The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Throw The Stick Or Die!!!

Posted by Daniel on May 25, 2009

Pet Peeves That Dogs Have About Humans…

  1. Blaming your farts on me.  Not funny…not funny at ALL!!!!
  2. Yelling at me for barking.  I’m a fucking dog, you moron!!!
  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.  Exactly WHO’S walk IS this anyway?!?!?
  4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.  Stop it.
  5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.  Now you know why we chew your shit up when you’re away from home!!!
  6. The slight-of-hand “fake fetch throw”.  You fooled a dog.  Woo Hoo!!!  What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
  7. taking me to the vet for the “big snip”, then acting surprised every time we have to go back there.
  8. Getting upset every time I sniff the crotches of your guests.  Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that hand-shake thing yet.
  9. Dog sweaters.  Hello!!  Haven’t you noticed the fur??  It’s fucking HOT under that shit!!!
  10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.  Look, we both know the truth…you’re just jealous.

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