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Archive for May, 2009

There Are 13 Reasons GAY Means Happy

Posted by Daniel on May 28, 2009

Disclaimer:  This is meant as a HUMOR post.  If you are easily offended by what we see as the funny side of the gay stereotype, then please do not read further.

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Oh sure, we can’t get married, we can get fired for no good reason at all and there are angry pastors claiming we’re all going to burn in the eternal pits of damnation (so long as they’re not there, that’s fine, by the way). But if you asked if we could trade being gay for being straight, we’d laugh in your face. Here are 13 ways that being a homo beats the pants off the breeder lifestyle any day of the week.

1. The Sex.

By far, the best part about being a gay dude is that sex is totally easy. I know this sort of propagates the whole ‘gay men are sluts’ meme, but it’s the god’s honest truth. Men (gay and straight) like sex and so, stick two of us together and sex comes pretty easily. It’s a fact of life that lots of gay men, meet, hook-up and become friends and when we tell this to our straight friends, they’re very jealous.

If you really want to depress your straight friends, explain that your partner will never withhold sex until you do the dishes or take out the trash or what not. Never happens.

Oh– and nobody ever gets accidentally pregnant!

2. Double the wardrobe.

This is an old Seinfeld joke, but as a closet full of ex-boyfriends’ clothes (we trade!) attests to, you don’t just get the boy, you get his fashion, too. There’s something incredibly sexy about seeing the guy you’re into hopping into your jeans.

3. We’re more open-minded.

Look, I’m a black-haired, green-eyed Italian man who grew up in middle-class suburbia. I’d like to think that I would be a tolerant, open-minded person regardless of my sexuality, but being gay has done a lot to make me a better human being. There’s a world of difference between sympathy and empathy and knowing what it’s like to be treated differently simply because of who you are. It opens your mind to the casual racism and classism in this country.

4. We can ask for directions.

Lost your way? No reason to demand you know the right way to go, just pull over and ask a gas station attendant. “Um, yes, we’re on vacation and we’re looking for the Bed & Breakfast where we are staying for the weekend.  Can you tell us how to get to the ‘Izzit Inn’?”  Can someone explain to me why straight guys can’t do this?

5. We do not presume every straight person wants to sleep with us.

Without fail, at some point in the friendship of every straight pal I’ve ever had, they’ve alluded to the fact that I must secretly want to bang them. I used to explain to most of them that they aren’t my type, but after one-too-many bruised egos, I’ve learned to keep quiet and just smile and wink.

6. All these awesome people.

Sexuality crosses so many boundaries that when you’re gay, you’re bound to meet people who are not like you. In seeking out people who are like you, you inevitably meet people who are not like you at all. One of my first friends was this gay guy named Don. We bonded over a love of Elton John and the Dewey Decimal System, and when I dumped my first boyfriend, Don was worried I was doing it to be with him and divulged to me that he was a female-to-male transsexual. At 19, this blew my mind and I had all sorts of questions: “Why would you go from being a straight woman to being a gay guy?” (“All the good ones are gay”), “But, it’d be so much easier!” (“Yeah, but I’ve always seen myself as a boy—sexuality is independent of gender”) and while we didn’t find love, we became best friends. I don’t know if that’s something that would have happened if I were straight.

7. The Toaster Oven.

As you all know from your own coming out experience, one of the greatest things about being gay is all the toaster ovens you get when you recruit new gays to the cause. The only down side of this is that, at this point, I’m eating toast morning, noon and night.

8. We’re not threatened by strong-willed women.

In fact, we love them and idolize them. If you’re a gal who knows what she wants and is willing to claw and fight to make it in a man’s world, gay men will be there cheering you all the way. The straight boys will cower in fear and call you a bitch. Bitch? Honey, you have no idea.

9. It’s easier to be yourself.

We don’t envy our straight male buddies. There’s a lot of discussion about female gender roles being constricting, but most guys don’t even talk about it; it’s just “drink beer, watch football, dress like a slob.” One of the great things about the gay rights movement is that it’s making it easier for straight guys to be themselves and express non-standard interests. For gay guys, it’s just expected. Want to unrepentantly sing musical theater songs in the shower? Go for it. For instance, I’m a nerdy bookworm. I talk about the NYTimes Books Review section with my friends. I drag friends to art gallery openings—and until this moment, I never really thought twice about what people might say about it.

10. It is much easier to get cast in a reality TV show.

Oh, so you juggle, are related to the British crown and live on the back of your motorcycle? Awesome. We’re gay and have snappy catchphrases. Do you really want to compete?

11. We have friends everywhere.

Go to any major city and ask where the gay district is and you’ll have an instant network. Gays are all about creating their own families and, for the most part, we take kindly to strangers. In fact, a lot of the time, we don’t even have to try. How many times has someone come up to you and said, “Hey, you have to meet my friend, Kenny! He’s gay too!” This can get really old, but how many straight guys have a cavalcade of girls trying to set them up? Exactly.

12. To the kids, we are the coolest members of our family.

Everyone loves the “Guncle”. You bring the coolest toys, you listen to what the kids say and when they come over, they get treated like royalty. While some of the adults in your family may judge you, to the kids, you are God—God with ice cream and cookies for dinner.  (hey, we don’t have to pay your dentist bills…so eat up!!)

13. We are inherently fun.

It’s right there in the name: “Gay.” There’s an expectation that gay folks are good times, and while we get depressed like the rest of the world, for the most part, we’re happy to oblige. If you want to do something, it takes on an instant cool cachet, simply because you’re a big ‘mo who must know what he’s doing. It doesn’t matter if it’s stock car racing or ballet, you come with an instant stamp of cultural authority that you can use to your endless amusement.

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No On H8…Unless…

Posted by Daniel on May 27, 2009

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1. Being gay is not “natural”. Real Americans always reject un-natural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.


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2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be “gay”; in the same way hanging around tall people will make you tall.

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3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of “crazy” behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

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4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

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5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour “just for fun” marriage would be destroyed.

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6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

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7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

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8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

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9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

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10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, and longer life spans.

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Throw The Stick Or Die!!!

Posted by Daniel on May 25, 2009

Pet Peeves That Dogs Have About Humans…
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  1. Blaming your farts on me.  Not funny…not funny at ALL!!!!
  2. Yelling at me for barking.  I’m a fucking dog, you moron!!!
  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.  Exactly WHO’S walk IS this anyway?!?!?
  4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.  Stop it.
  5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.  Now you know why we chew your shit up when you’re away from home!!!
  6. The slight-of-hand “fake fetch throw”.  You fooled a dog.  Woo Hoo!!!  What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
  7. taking me to the vet for the “big snip”, then acting surprised every time we have to go back there.
  8. Getting upset every time I sniff the crotches of your guests.  Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that hand-shake thing yet.
  9. Dog sweaters.  Hello!!  Haven’t you noticed the fur??  It’s fucking HOT under that shit!!!
  10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.  Look, we both know the truth…you’re just jealous.

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All Dressed Up…

Posted by Daniel on May 22, 2009

I am usually one of those people who think the people who dress up their pets are either desperately lonely, retarded or just plain evil.  Now I know which of those I am…evil.

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I finally understand what the big thrill of playing Doggie-Dress-Up really is.  And if you’re evil like me, it just adds more gravy to the meat.

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Let me explain…

It’s been six months since we got Kitty (our Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix), which puts him at nearly one year old.  I think his birthday falls on June 30th…though to see him in action, maybe it should actually be on April Fools Day.

Yes, I KNOW…we named our dog, Kitty…read on and you’ll see more reasons why our dog needs therapy.

Anyway, we were out shopping the other evening for Duck Food (don’t ask) and happened to find some at PetSmart.  While we were there, we decided to get some things for Kitty.  You know, the usual crap…Science Diet food (unfortunately, not the LOW POOP YIELD variety), some treats and a new toy.  He goes through toys so dang fast with those piranha-like teeth of his.

As I turned the corner from the toys I saw something that just got the runway girl in me going.

OUTFITS!!!

Tons of doggie outfits.  Every color and size.  From Foo-Foo garb that is all pink with feather boa-ing around the openings that says, “PRINCESS” in rhinestones and glitter (I got one for him), all the way to some leather bondage dominatrix-looking number that would have made him look a patent leather sausage…with a whip.  (it actually came with a whip!!!)(who ARE these owners?!?!)

