The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Ghosts of The Past

Posted by Daniel on January 21, 2010

Life tends to go by so fast. One day you’re looking at yourself in the mirror thinking you’re the bee’s knees…the next minute you’re wondering when you became so old you started using terms like “bee’s knees”.

It’s bad enough when you go through life thinking you have a pretty good grip on things and you can keep up with everything that flies by, but then comes the gawd-awful day that shows you never really had control of anything and that you’d better hold on tighter or get left behind.

Lately it feels like there are some out there who are all-too-pleased to help you get left behind.

I’m a pretty good judge of personality. It’s just that simple.

There are lots of folks who would categorize the way I size people up as “judgmental”.

Not true.

In my life, I’ve met so many people in so many countries in so many settings, social and otherwise. I’ve met folks who could make you believe just about anything your little heart desires. There are those who I meet that, only five minutes into conversation, send a red flag up in my head as someone to keep at arms length…or farther.

Believe it or not, I’ve NEVER been wrong when it comes to pinning down personalities. Call it luck. Call it ESP. I’d prefer to think that it’s because I’ve been bullshitted by some of the best IN THE WORLD. And I don’t just mean politicians or ex’s. (they’re just way TOO easy to read)

I know when someone genuinely wants to be my friend, and when someone wants something from me or tries to mask their underhandedness behind a veil of sweet talk and promises of platonic friendship.

I feel there is someone creeping into our lives right now who has ulterior motives towards breaking us up.

So far since we moved to this state, I’ve pegged four people who were out to split Seth and I up, and as it turned out, I was right about all of them.

The current predator has made his intentions all too clear from day one. To me, anyway.

This person invites Seth to every kind of gathering imaginable…but as a SINGLE person. I have met him once (for the airing of his haunted house episode on TV), but then he shook my hand and walked away. By that time, he and Seth had been hanging out for some time. Now this guy actually is taking Seth to LA next weekend to do some kind of work at the Grammys. Not once in anything he’s invited Seth to has this guy either acknowledged us as a couple, or asked if I had a problem with the plans (oh, you mean like taking my other half to LA???).

Don’t get me wrong…I know that Seth has something to do with this as well. When they go out (last time was to a “mixer”…I wasn’t invited), Seth will be out until between 3 – 6 am, depending on the event. I don’t have to tell you how this has both stunned me and also PISSED ME OFF!!!

I don’t care who your friends are or what the occasion, (and correct me if I’m wrong here) but if you’re with someone as a couple, you don’t spend all night out with gawd-knows-who till the hours of gawd-knows-when, because it makes it way too easy to think they’re doing gawd-knows-what. I’m a very trusting person and I trust Seth implicitly. I don’t, however, trust some of these “guyfriends'” OR their motives.

I guess it all hurts because there is a clear and insulting lack of respect being shown here. (again, correct me if I’m misreading all of this)

This has been going on for many months now and at first it scared the shit out of me because I had no idea where he was or what (if anything) had happened to him. One morning (5am) I was seconds from dialing hospitals when he finally came home. Seems he gave someone a ride home who was too drunk to drive, and he passed out at their place watching Golden Girls.

I went off on him, of course, and told him that while I don’t care if or when he wants to go out with his friends, but from now on I had BETTER get either a call or text from him to let me know all is well AND that there is no need to be passing out at someones house after drinking. Call my ass and I will come get him and bring his ass home where he belongs.

I may trust him (because he said I SHOULD), but passed out in some strangers apartment? What the hell do YOU think could happen??? I don’t trust the intentions of others in situations like that.

Period.

This brings me back to the guy who is currently fast-becoming Seth’s new best friend. I swear when we are here together, he spends one-tenth the time actually talking to me as he does texting this guy. That, in itself, pisses me off, but hey, whatever.

But I am increasingly fearful of this person’s intentions towards Seth and the promises he makes to him. As I said earlier, it doesn’t take much for me to gauge a person and I am more than positive this guy is intentionally treating Seth as a single person because he wants him. And folks, you’ve all seen these types in action before. This isn’t jealousy, this is someone who has set off an alert in my head and I know I’m right about him.

When I confronted Seth about this concern of mine, you can well imagine his reaction. This guy, according to Seth, shares many interests with him and really understands where he’s coming from and where he wants to go with his life. I give Seth the benefit of the doubt (with his age) when it came to that being said, but I also thought he would grasp just how hurtful a thing like that statement would seem, given he was saying it to his partner. Not to mention the issue of showing enough respect TO his other half NOT to spend overnight jaunts with friends at the drop of a hat.

He says it’s because I’m not a social person and he is a VERY social person. While I agree that he IS very social and apparently has lower inhibitions, he also has morals and I know that he does his best to live by them. By the way, I AM a social person, but I refuse to make MY social life the gay bars, which appears to be all that these people have. So I’d rather stick to my principals by staying/entertaining at home rather than spend every night out at the bars. Sue me, I’d rather go places and do things than stand around in the bars with their awful music, boring conversations about their latest conquests, cookie-cutter clone-wanna-be’s. Just because I have nothing in common with a bunch of bar flies does NOT make me less social!!!

While I want him to have his friends and his social life, I also want him to understand just how disrespectful it is for him to put his friends before his partner every time.

This isn’t the way EITHER of us was raised…and there are times I just can’t hide the hurt.

I hate this town and this state. I hate that they are all out for themselves and that they (like vampires) seem determined to either turn you in to one of them or make you disappear. I refuse to be one of them.

And I am terrified Seth went to that haunted house and was bitten.


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