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Archive for the ‘Common Sense’ Category

Lessons Learned

Posted by Daniel on August 7, 2013

A code of professional conduct is a necessary component to any profession to maintain standards for the individuals within that profession to adhere.  It brings about accountability, responsibility and trust to the individuals that the profession serves.

For writers such as Alexander Pope and Samuel Johnson, struggling in the transition from the age of patronage to that of Grub Street professionalism, Shakespeare offered not only a body of poetic invention but also an inspirational career trajectory.  I have lived my professional life to this standard since day-one.

As a writer, I’ve learned the in’s and out’s of just how powerful the spoken or written word can be.  Words (spoken or unspoken) can hurt or heal.  They can resolve, through mediation, great disparage and disagreements; yet they can also dig a chasm of resent so vast and so deep that no action can ever fill it.  In these instances, the resulting void is a scar that can never heal…leading to the death of any future talks.  I include “unspoken” in this narrative because recent events have underlined just how much hurt can come from what isn’t said just as much as what is.

In business, this is all the more important to keep in mind.  Be careful with whom you conduct business, because those who are sometimes close to you and are amazing people at their core, can also show to have absolutely no business savvy whatsoever.  If they even so much as researched their dealings, they might not be setting themselves up for, what I see as, several contractual lawsuits down the short road of this endeavor.  And you sometimes have to discover this through watching everything they try to conduct professionally fall through the floor.

I am currently standing at the edge of this professional and intellectual abyss.

Not too long ago I was asked to join a business venture that, at face value, appeared to be both novel in it’s originality as well as long overdue in it’s ideals.  I was asked to come on board as their Communications Director, which involved editing all web and email content, as well as turning their website from a sows ear to a silk purse.  I also worked for weeks getting their link added to thirty nine LGBTQ (and LGBTQ-friendly) websites as a means of helping to spread the message of this company.  “All Inclusive” and “In this business, we exclude NO groups” were the original themes batted around.  Of course I was all over this project.

It didn’t take long to figure out this message of theirs was not, in fact, entirely true.  No matter how much the two ladies who’ve taken the lead want to protest.  I am truly sorry to have to say that even the name of their so-called production company has become a bad joke.  Mostly because their actions and, sorry to say, business ethics have proven that name to be completely opposite in meaning.

Without going into the gory details or play-by-Play, suffice it to say that if you can’t take a courteous and professional criticism (that you asked for, by the way), then you shouldn’t jump into the deep end of the professional Pool.  I love working with people, and always have.  But in business, like I’ve always said, if you want to bark with the big dogs, you can’t pee like a puppy.  And you need to grow a thicker skin so that when someone tells you that when you write official emails or texts to companies, you’d better not sound like a Jr. High drop-out.  Yes, I said it…Punctuation…look into it!!!

Bottom line, if you can’t or won’t take professional criticism as a positive lesson learned, and would rather continue speaking to people professionally in a manner that makes you look like the most complex sentence structure you can come up with is “Was up wichew?”, good luck on your next business venture.  Because this one will be short-lived.  Especially when I get done with it online.  Only unlike you, I can do it by telling the truth.

Professionally speaking.


Posted in Common Sense, LGBT, Life, Our Writings | Leave a Comment »

Hey Undecideds…Piss Or Get Off The Pot!!!

Posted by Daniel on August 14, 2012

..Piss Or Get Off The Pot!!!

Dear Undecided Voters (both of you) and Uneducated Voters (all 40 million of you)…

I’ve done pretty damn good at staying out of the political fray this cycle (and you can all thank the Cobalt distractions for that). Ordinarily by this time my website would be PACKED with my ever-so-clever critiques of BOTH political parties and the lies they tend to spit up just for YOUR votes.  I blame all of you for our current choices.

As of today, however, I’ve decided to take those kid gloves off and start knockin’ the political liars (and their oblivious party line-toting minions) on their metaphorical asses.

Here’s what lit the fuse on my political tampon TODAY:
I happened to see an ad on TV (and believe me, I know 75% of them are pure B-to-the-S!!) that seemed to be bullshit business as usual. There was, however, ONE single word that verbally ice picked my ears…”their”. It was a Romney ad blasting Obama over the EPA regulations. The line went thusly, “Now the Obama Administration and THEIR EPA want to continue their frivolous and overreaching regulations…blahdy blah blah blah…”.The fact that they are portraying the EPA as some sort of an environmental suckfest of everyday Jane & Joe’s wallet and gas tank is not only laughable, it’s utterly and factually insulting to ANYONE with more than a 2nd grade education. This ad makes the uneducated voters believe the EPA is an entity invented by the current administration, and it’s sole mission is to steal from the rich and give to the illegals. Please allow me to point out a simple TRUTH (yes, truth…it’s a word you’re NOT hearing in ANY of Romney’s ads)(make no mistake, I’m calling the lies in any of the Presidents ads as well).

The EPA (U.S. Environmental Protection Agency) is an agency of the United States federal government which was created for the purpose of protecting human health and the environment by writing and enforcing regulations based on laws passed by Congress. The EPA was proposed by President Richard Nixon and began operation on December 2, 1970. It has the responsibility of maintaining and enforcing national standards under a variety of environmental laws, in consultation with state, tribal, and local governments.

I’ll point out just one of those standards…Water. Because of the EPA and it’s “frivolous regulations”, you don’t have to drink water that can KILL YOU!!!

Here’s a little piece of trivia for you…this particular ad was funded by (among others) corporations who PROFIT from having no regulations keeping them from dumping waste into our water and onto our lands. They WANT to eliminate the EPA, because that would end regulations and send their already through-the-roof profits clear into space…straight through Uranus!! And they know there s only ONE way they can accomplish this…they need to convince YOU that the Kenyan-born, baby-killing, illegal-harboring, gay-loving, military-hating, wrong-colored so-called invader of the White House RUNS the EPA. So you must be scared into voting for ANYONE else (qualified or not) whom they can strong-arm into eliminating this unAmerican corporate bloodsucker.

Bottom line, this isn’t “Their” EPA. These aren’t “Their” regulations. This is YOUR EPA, people. It’s your life and livelihood they protect. They don’t have to answer to corporate lobbyists or corporate dollars. They answer to you. So vote your party if you must. But don’t vote based on a word.

Posted in Common Sense, Indecision 2012, Politics, Today's Rant | Leave a Comment »

Actually, That’s NOT In The Bible

Posted by Daniel on July 21, 2011

A turn to the RIGHT could get you lost!!

Any Wonder WHY I Lean Left???


I remember an interview a while back in which NFL coach Mike Ditka was giving a news conference one day after being fired as the coach of the Chicago Bears when he decided to quote the Bible.

“Scripture tells you that all things shall pass,” a choked-up Ditka said after leading his team to only five wins during the previous season.  “This, too, shall pass.”

Ditka fumbled his biblical citation, though. The phrase “This, too, shall pass” doesn’t appear in the Bible. Ditka was quoting a phantom scripture that sounds like it belongs in the Bible, but look closer and it’s not there.

Ditka’s biblical blunder is as common as preachers delivering long-winded public prayers. The Bible may be the most revered book in America, but it’s also one of the most misquoted. Politicians, motivational speakers, coaches – all types of people  – quote passages that actually have no place in the Bible, religious scholars say.

These phantom passages include:

“God helps those who help themselves.”

“Spare the rod, spoil the child.”

And there is this often-cited paraphrase: “Satan tempted Eve to eat the forbidden apple in the Garden of Eden.”

None of those passages appear in the Bible, and one is actually anti-biblical, scholars say.

But people rarely challenge them because biblical ignorance is so pervasive that it even reaches groups of people who should know better, says Steve Bouma-Prediger, a religion professor at Hope College in Holland, Michigan.

“In my college religion classes, I sometimes quote 2 Hesitations 4:3 (‘There are no internal combustion engines in heaven’),” Bouma-Prediger says. “I wait to see if anyone realizes that there is no such book in the Bible and therefore no such verse.

“Only a few catch on.”

Few catch on because they don’t want to – people prefer knowing biblical passages that reinforce their pre-existing beliefs, a Bible professor says.

“Most people who profess a deep love of the Bible have never actually read the book,” says Rabbi Rami Shapiro, who once had to persuade a student in his Bible class at Middle Tennessee State University that the saying “this dog won’t hunt” doesn’t appear in the Book of Proverbs.

It’s true…they have memorized parts of texts that they can string together to prove the biblical basis for whatever it is they believe in, but they ignore the vast majority of the text.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as guilty.  Being raised in a pseudo-Catholic family, my rubber-stamp response to anyone who might ask of my religious proclivities is: “I’m catholic…We never really read the bible.  We just took everybody’s word for it.”

Phantom biblical passages work in mysterious ways

Ignorance isn’t the only cause for phantom Bible verses. Confusion is another.

Some of the most popular faux verses are pithy paraphrases of biblical concepts or bits of folk wisdom.

Consider these two:

“God works in mysterious ways.”  (I usually say it thus: “The Lord works in mysterious, inefficient, and, breath-takingly cruel ways.”)

“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”  (So by that logic, I could say: “Can’t find a napkin?  Use a tortilla.”)

Both sound as if they are taken from the Bible, but they’re not. The first is a paraphrase of a 19th century hymn by the English poet William Cowper who said: “God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform.”

The “cleanliness” passage was coined by John Wesley, the 18th century evangelist who founded Methodism.

No matter if John Wesley or someone else came up with a wise saying – if it sounds proverbish, people figure it must come from the Bible.

Our fondness for the short and tweet-worthy may also explain our fondness for phantom biblical phrases. The pseudo-verses function like theological tweets: They’re pithy summarizations of biblical concepts.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” falls into that category. It’s a popular verse – and painful for many kids. Could some enterprising kid avoid the rod by pointing out to his mother that it’s not in the Bible?

It’s doubtful. Her possible retort: The popular saying is a distillation of Proverbs 13:24: “The one who withholds [or spares] the rod is one who hates his son.”

Another saying that sounds Bible-worthy: “Pride goes before a fall.” But its approximation, Proverbs 16:18, is actually written: “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

There are some phantom biblical verses for which no excuse can be offered. The speaker goofed.

They Started It!!!!

When phantom Bible passages turn dangerous

People may get verses wrong, but they also mangle plenty of well-known biblical stories as well.

Two examples: The scripture never says a whale swallowed Jonah, the Old Testament prophet, nor did any New Testament passages say that three wise men visited baby Jesus, scholars say.

Those details may seem minor, but scholars say one popular phantom Bible story stands above the rest: The Genesis story about the fall of humanity.

Most people know the popular version – Satan in the guise of a serpent tempts Eve to pick the forbidden apple from the Tree of Life. It’s been downhill ever since.

But the story in the book of Genesis never places Satan in the Garden of Eden.

Genesis mentions nothing but a serpent.  Not only does the text not mention Satan, the very idea of Satan as a devilish tempter postdates the composition of the Garden of Eden story by at least 500 years.

Getting biblical scriptures and stories wrong may not seem significant, but it can become dangerous.

Most people have heard this one: “God helps those that help themselves.” It’s another phantom scripture that appears nowhere in the Bible, but many people think it does. It’s actually attributed to Benjamin Franklin, one of the nation’s founding fathers.

The passage is popular in part because it is a reflection of cherished American values: individual liberty and self-reliance.

Yet that passage contradicts the biblical definition of goodness: defining one’s worth by what one does for others, like the poor and the outcast.

Citing a scripture from Leviticus that tells people that when they harvest the land, they should leave some “for the poor and the alien” (Leviticus 19:9-10), and another passage from Deuteronomy that declares that people should not be “tight-fisted toward your needy neighbor.”

We often infect the Bible with our own values and morals, not asking what the Bible’s values and morals really are.

Where do these phantom passages come from?

It’s easy to blame the spread of phantom biblical passages on pervasive biblical illiteracy. But the causes are varied and go back centuries.

Some of the guilty parties are anonymous, lost to history. They are artists and storytellers who over the years embellished biblical stories and passages with their own twists.

If, say, you were an anonymous artist painting the Garden of Eden during the Renaissance, why not portray the serpent as the devil to give some punch to your creation? And if you’re a preacher telling a story about Jonah, doesn’t it just sound better to say that Jonah was swallowed by a whale, not a “great fish”?

Others blame the spread of phantom Bible passages on King James, or more specifically the declining popularity of the King James translation of the Bible.

That translation, which marks 400 years of existence this year, had a near monopoly on the Bible market as recently as 50 years ago.  If you quoted the Bible and got it wrong then, people were more likely to notice because there was only one text.  Today, so many different translations are used that almost no one can tell for sure if something supposedly from the Bible is being quoted accurately or not.

Others blame the spread of phantom biblical verses on Martin Luther, the German monk who ignited the Protestant Reformation, the massive “protest” against the excesses of the Roman Catholic Church that led to the formation of Protestant church denominations.

It is a great Protestant tradition for anyone – milkmaid, cobbler, or innkeeper – to be able to pick up the Bible and read for herself. No need for a highly trained scholar or cleric to walk a lay person through the text.  But often the milkmaid, the cobbler – and the NFL coach – start creating biblical passages without the guidance of biblical experts.

You can see this manifest today in living room Bible studies across North America where lovely Christian people, with no training whatsoever, drink decaf, eat brownies and ask each other, ‘What does this text mean to you?’’

Not only do they get the interpretation wrong, but very often end up quoting verses that really aren’t there.

Posted in Common Sense, Religion | Leave a Comment »

Love Isn’t Timed With A Stopwatch

Posted by Daniel on November 7, 2010

Missed it by THAT much!!!

I Hate Playing "Beat The Clock"!!

This past week, it occurred to me that I had, as it turned out, missed what appeared to be a big chance to accidentally-on-purpose step in the way of, and be hit by Cupid’s all-too-elusive arrow.

I was sad for that loss, of course…because aren’t we all (excluding those that want to have their cake and eat it, too) hoping for love?  Looking for it?  Praying for it?  Oh sure, it’s always better not to look for love, rather we should let love find us, right?  I mean, that is the common wisdom going around, yes?

Ordinarily I’m right there with you on that.  I don’t think I’ve EVER actually looked for love.  Instead, love has always found me.  And when that arrow hit me, (all six times!!) it buried itself so damned deeply that it couldn’t be taken out.

Anyone remember that duck in Illinois that some asshole shot with a bow and arrow and the duck survived?  The arrow was actually sticking through the ducks’ neck and yet the duck lived a normal life.  Everyone was afraid to catch it and remove the arrow for fear that, in itself, would actually kill the little critter.  Hmmm…don’t know exactly what ever happened to it or how long it lived after that.  But I do know one thing…

I have BEEN that duck!!!  Six times in my life I’ve been in love and six times I was left wandering around with an arrow through my neck.

I feel your pain, Daffy!!

Been There...Duck That

This time, however, I’ve decided it’s time to have that sucker removed!!  And it was.  And as many of you know, it damned near killed me.


I say “literally” because the last love that was given to me, then without reason or warning, yanked away from me in EVERY insulting way so that it could be handed to someone else apparently more deserving.  Yeah, folks, Seth almost killed me.

But dammit…I survived!!  In spite of all the wrongs done to me, and despite being left quite literally in the street, I have begun the fight back to normalcy.

This brings me to today’s post.

Not very long ago, I began talking to someone who, as it turns out, was probably the finest person I’d met in many years.  He lives in Massachusetts, and is, by all accounts, probably the closest to perfect as you’ll ever find.  Save for one aspect…

Because of his past bad encounters with Cupid’s arrows, (and hey, we’ve all been there, right?), he had decided to put himself, as well as his pursuit of love on something of a time frame.  While I think that’s a bit odd, not to mention rather limiting, I guess he’s just had enough of the meat market atmosphere and all the fakery and let-downs.  And who can blame him, right?

I have to admit, over time and through many conversations on the phone, texts, emails and online chats, I was smitten.  At the same time, I was fighting like hell trying to start a new life (such that Seth had left me with) by moving to Boston (which had nothing to do with the guy in question, mind you).  I worked my ass of trying to save for the trip.  Fought like the dickens to get my work transfer pushed through.

Funny thing about having to start off in life where Seth left me…seems everyone ELSE was holding all the cards and making ALL the decisions for me and I wasn’t allowed ANY input.

All the while, I was intensely aware that this mans “love clock” was ticking down minute by minute…day by day.  And I was getting closer to losing any opportunity of finding out if he could be the one.

Longer story short…

My work decided to drag ass on my transfer…so that (coupled with my ex’s ever-changing promises due to “things change”) pretty much pissed away my chances – at least for now – of moving east.  And, in the process, that wonderful man also decided I wasn’t worth that wait, or else I just didn’t make the deadline.

Needless to say, I was pretty bummed out over BOTH losses…especially the fact that once that deadline came and went, he just completely blew me off.  Guess the calendar told him more about me than I did.  I mean, just how is a guy to get a break when everyone else is pulling the strings???

But then I thought about it.  And while I was saddened to think I was, in an off-beat way, dumped by someone over a calendar date, it forced me to realize that I am better than that.

I am NOT a circle on a calendar…nor an “X”.  I am a person.  A very good person with a heart of gold, a very sharp wit, MUCH to offer the right person, and WORTH the wait in the end.

While I do respect his decision to take charge of his love life and his pursuit OF love…I feel a tiny bit sad for people who come to such a rash decision as to limit loves parameters.  We can’t tell Cupid where to come from, nor can we say it’s going to happen by this date or not at all.

Funny thing about love, readers…it’s messy and hard and wondrous and awe-inspiring.  We can no more limit it’s freedom to hit us from WHATEVER source or direction than we can limit the sun’s warm embrace.  Love is, in a way, a living breathing entity that cannot be captured and put into a jar for our amusement, only to be free’d at our whim.  In that way, it never fails that we tend to forget to poke holes in the cap so that it can breath…and only when we see that it has died do we dump it out and try to capture it alive again.

Like a butterfly (or Madame Butterfly, to those in on the joke) we have to let it remain free to flutter around and land on us at IT’S choosing.

So, while I do most sincerely hope nothing BUT the best for my sweet funny friend in MA on his pursuit/non-pursuit of that elusive arrow…I remain ever confident that that arrow will again find me all on its own.

And lately, I’ve been feeling the urge to check my butt cheek for a red dot…because a butterfly just landed on it…and Cupid has it in his laser sights!!

Posted in Cat Shit, Common Sense, Life, Love - Or Something Like It | Leave a Comment »

The Hard Truth About Living A Lie

Posted by Daniel on June 14, 2010

Not IF He Never Comes Back

Dear Readers:

You’ve been wondering where I’ve been for the past several months. Well,truth is I’ve been right here all along. Staring at the computer unable to form a cohesive thought to write because of recent events. And I’m going to share those events with YOU, because I feel it could (in some small way, possibly) help the next poor sap out there who feels they can never have their better half tear their hearts out in ways you NEVER thought they could. Causing you to say and think things to/about them that you NEVER imagined yourself EVER thinking.

What you’re about to read was a project assigned to me by the head of a group session I’ve been attending for the past 6 weeks. The group is for those in relationships who were jilted in emotionally traumatic ways by someone who, as it turned out, dumped them.

The project for last week was to have a written letter (written TO the one who left us) saying EVERYTHING we were otherwise too weak or messed up to say to that person IN person. The first half of the letter was to serve as a mirror FOR the people who dumped us…the last part was to be a mirror to US to show what we really feel, no matter how messed up it seemed.