We got him three outfits….the aforementioned “Princess” number (because he’s been feeling a little too butch lately and humping everything in sight), a red sweater and a green Aeropostle knock-off t-shirt.

Needless to say, the instant we got home, I put him into the t-shirt and he just sat there and looked miserable.  Sucks to be him, I suppose. (see below)

KITTYshirt1KITTY

But hey, in THAT household he HAD to know this was coming sooner or later.  Next we plan to take him to the vet to get his little testosterone sacks snipped.  Fuck, you think he hates us now with the outfits!!

While we’re at it, we’re going to have them paint his toenails pink.

Now, before you go getting all bent out of shape about this, I just want to state for the record that we are NOT doing this because we’re a couple of “Mo’s”.  That’s too conformist and stereotypical and we don’t roll that way.

No, we are doing this because we love to torment our little Kitty just as much as he loves to torment us…and the little sour faces he gets amuse us.

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What’s So Funny?

Posted by Daniel on May 20, 2009

As I’m sure many of you have noticed (based on the emails I get on the subject), Seth is a bit sparse on the postings of late.

I will occasionally ask him to post about this or that and usually get the same response every time…

He’ll bow his head, purse his lips, get all fake-pouty and say, “I can’t.  I’m not funny like you.”

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He’s always so critical of himself in so many ways.  His looks (as if!!), his intelligence (the idiot), his sense of humor (such that it is), his skills (in case he ever finds any), etc.  Honestly, he tends to be so self-deprecating and hyper-critical of himself.

I think he’s retarded.

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I try to tell him that he doesn’t have to write something “funny”.  The whole purpose of this blog is to serve as our little personal diary where we write whatever it is that comes into our heads at the time.  Sure, it’s online for all the world to see and critique, but it’s far more creative than throwing some cheesy pics onto your MySpace page.

But he seems to think that if he can’t write anything funny, then what’s the point?

“No one is going to want to read what happened to me at work”, he says.  “Like anybody really gives a shit about my opinion.”

Again, he misses the point.

I tell him that it doesn’t have to be this long drawn out story or mini-novel.  Just jot down his thoughts…or whatever happens to pop into that echo chamber he calls a cranium.

On a completely different subject, Seth and I went to see Lewis Black in concert (Let ‘Em Eat Cake) last night.  It was a great show.  Can’t wait to see it out on DVD.  And, while we were waiting for the concert to start, I plunked down $5 into the Star Trek slot machine (did I mention the concert was at Table Mountain Casino?), and won $34.

Oh, and Seth…Just in case you’re still thinking it’s too hard to just jot down random thoughts in diary form…

What the hell do you think you just finished reading???

See, hun…it’s just that simple.

Below are some samples of what I think is funny…other than Seth…

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Satan,Gingers,Evil,Redheads

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GOP Distraction Sidestep

Posted by Daniel on May 18, 2009

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Ain’t it cute how Republicans like to wave something shiny in front of your face to distract you from the shit they smear on your walls every day?

They had eight years to fill your heads with lies and scare tactics…and for many of you, it worked.

Everything they did from 2000 on has been to serve one purpose only…to create and maintain a theocratic GOP monarchy.

“You’re either with us or you’re against us.”

The same words were used against another nation by it’s supposed leaders back in 1933.

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This, however, hasn’t sat very well with the free-thinkers in this country, and as a result, the GOP has since been essentially voted out into obscurity and obsolescence.  And it’s about time, too.

All the lies they told you (again, I keep saying “you” because I never once bought into their lies or threats) about how everything they were doing during Bush’s eight year reign was for your own good and the people’s safety.  Well, at least the safety of the people THEY liked and could either scare easily and/or bilk for every Patriotic dollar they could get their slimy deregulating hands on.

Yeah America, you bought into their lies.  You were so afraid of being called un-patriotic by their Gestapo-like propaganda spewers that you bent right over and took it like the good old God fearing everybody-else-hating Americans you are.

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And just look at what your heroes have left us…

  1. Wars
  2. A Tanking Economy
  3. Religious Fearmongering
  4. A World In Turmoil
  5. Cats & Dogs Living Together

Not to mention the two biggest terrorists are still alive, unfortunately.  Osama Bin Laden and Dick Cheney.

