The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

All Dressed Up…

Posted by Daniel on May 22, 2009

I am usually one of those people who think the people who dress up their pets are either desperately lonely, retarded or just plain evil.  Now I know which of those I am…evil.

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I finally understand what the big thrill of playing Doggie-Dress-Up really is.  And if you’re evil like me, it just adds more gravy to the meat.

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Let me explain…

It’s been six months since we got Kitty (our Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix), which puts him at nearly one year old.  I think his birthday falls on June 30th…though to see him in action, maybe it should actually be on April Fools Day.

Yes, I KNOW…we named our dog, Kitty…read on and you’ll see more reasons why our dog needs therapy.

Anyway, we were out shopping the other evening for Duck Food (don’t ask) and happened to find some at PetSmart.  While we were there, we decided to get some things for Kitty.  You know, the usual crap…Science Diet food (unfortunately, not the LOW POOP YIELD variety), some treats and a new toy.  He goes through toys so dang fast with those piranha-like teeth of his.

As I turned the corner from the toys I saw something that just got the runway girl in me going.

OUTFITS!!!

Tons of doggie outfits.  Every color and size.  From Foo-Foo garb that is all pink with feather boa-ing around the openings that says, “PRINCESS” in rhinestones and glitter (I got one for him), all the way to some leather bondage dominatrix-looking number that would have made him look a patent leather sausage…with a whip.  (it actually came with a whip!!!)(who ARE these owners?!?!)

We got him three outfits….the aforementioned “Princess” number (because he’s been feeling a little too butch lately and humping everything in sight), a red sweater and a green Aeropostle knock-off t-shirt.

Needless to say, the instant we got home, I put him into the t-shirt and he just sat there and looked miserable.  Sucks to be him, I suppose. (see below)

KITTYshirt1KITTY

But hey, in THAT household he HAD to know this was coming sooner or later.  Next we plan to take him to the vet to get his little testosterone sacks snipped.  Fuck, you think he hates us now with the outfits!!

While we’re at it, we’re going to have them paint his toenails pink.

Now, before you go getting all bent out of shape about this, I just want to state for the record that we are NOT doing this because we’re a couple of “Mo’s”.  That’s too conformist and stereotypical and we don’t roll that way.

No, we are doing this because we love to torment our little Kitty just as much as he loves to torment us…and the little sour faces he gets amuse us.

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