It’s pretty hard to read, but believe me when I say, it was a billion times harder to write. Funny thing is, I did it without a single edit. Strange how a broken heart can say it all on the first draft.

Thanks, again, for being so patient these past several months, but as you’ll see from the following, it’s been pretty hard to muster up the strength or the time to write fun pieces about politics or angry shit about oil spills of late.

Also, I KNOW there are going to be the usual people out there who read this and want to tell me that this is not an appropriate forum with which to expose/spill all of the following. To them I say, this is MY website where I get to vent MY life and rants and thoughts. I certainly don’t intend for ANYONE to be offended by what they’re about to read, but it IS part of MY life and My healing. Besides, I know that as much as HE wants to read this letter, he won’t out of fear of what it says.

So, here is where I’ve been all this time…


Dear Seth,

I’ve been trying for months to come up with the right words to say to you regarding everything you’ve been doing over the past nine (+) months and, as a result of that, everything you’ve done. There are no easy ways of expressing my feelings without giving it to you straight and to the point.

So here goes…

I hate everything you have become. I hate everything you’ve done, not only to me but everybody else around you, including our animals. I think you became a very weak-minded person who decided it was easier to take advantage of me and our situation than to be the real man I KNEW you to be and resist bullshit temptation. Even you know that too much partying leads to bad things.

While I am very proud to have heard you actually use the word “inappropriate” to describe your behavior, it still pains me that you continue down that same road, even now knowing just HOW inappropriate you’re actions have been.

You started breaking up with me over a year ago and you still, to this day, won’t admit it to me. You mistakenly convince yourself that I am too fragile minded to handle even the simplest truth about what you’ve done. You underestimate me at every turn with every lie of omission. The truth of the matter is that you fell into a lifestyle that even YOU knew was wrong and immoral and yet you still want to live that way.

I knew when you cheated on me almost the very first time. Don’t keep denying it because I KNOW you did. What pains me most about that (other than I TRUSTED YOU and you KNEW it was wrong!!) is the fact that you just kept doing it. And the proof is out there…too many witnesses. I loved you, Seth. I trusted you implicitly. I trusted you with my life because you TOLD me I could. Then one day you decided what we were struggling to build together wasn’t worth it anymore. So you slowly but surely decided to begin to emotionally and physically move on away from me and US and never bothered to tell me about it. You actually thought I would never find out what you’d been doing. At least until you were good and gaw-damned ready to tell me. Wrong move.

I thought you loved me. I trusted every time you told me that. I BELIEVED YOU every time. Because of that, it wasn’t hard to notice when you began to not say it to me unless I said it to you. Then you just STOPPED saying it altogether. You stabbed the heart you were trusted with, Seth.

I knew a long time ago that you have always been impressed with people who knew people because if you got close to them, doors would open for you. Funny thing is, ever since you started down the path you are on now, just how close to those dreams ARE you now???

I KNEW what your attraction to Todd was (and I KNOW you were in love with him, which makes you a cheater there, too) and I KNEW that was why you never wanted me invited to ANYTHING you two ever did. And I DO know EVERYTHING you two did!!! You were wrong for doing that. Using him for personal gain. And you were wrong for treating me like I didn’t exist during that time.

Then there are all the guys you’ve been exchanging dic-pics and videos with since at LEAST early last year. You’re a piece of shit for doing that, because you KNEW it was wrong, but you decided what Daniel doesn’t know won’t hurt him. How fucking wrong you were. How fucking wrong you ARE!!

I know your guilt. I’ve been through this shit before and with assholes who were (to a point) MUCH better at covering the tracks of their lies and cheating. But I’m going to give you one gift here…I am going to confess something to YOU!! I have, in the ENTIRE TIME we were supposedly “together”, lied to you exactly ONE time.

I DID LOOK THROUGH YOUR PHONE!!! And after MUCH digging and MANY hours of scanning, discovered MANY things you were doing even BEFORE Todd came into the picture.

To this very day, I STILL cry about lying to you about that. Because I love you and yet I still broke one of my own rules…

3) NO FIGHTING (arguing is good – fighting isn’t)

But even you said it, you didn’t leave me any options because you were hanging FAR TOO MANY secrets over me and OUR lives. And yet…

Two wrongs do NOT make a right, and I do, with all my heart, owe you an apology for lying to you about that. And I truly AM sorry.

So many times since all of this started, Seth, I asked you “why??”.  Every time your answer was, “I don’t know.  I can’t seem to figure that out.  So I can’t give you a solid reason.”  And to this very day, you still won’t tell me why you threw a GOOD life away for whatever the hell you’re living now.  So once again, you get away with everything scott-free.

I never cheated on you.  I never lied to you.  I sacrificed EVERYTHING for you.  I made ALL of the concessions and sacrifices because I loved you.  I wouldn’t even allow you to walk to work (two blocks away) because I didn’t want you to have to walk.  Instead, I walked, and I work almost a mile down the street!!  In the heat.  In the rain.  I got hit by a GD car and STILL I walked so that YOU wouldn’t have to.  Many times, I walked because you took the truck overnight to “a friends’ house” and I was FORCED to walk to work because you never came home!!

So you had it pretty good here, Seth.  You had someone who devoted his LIFE to making yours better.  Someone who supported you and had your back NO MATTER WHAT!!  Someone who loved you unconditionally, with no strings attached, with no price tag, with no regret.  How many times and to how many people (including me) did you say, “I can’t possibly imagine not being with Daniel.  I KNOW that we were made for one another.  I love him with all my heart.”???  One month later, I find out that you’d been cheating on me.

As I said, I pretty much know what you were trying to gain by falling in love with Todd. You had a FEW similar interests and he had the POTENTIAL to introduce you to others you might see as possible windows of opportunity. Fine. I couldn’t provide you with that kind of life (YET), so you began falling in “love” with him. And I KNOW there was “stuff” going on between you two because NO FRIEND has THAT MANY SLEEPOVERS without sex. PERIOD!!

Okay, so there was the attraction to Todd. The other guys you’ve done or not done whatever with? I’ll just chalk that up to you being weak as shit and WAY too social!! But Patrick…!!

Now THIS is something I JUST DON’T FUCKING GET!!! And it’s probably because you DID completely break it off with me BECAUSE of him!!!! You can’t possibly deny what’s right there in front of both of us. YOU’RE WITH HIM!!! YOU LEFT ME TO BE WITH HIM!!! Just be fucking honest with both me AND yourself and admit that!!! I DON’T see the attraction. I don’t see the potential for ANYTHING long-term. Period!! So you fucking left me for a gaw-damned fucking fling. Then you fucking fell in love with him WHILE we were still (supposedly) together!! You’re a fucking callous, cowardly and cruel ASSHOLE for doing that and putting me through all the half-truths (if not outright LIES) for that period from October 17, 2009 until you finally HAD to tell me we were broken up!!! FUCK YOU FOR THAT!!! I deserved better than for YOU (of ALL people) to disrespect and take advantage of me AND OUR LOVE like that!!

Okay, I’ll give you the point…maybe you truly ARE in TRUE love with him. Good for you. I hope you both get what you both so richly deserve out of it. Honestly, I don’t think it’ll last the end of the year, but I’ve been wrong about everything else about you, so hey, congratulations.

Oh, and there are a few other items I have to pick at…you made many promises that you broke. Actually, you broke EVERY promise you ever made.

And this brings me to just WHY you made me write this letter. And I’m not even going into the red-headed Todd who swims naked in his pool, or the other black guys on this part. There just isn’t enough paper to print my feeling out about THAT shit.

It’s going to be in the form of a list, so perhaps that’ll make it easier for you to absorb.

Ready? Here goes…

1) All the “sleepovers” or “I just crashed over at a friends house”. – You had a home and AS a person in a relationship, it was your DUTY to resist any temptations and be responsible for your actions AND to CONSIDER your partners’ feelings IN those actions. You never did.

2) The pic/video exchanges. – No matter HOW YOU saw it EVER (like the one you sent to Vern that you explained away as “It was just a joke”…the same Vern who later attacked the truck with you in it because he felt that you had been leading him on!!), it was wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DID IT!!! And it WAS cheating!!!

3) All that time with Todd. – No matter what the “situations”, you made everything obvious by never having ONCE invited your CURRENT partner to a single get-together with just him and you. You made YOURSELF look guilty with that, and EVERYONE said so. It made me feel that, Todd being the kind of person that I know him to be, you MUST have made him believe that you and I were either an “open relationship”, or separated, or really close friends or whatever. I just doubt he would have taken it so far had he known the TRUTH about us. Correct me if I’m wrong.

4) Your involvement with your CURRENT lover (since day-one). – You began that shit WHILE we were still together and I KNEW you were screwing around with him. From that one night we were on our way home from the bar and you blurted out to me, “Oh and I’m also into black guys.” Never ONCE did you ever even INTIMATE to me in four fucking YEARS anything like that. And DON’T hand me any sense of prejudice shit, either. I love ALL people (unless their fat, retarded, idiots or CHEATERS). I am not prejudice at all. My sexual PREFERENCE is to white guys, but that AIN’T not prejudice. So your fucking (or getting!!!) HIM has no relevance to race. It’s just that when you blurted that shit out to me in the truck, I KNEW you were starting something with him and it just fucking killed me inside. Because the way you were acting with THIS one showed me that you DID fall in love with him and you DID lie to me about IT AND when it started and how you felt about me.

5) During that eight months since you started seeing Patrick, you were lying to me.  You kept telling me everything was going to be ok.  Every time I asked you if you were sleeping with someone else, you’d get mad and tell me NO.  But I knew.  I knew because that person TOLD other people, who told me.  Other people SAW you two together AS a couple.  And all the while, you would try to reassure me that all was well with you and I and to stop worrying about it.  You kept blaming you mood swings (emotional distance) on your history of bouts of depression.  And like the true idiot I was, (knowing the TRUTH) I defended that lie with anyone who asked what was wrong with you.  Maybe you WERE depressed…but I think it was more guilt, though I doubt you acknowledged it as such.  One minute you’d be defending yourself and reassuring me that we, AS A COUPLE, and our relationship was FINE…the next you were telling EVERYONE ELSE that we had already broken up.  You did that FOR EIGHT MONTHS!!  Then when I finally MADE you own up to whether or not we, in fact, WERE OR WERE NOT still a couple, you finally had to tell the truth.  But even THEN, you kept telling me for two MORE months, that you just needed to get through this phase and for me to hold in there because you were doing all of this (CHEATING???) for US.  To fix what was wrong with US.  You told me that you had “lost feelings” for me, but when I asked what feelings, you said you didn’t know.  When you told me you just didn’t know how to appreciate me anymore, I asked WHY.  You had no answer.  You told me we would get back together on the 1st of June if you hadn’t figured out what your problems were by then.  You said that you’d see a psychologist because you had too many internal issues.  None of that ever happened.  You were either placating me…or outright LYING.

All the acts of a weak and intentionally or unintentionally cruel person. AND I KNOW THAT ISN’T REALLY THE TRUE SETH DANIEL LOWE!!!! So stop trying to convince me that that IS how you are!! That’s fucking bullshit!!!

Now it’s time to refresh your memory as to the things you SAID to me that broke my heart each and EVERY time you were proven to be lying, either to me, to yourself or to both of us. And I know how you HATE having your own words thrown back in your face, Seth, but how are you EVER going to learn what NOT to do until someone points out the shit you say that holds no water at the TIME you say it? From the time all this shit started, here’s how you hurt me…in pretty much the order you said and did them…

1) “NONE of this is so that i can sleep with other people or fuck around.” (how’d that work out?)
2) “I’m not going to fall in love with anyone else but you.” (and don’t keep saying it’s not like you PLANNED to…it still turned out to be untrue!!)
3) “We’re not breaking up, I swear. It’s just a hiatus so that I can get over the shit in my head that’s distracting me from US.” (not long after you said this to me, I found out several of your “distractions”.)
4) “We need to try a trial or partial separation. I think that will help me out a lot.” (you made this all about you.)
5) “No, you haven’t done ANYTHING wrong. You’ve been the PERFECT person for me and in ALL the world, you ARE the one person FOR me!!” (you not only said that to me, but to several other people as well. and you wonder why I and everyone else are so fucking shocked about you, soon after, leaving me for Patrick or anyone else???)
6) (to several people) “I resent Daniel because he isn’t working two jobs like I have to do. I can’t keep CARRYING us like this!!!” (I fucking HATE you for that one, Seth!!! We BOTH made the same amount of $$ per month, but I didn’t HAVE to have two jobs to do it!!)
7) “Hiatus and Separation and Break-up all mean the same thing!!!” (no, they fucking don’t!!)
8) “I’m only doing this so that I can get my head together so that we can be what we were.” (do you even remember what we were, Seth?)
9) (after the truth about Patrick came out) “You have to let me go through this. I’m doing this for US.” (no, at this point, you were only thinking with your dick!!!)
10) (soon after that) “You need to try to get yourself together and get over it. You have to be strong.” (no way in HELL to be strong when you spent eight months knocking me down emotionally, ending in you dumping me for HIM!!!)
11) (after you admitted to having sex with Patrick for weeks) “I PROMISE I will end it. No more sex with him. I will stop seeing him completely.  I promise.” (that very night, you spent the night with him and didn’t come home until almost noon the next day.)
12) “Just give me until June 1st. If I haven’t fixed my shit by then, I’ll leave him and we will get back together and find ANOTHER way to solve my issues.” (I knew THAT was bullshit the second you said it)
13) “You don’t think I’m suffering, too???” (at his house…in his arms…yeah, boohoo!!)
14) “It’s NOT my fault you don’t have any friends!! You should have been more social!!” (you mean the way YOU were? No thanks!! I still HAVE my morals. Besides, I was too busy WORKING and SAVING and keeping us afloat while you went out every night spending money!!  And MY friends don’t come with a price tag of “sleep with me or we can’t be friends”) (speaking of morals, see #16)
15) “I know you’re ‘frustrated’. Just go to the computer and “TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS”, then go to bed.” (so easy for the guy who was cheating on me at the time to say)
16) (referring to pending lawsuit settlement) “I only asked if you were going to give me any of that money NOT for the money itself, but because if you had said NO, then I would know your morals had changed.” (who the fuck are YOU to talk to ANYONE, ESPECIALLY ME, about questionable morals??? you cheated on me and lied about it for eight months!!!)

Now, I know what you’ve probably been thinking while reading this. Those same questions are racing through your head:
“Why the fuck didn’t he ever say any of this shit to me before?”
“Where is all of this coming from?”
“Who told him what?”
“Why won’t he ever tell me who said shit about me?”
“What does he really know, and what HASN’T he told me?”

Just keep in mind, Seth, even THROUGH all of this – and it has been torture like you would never comprehend, thanks to you – I will never reveal sources. Mostly because they aren’t always people you talk to every day. But you know each and every one of them and they ALSO know and love you!! Their concerns voiced and pointed out (sometimes in graphic detail) were out of concern FOR you…AND US!!! And I choose not to reveal those names. I don’t have to. Not until you come clean with me on all the names and THINGS you have done since day one. And please, I am a VERY SMART MAN who KNOWS that some things CAN be unintentionally blown out of proportion or lost in translation. I AM smart enough to know that, Seth. But I think what makes you mad is that you know that I KNOW that even fairy tales have SOME basis in truth. Meaning at LEAST 90% of what I know IS true.

Time now to tell you something about the here and now. Believe it or not, this might actually make you even more angry at me than what you’ve read so far, but at this point, I don’t care.


I want you to get your fucking shit together and fucking LEAVE THAT GUY!!! It’s time to fucking grow the fuck up and realize that you had a FUTURE with US. Your insatiable NEED for social acceptance should NEVER have led you to simply throw US AND OURT LOVE AND OUR HISTORY AWAY!!! I am nobody’s gaw-damned Kleenex, Seth and you treated me JUST like one. I want you to give US another try, because that’s what’s SUPPOSED to happen!!! You WERE right about a few things, Seth, and one of those things was that WE ARE made for one another!!

I’ll bet you’re wondering how I can say that in light of everything that’s happened. Because I believe in second chances. I believe in FIGHTING FOR THE ONE I LOVE!! I believe in YOU!!! And I REFUSE to believe you just don’t fucking love me anymore!!! NO WAY my Seffy can be that heartless!!! Just simply no fucking way.

Will I ever be able to forget all that has happened? Probably not. But ONLY because that, too, is now part of my (or our) history. And our history is what makes all of us who we are.

Will I ever forgive? Oh yes. Because that’s what true love really means. When you decide to give the other a second chance, it MUST be with the caveat that there can be NO lording the past over the other person…not even in times of stress or anger. I know this, Seth, because as much of a bitch as I am, I have a heart and I have a brain. So I could nor WOULD NEVER use the past as a weapon against you. I want you back and that means leaving the emotional baggage behind. It isn’t needed or WELCOME on this JOURNEY.

Do you remember what I said to you about how life CAN NOT BE about the destination, but what matters is the journey the two of us are on? It’s still fucking true.

I want you back, Seth. I know that you will say no. I know that you have looked at me in the past as some messy sappy queer who just refuses to get over shit. You would be wrong about that, too. You may have lost sight of what it truly means to be in TRUE love during this period…but I haven’t.

To the contrary, all of this has shown me even more of an appreciation for love, life, those around me, OUR animals, and ESPECIALLY you!!!

Funny thing…I never lost MY appreciation for YOU. I never lost feelings for YOU. I NEVER RESENTED YOU.

Not once. Not though all of this. Not even now.

And no, I DON’T need therapy!! I truly DO know just how much I feel for you and WHY I feel it and whom I love. I am now, and have been throughout all of this (to one extent or another) fully in charge of my faculties and feelings and emotions. You may still OWN my heart, but I truly know what’s in it.

I know that what I’m demanding of you isn’t easy for you. I understand that, unlike for me, you
probably can’t just shut off your feelings for him. I even know that I’m just probably pissing in the wind. But I also KNOW what I truly, madly, deeply feel and I, unlike you, refuse to ignore MY feelings anymore.

You told me at one point I should try being and living single, maybe as a way of dealing with what I feel about you. Yeah, probably. But there’s one thing you keep forgetting, Seth…

I’ve been practically single and recently LIVING single for eight months now!! And I’ve been through hell and back when it comes to all of the emotions that came with that realization. I think that in your mind, I haven’t given myself time or the chance to let go and move on and heal. Not true. I have tried for MONTHS (through each lonely day and night) to see things AS a single person, because that is exactly what you MADE me when you started all of this. Yes, it’s been so very hard trying to convince myself that I’m not in love with you anymore (as I know you haven’t been in love with me for a long time). I’ve gone out, socialized, (more than you know) made some new friends and made connections not only to some nice high-up people, but also to a group of people who share my experiences.

In a way, that helped me get through the horrid range of emotions that you caused me to go through…mostly alone. And that’s the key word here, Seth…you basically made me go through it all alone. Sure, when you WERE here, we’d talk and you’d do your best to talk me down from whatever emotional ledge I happened to be on that particular day. But then you’d just leave.

And that hurt so much.

But I still think I deserve to be with you. I DO think you ARE ready and DO deserve to be with ME.

If, however, you just flat out and HONESTLY tell me that you CAN’T EVER be in love with me, please just tell me.