Speaking of the biggest Dick on the planet, isn’t it cute the way he is staying out there in the friendly “media” sector (FOX Gnu’s) doing interview after interview in an effort to rewrite history and somehow justify all of the treasonous crimes he and everyone else in the Bush kingdom committed?

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And what about this over-cooked ham, John Boehner?  One day he is trotting out the GOP’s so-called “Budget” that turns out to be eighteen pages with NOT ONE SINGLE dollar figure.  He might as well have called it the GOP Book of Ass Wiping Material.

John Boehner-Cryin' bitch Pictures, Images and Photos

Now these two losers and other GOP schoolyard crybabies want an apology from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for accusing the CIA of lying to her about an interrogation briefing?

I’ll tell you what…and to be fair…if she is lying about their lying, investigate the shit out of her.  I loathe entirely any deception from ANY politician, Republican or Democrat.

I do, however, have an issue with just who is doing the loudest crying about Pelosi.  And it’s always the same usual suspects (and I mean the word SUSPECTS literally), too.  FOX News and it’s so-called reporting staff.  ALL former Bush administration officials (except, ironically, Bush himself).  the few remaining republican House or Senate members who had to watch their party take such an ass-whooping over the past two elections that all the remaining seat-holders can really do these days is bitch and whine about how unfair things are and rather than learn from their high crimes and mistakes of the past eight years, they choose to blame others and tell you that Nancy Pelosi wants to eat your babies and fuck your American flag-wearing pig.

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Get over it, GOP!!!

Whether Pelosi has either a different recollection about those events, or if the Bush Administration THROUGH the CIA lied to the then-out-of-power Democrats (and c’mon, it’s not a stretch of the imagination) about torture techniques, OR if she, herself, is flat out lying…the truth will come out.  It always does.  And if she is actually lying, I will expect her to pay whatever political price congress sees fit.

But the GOP is moralizing about someone lying?!?!  That’s like the Pope taking a shit on the cross and then yelling at you for using yours to clean out your ears.

If it’s one thing I’ve seen and been convinced of it’s that the GOP tends to protest too much.  They are fine so long as everyone on the planet is taking their word as gospel (literally) and bending over for a good ole fashioned GOP Patriotic Grudge Fuckin’.  But prove them wrong and showcase their hypocracies and vote them out of office or talk about them shooting their friends in the face and all of a sudden you’re a pinko-hippie-card-carrying-liberal-commie-sympathizer-natzi-faggot-baby-killin’-tree-huggin’-terrorist.

So there you go, America.  The GOP wailing and flailing as they attempt to point out someone ELSE’S hypocracy.  It’s a bit unsettling to see the last gasps of a dying…anything.  But I think that as history looks back (and by that I mean the REAL history, not the “history” the GOP is trying to recreate) it will seem more like a mercy killing.

After all, the best and only way for a species to evolve and thrive is to allow the weaker versions to die off.

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Summer Test Drive

Posted by Daniel on May 16, 2009

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So it’s going to be hot today.

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One hundred degrees hot.

Sounds bad, until you factor in the veritable lack of humidity.  Then it’s not terribly bad.  Still hot, mind you…but bearable.

This is the kind of weather I like to drive up into the hills and go hiking.  There’s an especially nice area in the lower Sierra’s called Willow Creek that you just have to see to believe.

It’s quite a hike from where you have to park, but when you reach the very large creek and feel hear that rushing water, mixed with the staggering beauty of the surroundings, you then know peace.

Funny thing about that particular creek…

Last year we all went up there and while it was hot down in the valley where we live, it seemed a bit hotter up there.  So we naturally wanted to get into the creek and sunbathe a bit.  Then we started to notice something odd about the water.  What looked at first glance like regular algae on the rocks just under the rushing water turned out to be, at closer inspection, LEECHES!!!

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Millions of tiny baby leeches!!!!

WTF?!?!?!?

Apparently that sort of “thing” happens occasionally up there.

Anyway, instead of being able to do some fun hiking either up in the mountains or at the lake today, I have to work.  And I am not pleased.

