

Anyways, we are yucking it up yesterday and, during our giddy stupidity, I grabbed a lighter off the counter and “acted” like I was going to throw it at him…

…you know…just for laughs!!!

Well, much to BOTH our surprise, where I thought I was going to throw it down on the floor (you know, comically), it actually flew out of my hand, across the room, bounced OFF the (overly cushy, in my opinion) sofa back and beaned him right on the forehead.

It even made a little “snap” sound when it made contact.

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You can imagine BOTH our surprise.

(well, mostly his)

I immediately ran over to him and apologized and checked for bleeding or bruising.  (it’d be my luck he’d press charges…just for even MORE laughs!!!)

As a side note…it proved me wrong about his being so young that he still has soft spots on his skull.

Luckily, it was just the faintest of little red marks.  However I did notice for the next ten minutes there was a slight whelt as well.

As is usually the case when we go a little too far, we milk it for all it’s worth.  Seth spent the rest of the afternoon sniffling and dodging me as though I were going to take a whack at him.

Honestly, the little fucker…I mean darling…even tried walking with a limp!!!

I was shocked when I got home from work later and he WASN’T wearing a cast on his leg and a neck brace sitting in a wheel chair with an I.V. drip and heart monitor.

Yeah…that’s how much we love playing it up.  It’s called laughter…give it a try.

This is how things work around us.  I now no longer care WHO thinks we weren’t made for one another…not a day goes by that doesn’t include laughter.  Not one.

Granted the circumstances are, at times, a tad on the oddball side…but isn’t that one of the things you look for in life?  I know we do.

It just goes to show that even little accidents…(and Seth now agrees that it WAS an accident…DON’T YOU, SETH?!?!?!?!)…can make life a little more interesting.

Of course there is still that bit about how we tend to stretch out the “drama-dy”.  Seth is still beating that dead horse.

Horse Beating Dead

Posted in Just For Fun, Life, Our Writings | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

An Idol Falls

Posted by Daniel on April 27, 2009

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Okay, so Seth and I have kinda been in mourning since Saturday.

You’ve already heard, no doubt, but this is just my little addition to the tributes in writing to a great lady.

Bea Arthur is someone whom I’ve idolized for a great deal of my life.  Not only that, but I’ve often been compared to her in the way my personality and desert-dry and ultra-fast wit matches hers.

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I remember watching Maude when I was very young(ish) and was immediately bowled over by her fast one-liners and snappy retorts.  Only later in life did I perfect my own version of the same shitty attitude.

While it’s true that Seth thinks I more emmulate (and resemble) Estelle Getty’s character of Sophia Patrillo, I’d like to think I got my smart-assed start from the one who would eventually play her daughter.

We will truly miss you, Beatrice Arthur.

Thank you for being a friend.

You were truly a class act.

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Posted in Celebrities, Life, Media Matters, News | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

Pull My Finger–The Joy of a Colonoscopy

Posted by Daniel on April 24, 2009

A couple years ago I was in the hospital, and the doctors were stumped. I still had the same symptoms that I came in with, and my insurance was nearly expired. This called for drastic measures. And what could be more drastic than sticking a snake-like Kodak up my butt?

Allow me to walk you through a Colonoscopy in case you have yet to experience the joys of one.

No solid food for 24 hours. Not a major deal breaker, just slightly uncomfortable, but since it is necessary to drink a gallon of this pineapple tasting glop, hunger is the least of one’s problems. The real problem? The need to evacuate everything ever eaten.

I suddenly remembered that crayon I ate in second grade. That came out. Cheeseburger remains from a picnic July 4th, 1995–whoosh.

Then after spending a nightmarish couple of bowl-filling hours on the porcelain throne comes another thrilling part…

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“…it’s enema time, Poodle.”  You know, just in case there is the tiniest bit of “stuff” still in the body….like food, cells, blood, DNA, etc.

(I absolutely LOATHE fake endearment from male nurses who are about to recreate my past alien abduction experience of probing)
Then comes the test itself. First, no need to study. The doctor put me to sleep. It was great, but then came my favorite part. When I woke up, I had uncontrollable gas. And the nelly nurse encouraged me to let ‘er rip.

After a lifetime of smothering “toots” in front of women, men, children and my dog, here was some guy not only encouraging it, but congratulating me for it. Telling me it was ok, even a good thing.

And it doesn’t get any better than that.

Posted in Life | Tagged: , , | 5 Comments »

A Perfect Earth Day

Posted by Daniel on April 20, 2009

Happy Earth Day
You’re perfect. But you could improve.

Paradoxical? Strange? True? Yes, yes and more yes.

In this moment, you are exactly as you need to be. Because, in this moment, the universe is exactly as it needs to be. That includes the butterflies, the daisies and the hope and the joy. But it also includes the hate, the violence and the death and destruction.

I live in California. My boyfriend lives with me. When we’re together, we often take each other for granted. When we’re apart, we’re able to gain a more complete perspective – and, once we reunite, we have a renewed appreciation and understanding. In the same way, hate can reaffirm the importance of love, violence can reaffirm the necessity of peace and death and destruction can teach us valuable lessons about living to the fullest.

I believe that the challenges of humanity can evolve the collective consciousness of mankind.

This world is perfect in the sense that this moment – like all moments – is exactly as it needs to be. But we can certainly improve upon our future moments by working to create a more loving and peaceful planet.

And, of course, you are also perfect. You are exactly as you need to be, right now. But there’s certainly room to grow even more love in your heart and to cultivate the radiant spirit that shines through you like 10,000 suns.

Shine, baby, shine.

Posted in Common Sense, Life, Our Writings | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

I Love Interviews

Posted by Daniel on April 17, 2009

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This morning there was another request in my email to do another online interview.  Being the ever-so-shy and modest attention dodger that I am (yeah, I know), I pounced on it quicker than Madonna on a baby Malawian.

What kind of cereal do you roll with? What does it say about you?

Right now I have Lucky Charms and store-brand Raisin Bran and “Honey Crunchin’ Oats”. I think it says that I’m magically delicious and cheap.

If you had 24 hours to live, would you do anything differently?

Yes. I’d spend time in the company of family, friends and greasy food.

Do you have any pet peeves?

Do I ever! Sniffling and loud gum-chewing are at the top of my list.

Are you afraid of the dark?

Are you asking this question because I sleep with a night light? I just don’t want to trip if I need to pee during the night. Plus, the light keeps the ghosts away.

What makes life worth living?

Seth, and the wonderful adventures and lessons we experience each day.

What is one of the most memorable days of your life?

I don’t really have a great memory. I’d like to say I am always focused on the present moment, but I spend a lot of time living in the future. I have a lot of wonderful memories of eating sandy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with my family at the beach. I’ve always loved the summer.

Do you plan on getting married someday?

Well, I’m not planning on it. But I’m open to it.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes! I totally do – and have experienced one first-hand. Meaning I was once slapped by one when I was sleeping.  On the other hand, it could also have been that Willem Dafoe lives under my bed and might just have been hungry.  I think there is a lot about this world that we don’t yet know or understand.

What is your favorite item to scan using the self checkout at the grocery store?

The scanner at my local grocery store describes whatever it is that you scan. For example, if you scan a tomato, it says “vine ripened tomato.” Recently, I scanned some bangers and it said, “Long, hot… sausage.” I blushed. It’s my favorite grocery store activity.

What is your favorite dance move?

The refrigerator hustle.

If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?

Seth. Oh…and my dog, Kitty. And then my recently-acquired tiara. If I still had time, my computer. And then a bag of Doritos. A life without the internet and snacks is a life not worth living.

What do you wish for?

I wish that I’m able to be open and receptive to whatever the universe is able to throw at me.

Posted in Just For Fun, Life | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Barely A Peep From Easter

Posted by Daniel on April 13, 2009

PhotobucketOkay, so another holiday has come and gone.  And we barley noticed it’s passing.

Easter isn’t one of those holidays that I actually celebrate – well, not in the usual sense, anyway – as I am not a religious person.  As a matter of fact, there are many who would look at how I “celebrate” Easter as being weird, but also somewhat sacrilegious.

Hey, it’s what you make of it, right?