Just one more question, Seth…please, Honey, PLEASE, just tell me WHY you DID all of this. The REAL reason(s). No more placating or omissions. Just the truth. Said to…

Your friend…Me (Daniel)

Posted in Bad Advice Meant Well, Common Sense, GLBT, Life, Our Writings, Today's Rant | Leave a Comment »

The Origin of Our Species Has Been Revealed

Posted by Daniel on September 21, 2009


I think the hate crime baiting, oft-asked question of where the hell gays come from (or how are they made?) has, at long last, been finally and definitively answered.

Or has it?

I always thought it was genetic (which I KNOW it is).

But some have said it’s environmentally caused.

Or perhaps those of us similarly blessed were just suckled or coddled (or both) by our moms waaaaay too long.

There are plenty of theories as to how gays come into being. And on this particular subject, I tend to think that anyone who DOESN’T think a person is born gay obviously was born with THEIR head up THEIR ass. Like my view on opinions, which I will divulge later.

I bring all of this up because of what happened during yet another Republican wound-licking event called the “Value Voters Summit”. I won’t bore you with all the lies, drivel, hypocrisy, pandering bull shit they vomited out to their way-too-overly-excited crowd of toothless white trash who are suckling at the governmental teats of Medicare while bitching about the possibility of “Barack The Magic Negro” (Rush Limbaugh played that fucking song again on his show during the summit) getting government into their healthcare.

No…I won’t go into that crap.

But I will talk about the latest piece of wedge-issue shit the Republicans are now throwing out as red meat to their hungry white trashy minions.

Brace yourself…



That pearl of wisdom came from Michael Schwartz, chief of staff for Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK).

At the Family Research Council’s Values Voters Summit, Family Research Council Senior Fellow Pat Fagan, Heritage Foundation scholar Matthew Spalding and Michael Schwartz, the chief of staff for Sen. Tom Coburn, held a discussion on “The New Masculinity.” Schwartz, who was the final speaker, said that Fagan wanted him to discuss “how men, who already are good husbands and fathers,” can “change the culture.”

A few minutes into his speech, Schwartz moved to the topic of pornography, calling it a “blight” and a “disease” that parents’ “sons” would encounter. Noting that he was about to get “politically incorrect,” Schwartz said that it is his “observation that boys at that age have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people.

Schwartz claims that his “ex-gay” friend revealed the true secret of how homosexuality is “inflicted on people”:

“And one of the things that he said to me, that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark. He said, “all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.” You know, that’s a, that’s a good comment. It’s a good point and it’s a good thing to teach young people.

But all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. And that in fact is what it does. I know couples now who are struggling with the husband’s addiction to pornography. It’s a terrible thing, and that is what happened to him. You know, if it doesn’t turn you homosexual, it at least renders you less capable of loving your wife.

It is my observation that boys at that age have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people. They speak badly about homosexuality. And that’s because they don’t want to be that way. They don’t want to fall into it. And that’s a good instinct. After all, homosexuality, we know, studies have been done by the National Institute of Health to try to prove that its genetic and all those studies have proved its not genetic. Homosexuality is inflicted on people.”

Schwartz then recalled “a very good friend” of his “who was in the homosexual lifestyle for a long time,” saying that he “had good conversations about, about the malady that he suffered.” He then relayed “an astonishingly insightful remark” his friend had made about the relationship between pornography and being gay:

SCHWARTZ: And one of the things that he said to me, that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark. He said, “all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.” You know, that’s a, that’s a good comment. It’s a good point and it’s a good thing to teach young people.

Schwartz then added a slight caveat, saying, “if it doesn’t turn you homosexual, it at least renders you less capable of loving your wife. And it’s something you need to be healed of.”

Okay GOP…regarding the above outlined hate speech, I have not heard even ONE of you counter that or even so much as distance yourself from it. And I have been scanning and reading every media outlet FOR that rebuttal (both video and print). No one. Not one of you.

So, as I told Seth a couple of months ago:

DANIEL: “Mark my words…The GOP is already burning through their small stack of wedge issues – which shows their desperation – and I promise you the next wedge issue they throw out there will be about gays.”

And viola!! The GOP NEVER proves me wrong. (sometimes that tends to get a little scary)

You all can be the judges of the latest GOP theory.

But for you Republickers out there who are STILL not sure how to pick a real gay out of a crowd (because they threw down the latest issue of AssMasters), I’ve thoughtfully provided you with the following checklist to aid you in your continued efforts to “LOVE THY NEIGHBOR” and not “BEARING FALSE WITNESS”.

Happy hunting:

1. We could care less who Brittany Spears is sleeping with.
2. We understand the differences between 27 brands of imported Chardonnay.
3. We can call anyone “honey” including pets.
4. We know someone who was in the emergency room with Richard Gere and the gerbil.
5. We understand the immense importance of quality lighting.
6. We can be at a crowded disco the size of a baseball field and still spot a toupee.
7. We can tell a woman we love her bathing suit, and truly mean her bathing suit.
8. We can explain the nuances between steady date, boyfriend and lover.
9. We really have “Been there, Done that.”
10. Our women friends will tell us everything we want to know about their boyfriends.
11. We’re the only type of male who gets to say “fabulous.”
12. We can have naked pictures of men we don’t know in our house.
13. We can have naked men we don’t know at our house.
14. We know how to handle the telephone like a Stradivarius.
15. We understand why God invented spandex.
16. We understand why God didn’t intend everyone to wear it.
17. We know how to get back at just about everyone. And have.
18. We know that the most important part of a party’s decor is the catering staff.
19. We only wear polyester when we mean to.
20. We can smile to let someone know we hate them.
21. We can freeze a troll from 20 feet away.
22. We’re good pals with women other people can’t stand.
23. We’ve always got an opinion.
24. We’ve read the book, seen the movie, done the musical.
25. We know how to dress strategically.
26. Our car has an amusing female name.
27. We’re the only one at our reunion who looks better than you did in high school.
28. We know that sex complicates things. So?
31. We know that being called a “cheap slut” isn’t actually an insult.
32. There’s a married guy somewhere who is terrified of us.
33. Nobody tells us what to do in bed…unless we tell them what to tell us.
34. We have a medicine chest stocked for any occasion.
35. We have at least one movie musical on video.
36. We’re not embarrassed to sing in a piano bar.
37. We’re embarrassed by people who sing in piano bars.
38. We never hold a grudge for longer than a decade or two.
39. We know how to make an entrance.
40. We know when to make an exit.
41. We worry about people we don’t even know – like Barack Obama.
42. We choose the most fabulous greeting cards.
43. We know how to program our VCR.
44. We’ve got sunscreen at every conceivable SPF level.
45. We have a cologne display worthy of Bloomingdales.
46. We understand, viscerally, Joan Crawford.
47. Some of our best friends are our ex lovers.
48. We know when to play dumb.
49. We know what to do for a hangover.
50. Yes, we do have a condom.
51. We’ve called someone “girlfriend” who is neither a girl nor a friend.
52. One or more of the following apply to us:

  • a) We adore Lady GaGa.
  • b) We hate Lady GaGa.
  • c) We hate people who adore Lady GaGa.
  • d) We hate people who hate Lady GaGa.
  • e) We don’t give a damn about Lady GaGa.
  • f) Who is Lady GaGa?