Some might say that I should appreciate being inside with the A/C blowing my nipples off, but I would much rather be outside on a day like this.

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Seth says I love the heat so much because I’m one of Satan’s minions.  Which may or may not be true.  After all, I also enjoy seeing annoying people trip and fall.  Don’t hate me…but you have to find a smile in every situation.  Right?

Okay, so I’m stuck inside working on a great day to be outside.

Lemons-to-lemonade, right?

I hear tomorrow is going to be over 105 degrees.

Here come the hiking boots and leeches!!!

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Our Political Doody

Posted by Daniel on May 14, 2009

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Roughly translated, it means we eat politics/politicians for breakfast.  You get what comes after that.

Speaking of doody, lets talk about the GOP…or their self-imposed demise.

It may not be the Twilight of the Gods, but, with any luck, it could be a permanent brownout of the GOP –not a political party but a crime syndicate, an evil cult, a ‘canker in the body politic’.

Even the New York Times concedes that election Day exit polls have sent shivers down the GOPs notochord. According to to the numbers, the GOP is literally ‘withering away’.

More than six-in-ten Americans (62%) say they have a positive opinion of the Democratic Party, compared with 40% who say they have a favorable opinion of the Republican Party. The current Democratic favorability advantage is the largest measured in nearly two decades.

The widening gap is primarily a result of an increase in favorable views of the Democratic Party since the election, up from 57% in late According to a poll conducted by The New York Times and CBS News this month, only 21 percent of respondents said that they consider themselves Republicans. This was the lowest percentage for that response since The Times started asking the question in 1992.

By comparison, nearly twice as many respondents said that they consider themselves Democrats.–Pew Report

“We’re all concerned about the fact that the very wealthy and the very poor, the most and least educated, and a majority of minority voters, seem to have more or less stopped paying attention to us, and we should be concerned that, as a result of all this, the Republican Party seems to be slipping into a position of being more of a regional party than a national one.” —New York Times

Concurrently, it’s well known that the GOP has not ‘blown it’ due to mere mistakes. The GOP has been headed for a crash not because it made mistakes but because of deliberate crimes and endemic arrogance.

  • The invasion of Iraq was terrible policy to begin with, dreamt up by neo-con theorists in the Project for the New American Century in the late 1990’s. It was always a bad idea to spontaneously invade and occupy a country that did not attack us and with a population that did not want us there. When has that ever ended well? That the policy was justified by intentionally misleading the country on WMD intelligence shows just how bad an idea it was from the start. There was no good reason to do it. Further, any mistakes that were made during the occupation, especially those by private contractors, would never receive serious oversight. The modern conservative movement has no intention of holding private companies accountable for anything. They certainly have no intention of holding their leaders, such as Rumsfeld and Rice, accountable for anything, since the only thing the conservative movement ever holds their leaders accountable for is being pro-choice. Iraq was always going to be a disaster, and the mistakes made would never be fixed. That is inherent to the Republican Party in the age of the conservative movement. It wasn’t a “mistake.
  • The attempt to privatize, and thus destroy, Social Security was run by Republicans and the conservative movement with as much political smarts as any other legislative campaign they have run since 1994. However, the difference was that Democrats and the progressive movement actually successfully fought back. This wasn’t a Republican mistake–destroying Social Security has been a goal of the conservative movement for nearly fifty years. It is just what they do. Again, this was inherent to the Republican system of governance in the age of the conservative movement, but Democrats and the progressive movement just managed to throw a wrench into the machine with an effective defense.
  • The Foley scandal is also the point of Republican governance in the era of the conservative movement. As brilliantly documented in the 2005 book “Off Center”, in order to continue to govern with a radical agenda far out of line with the majority of the country, it has been necessary for conservative Republicans to operate on a powerful 50% + 1 strategy for many years. Republicans have consistently pulled power grabs in order to maintain their narrow majority through tactics such as mid-decade redistricting and voter suppression. Thus, it makes perfect sense that Republicans would cover up for a child predator as long as it meant they could keep another seat in Congress. Cover-ups in order to maintain power are inherent to the 50% + 1 strategy employed by the Republican Party in the era of the modern conservative movement. Again, this wasn’t a mistake–that is just how they operate.
  • When it comes to Katrina, in the era of the conservative movement, it is in no way surprising that incompetent cronies led ineffective disaster relief operations in areas where poor people and minorities live. The crony part is a gimme: people are rewarded in the modern conservative movement for supporting the movement, not for being good at their jobs, or even qualified for their jobs. It also is in no way surprising that a movement which proclaims its desire to “drown government in a bathtub” wasn’t exactly well prepared to have a governmental organization respond to a disaster of this scale. And heck, since African-American in New Orleans are not exactly a demographic the movement sees as key to maintaining its 50% + 1 majority, there wasn’t an immediately apparent political need to respond with utmost urgency. Maybe if New Orleans had several women in persistent vegetative states on life support, and each of them happened to have huge, conservative, white evangelical followings, then the Bush administration would have been better prepared to capably respond. But, since it wasn’t key to their own base, it wasn’t high on the list of priorities.
  • –Republicans Are Not Losing Because of “Mistakes”

