The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

We’re In Winter Heat

Posted by Daniel on December 7, 2009

Well, I suppose the title could be read in different ways.

Most of which apply.

First of all, the electric/gas utilities here in California are just plain obscene. Just to run the A/C right after we moved into this condo back in July ran our electric bill up to $200 per month!!! Seriously, from July through August we paid over $500 to PG&E, not including an extra $350 just for the freaking deposit. It got so insulting, we just stopped using the A/C altogether and literally had to sweat it out through the rest of Summer just to save money.

Now it’s “Winter” here and while we won’t see snow here in the valley, the temperatures dip down into the VERY low 30’s overnight.

Sorry to our friends back East. We know thirty-two degrees back there is more like Summer compared to your winters.

Now we’re having to debate whether or not to use the heat. And with these Spanish tiled floors, that just amplifies the cold. So we’ve decided to compromise…we run the heat from midnight to five a.m., then just bundle up during the day.

All of this “weather” is wreaking havoc with my neuropathy. It’s ironic that the colder the climate, the more my hands burn.

And now, just to add insult to injury, Puppy (our beloved demon spawn cat) has chosen NOW to fly into a raging round of being in heat. And on the VERY day she was scheduled to go to the vet to be declawed and have her ovaries sucked out!!!

I think she knew what was coming and PLANNED her cycle of estrus!!!

(and don’t tell me cats aren’t that smart)


If you’ve never had to experience this little…um…period (lol), let me tell you it sucks out loud!!!

And “loud” is the operative word here. You want to feel sorry for them because it’s not exactly a pleasant time for the cat – unless she is lucky enough to slip outside and get nailed by the nearest thing with a phallus – but it’s SO DAMNED ANNOYINGLY LOUD (especially at night) that last night I was tempted to take her to a lesbian bar, throw her ass out to the middle of the dance floor and yell, “LAST CALL!!!!”

(Seth didn’t get that joke…I thought it was pretty damned good)

Puppy has been the biggest little whore since last Thursday and it probably pisses her off that not only does she live with tho gay guys, but even her best friend, Kitty (our dog) has been fixed and, try as he night to be Mr. Gallant (meaning humping her every chance he gets, despite our constant yelling at him), he’s shooting blanks when he DOES try.

Anyway, that’s our beginning of December.

It’s going to be quite a month…if we don’t freeze to death.


4 Responses to “We’re In Winter Heat”

  1. Robguy said

    I’m sure you know that you can get your cats spayed and she won’t be so obnoxious. Some people like to be open to the possibility of being pet “grandparents” but we snipped our boys as soon as their balls dropped.

    Our landlord hasn’t fixed our A/C in 3 years. It works but instead of the condensation flowing in a tube to the outside, it drips down on the inside of the window. Most of the time we can just turn on a fan and wait for the cool night air.

    Happy New Year!

  2. kirk said

    yeah, we’re facing a drop in temps also, so that every night feels like the 30s indoors, but why run the heat overnight? Just burrow down in those fleece and down=filled comfortors… then turn on the heat for an hour or so when you get up…and when you get home at night. A programable thermostat can help you A LOT! Just make sure you agree when and how much the heat goes on.

  3. Brian said

    Well….30-something is cold here too my friend. and I’m doing a complete remodel this week which means what?……a window must be cracked so that I don’t smother to death from paint fumes. ACK!

    I’m glad all is well for you two up there at the North Pole.

    P.S. I got your last call joke. That’s disgusting. It also made me fart from laughing so hard.

    • Daniel said

      You know…I don’t think there is a higher form of flattery or compliment than someone farting in appretiation of a good joke. Thank you, Brian. I think I’ll buy you something pretty for Christmas…and I may have to pack it in potpourri. Or should that be “poop-eri”??

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: