The Tempest Online™

~ Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. ~

Since The World Is Going To End, Might As Well Get It Out There…

Posted by Daniel on December 10, 2012

end-of-the-worldMelissa and I were talking last night.  And if you’ve ever read about our insane conversations, imagine my surprise at how lucid she seemed this time.  She brought up the impending theoretical end of the world on the 21st.  Then before I could tell her how I don’t subscribe to that any more than I did the big Y2K scare, Bigfoot or children, she made a request that, at first stunned me…then made me think.  She said, “If you KNEW the world was going to end, what secrets about yourself would you tell the world?”

Wow…This took me aback.  Mostly because she’s never actually completed a sentence without using the word “penis”, but also because she actually made me speechless.   Then, without giving it too much (or even enough) thought,  I suddenly  decided WTF, I’m going to do it.

What follows is my list of twenty secrets.  Okay, some are secrets and some are just exclamations I’d throw out there, being as my period of shame will end on 12/21/2012.


Just want to say, in the event I’m right and the world doesn’t end and we’re all still here on Saturday the 22nd, please forget you ever read any of this and we can then avoid the awkwardness.

So, without further ado…here it is…Bring on the asteroid:

  1. I don’t believe in God, reincarnation or ghosts.  Never have.  But I respect those who do.
  2. I’ve always been too afraid to learn how to swim.
  3. I’ve always considered myself to be an unattractive person.  Still do.
  4. It’s not that I won’t dance…I just don’t know how.
  5. I’ve attempted suicide…twice.
  6. I refuse to date anyone who gets jealous of those around me.  Trust them and me, or move on!!
  7. Contrary to the fake reputation of being a castrating bitch that I’ve always tried to keep up, I actually do have a heart.  And it’s been damaged.  Severely.  But I still care.
  8. Silence terrifies me.  Literally.
  9. I’m sincerely and passionately in love with someone.
  10. I believe in love, people and science.  Always will.
  11. I consider my friends to be my life and my memories.  I’d give my life for them.
  12. My last relationship failed because I’ll never be over the one before.  There are other reasons, obviously, but this one hurts to admit just as much.
  13. In Jr. High, I once got beaten up by a girl.  I don’t hit girls.
  14. In the Qualifiers on American Gladiators, I was eliminated by a girl.  (least I THINK it was a girl)
  15. To this day, I still feel guilty that I survived the 80’s when so many didn’t.
  16. I stupidly allowed someone to convince me that I’ll die alone.
  17. I’ve been to Paradise, but I’ve never been to me.  I don’t know what that means, but it seems to apply.
  18. I never once pee’d in a pool.  Now I wish I had.
  19. My body pillow has a name.
  20. I actually love Melissa more than she knows.  Just don’t tell her.

3 Responses to “Since The World Is Going To End, Might As Well Get It Out There…”

  1. Brian said

    Wow. Well those are some good things to know about you. Now I know what I need to do. Get you a pool and some Samba lessons.

  2. Jessica said

    this is awesome!! Luv ya!!

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