I told you so!

Repeatedly, I have stated that the GOP is NOT a political party; it is a crime syndicate, a kooky cult! GOP policies were intended to enrich its base and they succeeded in doing that. As of this moment about ONE PERCENT of the nation owns more than about 90 percent or more of the rest us combined.

The salaries of CEOs have risen exponentially since 1980, the year of Reagan’s ascension if not his apotheosis. That economic polarization is be design, the result of favorable treatment given ‘elites’ at least since Ronald Reagan.

To understand the GOP, you must first understand that only the GOP base benefited from GOP tax cuts. Everyone else lost ground. GINI indices from the Bureau of Labor Stats, the Census Bureau and the US Commerce Dept-BEA prove it beyond any reasonable doubt. The process by which the GOP elite gains at everyone’s else expense halted and reversed for a brief while under Bill Clinton only to resume with a vengence under the failed and criminal Presidency of George W. Bush.

The heads of America’s 500 biggest companies received an aggregate 54% pay raise last year. As a group, their total compensation amounted to $5.1 billion, versus $3.3 billion in fiscal 2003. We define total compensation as salary and bonus plus “other” compensation, which includes vested restricted stock grants and “stock gains,” the value realized from exercising stock options during the just-concluded fiscal year.For those companies in which the chief executive has been in office six years or longer, we looked at average six-year total compensation and compared this to long-term stock performance of industry peers as well as the overall stock market. We ranked 189 chief executives in our performance versus pay scorecard.–Forbes

B.R. (before Reagan) anyone earning 100,000 dollars per year was earning real money. Today, 100,000 dollars could not make a down payment on even a modest River Oaks (Houston) mansion. CEO salaries in 1970 (including bonus packages) averaged $700,000 or about 25 times ‘worker’ salaries. By the year 2000, CEO salaries approached $2.2 million, some 90 times average worker salaries. [See:2004 study on CEO pay by Kevin J. Murphy and Jan Zabojnik].

Wealth Does Not Trickle Down
Don’t believe the malarky peddled by business publications that CEO pay increases the tax base! As long as there are ‘tax dodges’ the gulf between ‘tax base’ and ‘revenues’ will never close. If what the business publications say were true, why have trillions been exported to offshore tax dodges since the ascension of Ronnie Reagan? How does money that is squirreled away offshore increase ‘tax bases’. Bluntly: CEOs salaries do not increase the tax base. They subvert it! The ‘business’ publications are lying. Wealth does not trickle down; it rushes upward and leaves behind an impoverished nation on the brink of another GOP ‘great depression’.The causes of depression now as then are greed and lies! Wealth did not trickle down then. It has not trickled down since Ronald Reagan began the trend with this improvident, ‘supply side’ tax cut of 1982 which his own Budget Director, David Stockman, called a ‘trojan horse’.

A ‘Trojan Horse’ is a deadly virus that pretends to be something it is not. Disguised, it infiltrates the body politic, the body ‘economic’. The GOP leadership and Ronald Reagan did not dare tell you the truth. They dared not tell you that the intended goal of the ‘tax cuts’ was to pay off the GOP ‘base’. Seen in this way, it is fair to categorize GOP ‘tax cuts’ as payoffs or bribes.