Every year since I met my friends Ray and Scott, it has been my adopted tradition to watch “The Exorcist”.  Not that pussy of a remake…no, the original sphincter tightening version.  That’s a little treat that Ray turned me on to and we watch it for the laughs.

Last year, I made Seth watch it with me, again for the laughs, and then we made a diorama if peeps butchering a marshmallow bunny.  Blood and all.  And who can get through an Easter weekend without catching at least ONE showing of “The Ten Commandments”?  My favorite part is when Moses’ Egyptian mother Bithiah (played by Nina Foch) bangs on a gong, throws the gong hammer and yells, “Fetch my chariot!  I’m going to Goshen!!”  Which is something I would always repeat when someone told me I was needed elsewhere.

This year, however, was a bit different.

Since I only have Sunday’s off each week, we got up a bit late yesterday.  During our coffee time, Seth reminded me that I needed to call my mom.  We usually go over to see her and the family most Sunday’s, and then bring food to my brother who doesn’t so much go there…ever.

Mr Nibbles

So I call Mom, who suddenly breaks into her Catholic gig, “Why do you never call your mother??”  Yikes!!  This is going to take some serious sucking up.  Which means paying her a visit (no matter that I was dead tired from the work week…duty calls), and a subsequent stop for a dozen of the most beautiful roses.  Not red…but amber with burnt sienna ends.  Which almost killed my niece, but that’s another story.

We went over there for Easter lunch and laughs (Thanks Shannon) and then left to do some shopping.

Easter Pole Dance Pictures, Images and Photos

When we got home, there were no peeps.  Oh, we HAD Peeps-A-Plenty a couple of weeks ago, but they were long since scarfed down.  And of course, we put a couple into the microwave just to see what happens.

As a side note, if you ever nuke a Peep, do it on a paper plate because what is left after cooling is an immovable and disgusting stain of burnt sugar…with two pathetic little eyes still staring up at you from the carnage.

Anyway, we decided by then that e were still feeling a bit lazy and wanted to do nothing more for the day except be lazy sloths.  You know, watch movies and eat.  Trouble is that the TV that we inherited from my brother had the shittiest picture (either too dark or too light, depending on what you tried to watch) and it was unable to adjust correctly.

So…I figured it was about time we went and got one that we could actually watch without going cross-eyed.

Within one hour, I had gone online, priced and cross-priced many different models, found the one we liked in our price range, gone and bought it, brought it home and set it up.

Then we watched “Milk”.

The end of this post really doesn’t tie the rest of the story together, I know.  But this was pretty much our way of answering the oft-asked question, “How was your Easter?”

Hope yours was all you hoped it would be.

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Posted in Family, Friends, Holiday Fun, Life | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Live Long and Prosper

Posted by Daniel on April 8, 2009

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look!   What is your secret?”

“I smoke ten cigars a day,”  she said.  “Before I go to bed,  I smoke a nice big joint.   Apart from that,  I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week,  and eat only junk food.  On weekends,  I pop pills,  get laid,  and don’t exercise at all.”

“That is absolutely amazing!  How old are you?”

“Thirty-four,”  she replied.

Mama said there'd be days like this...

Mama said there'd be days like this...

Posted in Just For Fun | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Not Bad For A Non-Gambler

Posted by Daniel on April 7, 2009

I’ve lately grown fond of us driving up into the mountains with Shane & Cole to go to the biggo casino.  It’s a long scary drive, but not too bad if I don’t have to do the actual driving.

Since none of us are actually into the whole compulsive gambling thing,   (honestly, I am more into the loud noises and pretty shiny sparkly video effect on both main and upper screens) we all pretty much stick to the one and two cent slot machines.  That is, if we can actually get one.  I swear there are times when you have to practically pry the cold dead hands of some pretty trashy people off of those machines.

This past Sunday after a great day out on the lake getting some MUCH-NEEDED sun, we went back to the casino.

Wizard of Oz Penny SlotThe very first place I b-line it to is the Wizard of Oz penny slot machine.  I love this one because you can play all night on VERY little and yet I’ve been very lucky on it.  All told, out of all the visits up there, I’m ahead on that machine by about $300+.