GOP ‘supply side’ theories were to the economy as AIDS was to the populace: a deadly infestation — ‘canker on the body politic’ –for which there has been no cure and little treatment since the ascension and, later, the apotheosis of the ‘Great Communicator’, Ronald Reagan, about whom GOPPERS still swoon: “he made us feel good about ourselves!” That was Reagan’s ‘gift’. Bush’s gift to the rest of us was that he made even the GOP base feel like the slimy, reptilians that they really are.
Now, in anticipation of the much heard factoid: ‘…but the Democrats are just as bad!’

No! Democrats are NOT just as bad!

The following stats are just a sample of the numerous, seemingly endless instances in which the GOP has been dead wrong and the Democratic party has been absolutely correct. Let’s take a look at the history before it gets re-written:

  • Any Democratic President has presided over greater economic growth and job creation than any Republican President since World War II.
  • When Bush Jr took office, job creation was worst under a Republican, Bush Sr, at 0.6% per year and best under a Democrat, Johnson, at 3.8% per year.
  • Economic growth under President Carter was far greater than under Reagan or Bush Sr. In fact, economic growth in general was greater under Johnson, Kennedy, Carter, and Clinton than under Reagan or Bush. Democrats always outperform a failed party: the GOP!
  • The job creation rate under Clinton was 2.4% significantly higher than Ronald Reagan’s 2.1% per year.
  • The “top performing Presidents” by this standard, in order from best down, were Johnson, Carter, Clinton, and Kennedy. The “worst” (in descending order) were Nixon, Reagan, Bush.
  • Half of jobs created under Reagan were in the public sector –some 2 million jobs added to the Federal Bureaucracy. Hadn’t he promised to reduce that bureaucracy?
  • Reagan, though promising to reduce government and spending, tripled the national debt and left huge deficits to his successor. Bush Jr’s record will be even worse.
  • By contrast, most of the jobs created on Clinton’s watch were in the private sector.
  • Put another way: any Democratic President beats any Republican President since World War II.

These are just a few that I had knocked out quickly in preparation for a previous article. With any real work, any one with a nodding acquaintance of economics can demolish the GOP. The GOP is a crime syndicate, specially a FRAUD foisted upon the American populace in order to enrich the increasingly tiny elite. That they have been highly successful is convincing evidence, perhaps absolute proof of the cult-like nature of this phony ‘party’.

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Feeling The Burn

Posted by Daniel on May 12, 2009

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It’s official…I just can’t seem to do the exercise/diet thing right.

As summer draws nigh, one tends to focus on getting into better shape.  After all, there are going to be boat trips up to the lake, hiking and other activities that require the doll to remove his blouse.

And right now, that’s paramount to fat-flashing…not to mention the impending ridicule from those who might mistake me for some beached whale.

So we are both trying to get into better shape before string bikini season goes into full swing.

Seth is doing much better at it than I am, as he has a bit more time to devote to his exercise regime.  Since I work six days a week, the very LAST thing I want to do on my Sunday off is exercise.

So Seth gets this idea to buy us two of those blue neoprene waist belts that are supposed to burn off the fat as you go through your normal day.

I’ve tried this before and it actually did help.

This time, however, turned out to be a bit more of a challenge.

More to the point, it seemed to work TOO well.

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Oh, it burned the fat alright.  In fact, this time it actually caused blisters that looked like second degree burns.

There appeared to be two very obvious blisters on my side just under where the velcro was.

All I wanted was to help burn off a bit of the love handles, you know, so I wouldn’t look like I was wearing water wings as a belt.

In the end, where I started off wanting to wear a fat-burning belt to melt away the Doritos and Little Debbies I’d retained over the winter, now I’m sporting some very unattractive bandages to aid in the healing of the fruits of my labors.

This is what I get for going against my life-long mantra…

A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind!!!!

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Giving You A STAR FLEET Enemae

Posted by Daniel on May 6, 2009

Being the big Star Trek dweeb that I am, I thought it would be prudent to give you all a little schooling on how things are done on the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Well, this is how it USED to be done in the old version anyway…

For The Transporter:
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For The Bridge:
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For The Captain’s Quarters:
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For Security Chief:
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For Red Shirt-Wearing Crewmen:
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