Then, just when I feel that I’ve got a pretty good groove going on with Dorothy, this casino goes and puts in a new set of machines.  First there is now a different version of the Dorothy machines, and also a new set of Star Trek ones as well.

First off, I have yet to get to play the new Dorothy machines, because they are always busy.  This past Sunday, I decided to wait it out next to them for the next available one, then pounce on it like Oprah at a buffet.  There are only four of these lined up and some white trash couple were playing three of them.  seriously, the skanky girl was playing one and had her leg up on the chair of the one next to her and she would hit the button on that one once every ten minutes.  Just as she lost all of her credits on that one, her body odor-wreaking boyfriend handed her a $20 to put into it.  then she turned to me and smiled big enough to show me all four of her teeth and said, “It looks like you’re going to have to wait a while.”

So I said, “Fuck this.”, and went around the other side of them where Cole and Shane were playing the new Star Trek machines.  As I told them what was happening on the other side of them, the guy playing next to Cole said that I should tell security, as players are not allowed to play on more than one machine at any given time.

Okay, now before I go on, I want it understood that I am NOT normally a buttinsky, but these trashy stinky people were, to be delicate, being complete dickheads.

So I told security, who quickly went to them, saw for themselves what I was saying, and told them they must give up one of the machines or leave.  He also told them that since I was next in line, they had to give me the machine.  Instead, they bitched, then let some other guy who was behind me sit down.

The male half of the trailor house-betting duo looked over at me and said, “Nobody likes a tattle tale, dude.”  Then, for added measure, the toothless wonder (girlfriend) walked over to me and said, “You are such a fuckin’ snitch!!!”

In a way, I felt bad because like I said, I don’t ordinarily go that way, but there was just something about the way they were acting (and smelling) that compelled me to cry to security.

Star Trek slots RULE!!!!

Anyway, having lost any possibility of EVER getting on one of those for the forseeable future, I gave up and waited for a Star Trek machine.  Ten minutes later I was on one and doing so well, that Cole kept cussing me out (they lost $126 on them).

I happened to notice that when you collect a certain number of badges during the game, it changes the entire game for you.  since I liked all the prettier colors of the advanced play, I was hell-bent on getting my 40 badges before I left.  Which I did, after two hours…and still won $100.

So, when the tally was complete, after taking into account cost of drinks and initial bet amounts, we left with $203 more than we arrived with.

Which came in handy, since Seth lost $100 last time there when he mistakenly used a quarter slot machine.

Posted in Friends, Just For Fun | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

So…What Now?

Posted by Daniel on April 2, 2009

PhotobucketLike everyone else, we have our morning rituals.  We get up, have our coffee, yell at Kitty for wanting us to throw the ball at first light, watch some news, talk about stuff, etc.  Then I go to work (the long grueling 30-foot walk to my office is harrowing) and go through another morning ritual.

We are pretty much used to our normal morning routines.  Kitty wakes us up at 6:00 a.m. every morning for his morning romp outside.  Then he insists on getting us to throw his ball in the apartment (by “accidentally” dropping it in either of our laps).  Once in a while we submit, but there are those mornings where neither of us is feeling up to the task.  But Kitty’s tenacity knows no bounds, and even on those mornings when we don’t want to play just yet, we will get frustrated with him and throw the ball as a way to show him we are not in the mood.  As it turns out, Kitty is pretty smart and knows that one way or another, we WILL throw that ball.

Animals must know we’re at our dumbest just before coffee.

Coffee Starbucks Pictures, Images and PhotosSpeaking of coffee, we learned this morning that switching to a different brand (or in our case, a stronger blend of the same brand) isn’t always a good idea.  As of this morning, we both realized that our latest choice has been making BOTH of us nauseous.  We aren’t sure if it’s because we switched over to a MUCH darker blend, or if we just got spoiled on Starbucks.  Either reason, and for the sake of our sensitive tummy’s, we have to fork over the extra duckets for Starbucks.  Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be too frugal on certain things.

There, that’s our contribution in helping to stimulate the economy…our demand for their supply.

You’re Welcome, Starbucks!!!

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