53. You can supply the last names to the following list:

  • a) Bernadette
  • b) Chita
  • c) Barbra

54. We made Donna Summer a star.
55. We made Donna Summer a has-been.
56. Tanning salons were invented for us.
57. We’ve made sunbathing a performance art.
58. We know when the party’s over.
59. We know where to go after the party’s over.
60. We’re fearless about fighting the elements, especially gravity.
61. When we hear “a stitch in time saves nine” we think of

  • a) Our grandma
  • b) Our face lift
  • c) John Wayne Bobbit

62. We know that pigs and bears are not necessarily rural wildlife.
63. Our roommate can be our roommate and not our “roommate.”
64. We know that referring to someone as “a real lady” isn’t necessarily a compliment.
65. Our favorite dinner accessory may also be our dinner companion.
66. If our cat is a female, we swear it’s a lesbian.
67. If our cat is a male, we swear it’s a lesbian.
68. We sing along with songs that make most females cringe, like “Stand by your man”.
69. We’ve been to a bris, a barmitzvah, a christening, a first communion and too many weddings and we have a carefully considered evaluation of the food after each.
70. We’ll never have to hear our mother complain about our wife.
71. A two-seater convertible seems perfectly practical to us.
72. We have a favorite Disney character and it’s usually a nasty one.
73. We’ve left someone totally speechless.
74. We’ve shaved something other than our face.
75. All our friends do not have to “get along”.
76. We have a large collection of anniversary pictures. They may be with different guys, however.
77. Our love handles are actually used as such.
78. When someone turns his back on us, we actually consider it an opportunity.
79. We’ve got a large assortment of movie-star biographies.
80. We’ve got the most interesting coffee table books.
81. We know where to find a meat rack and it ain’t in our kitchen drawer.
82. We have a sexual persuasion with its own flag.
83. At some moment in our life we’ve envisioned having back-up girls.
84. We know our enemies.
85. After a workout at the gym, we feel like a new man. And he’s right there in the shower.
86. We’re Lady GaGa’s biggest fan.
87. We know that Lady GaGa’s biggest fan is Lady GaGa.
88. Not only have we added spice to our life – sometimes we’ve added side dishes.
89. We know that “small talk” can be about spirituality or politics, and “important issues” can be about hair.
90. We’ve actually lived out some of our fantasies.
91. Unlike most straight women, we have no problem being treated solely as a sex object.
92. We have no doubts about the accuracy of the Kinsey Report.
93. We know, by heart, every line in:

  • a) All about Eve
  • b) The Rocky Horror Picture Show
  • c) Our face

94. We are ALWAYS ready for our close-up.
95. We have 412 ways to tell someone to get lost. 136 are non-verbal.
96. We can lip-sync to at least one Supreme’s song.
97. We have a carefully selected Yiddish vocabulary.
98. Even if we’re in Kansas, we’re not in Kansas anymore.
99. We know exactly how many martinis it takes.
100. When throwing a party, we know how to put out quite a spread. Sometimes after the party too.

There now…did ANY of that include porn?!?! Yeah, I thought not.

Thanks for letting me blow another one of your shitty views out of the water.

Posted in Common Sense, GLBT | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Who They Are Talking To?

Posted by Daniel on August 14, 2009

The People Obama Is Talking To

The People Obama Is Talking To


The People Republicans Are Talking To

The People Republicans Are Talking To

Posted in Common Sense, Politics, Today's Rant | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

What Does Your Doormat Say About You?

Posted by Daniel on August 12, 2009

Watching the news lately has been taxing, not to mention frustrating.

It does, however, prove that there really are a lot more stupid people in this country than I had ever imagined.

And by “stupid” I mean…

  • Ignorant
  • Prejudiced
  • Racist
  • Weak-Minded
  • Suspender-Wearing
  • Clod-Hopping
  • Robot-Fearing

…and there are so many more adjectives I could throw out there, but that would just be overkill.

This whole Healthcare Reform issue is a great example. It really says a lot about how dumb people here are when they will scream at the top of their tobacco-blocked lungs how they don’t want government getting involved in their healthcare…all the while they are enjoying the benefits of Medicare/Medicaid/VA.

I say if you want to spout out such ridiculous proof of your 3rd grade edumacashun, then you should also be DENIED Medicare!!! But then you’d bitch about losing your God-given right to government-provided healthcare.

I swear, those of you wanting to regurgitate the utterly fucked up bumper sticker tag lines handed down to you by your God-fearing Representatives/Senators deserve exactly what you are bitching about…no benefits from the government whatsoever!!! Seriously, you think the government should stay out of your life and not put it’s finger in your personal peanut butter jar?


Better & Cleaner Than The "Death Panels"

Better & Cleaner Than The "Death Panels"

Then send your name to Washington so that they can boot your ignorant ass out of ANYTHING provided to your hypocritical ass BY the government. This includes your healthcare, your Marriage Rights/Benefits, etc.

Maybe YOU should all take your weak-minded society-sucking behinds TO those made-up “Death Panels” and really put them to some good use.

This all kind of reminds me of our current search for the perfect new doormat.

(go with me on this…)

Seth and I have been trying to find something appropriate to put outside the front door.  And us being the way we are, we want it to practically SCREAM “us”.  I thought this would be a relatively simple task, considering we are pretty “simple” people (okay, so when some people called us that, they may have meant that in a different way than I would have).

At first, I wanted something bordering on tasteful and a smidge formal.  It’s the latent pretension in me, I suppose.  I mean, who doesn’t want those standing outside their front door (leaning heavily on the overworked doorbell) to know they are visiting class and taste?

But then Seth reminded me of just how weird we truly are and that that, in itself, called for something more befitting our strangeness and insanity.  He has a point, after all…we DID name our dog “Kitty” and our cat “Puppy”.

He really has his heart set on one that says “Go Away”.  Ironic, considering how much he wants more people to visit.

I think I have found one that – taking into account our modest-yet-lived-in furnishings (not to mention our limited mental capacity) – pretty much sums it all up.

What do you think…..?

If you've ever visited, you'd know it's true.

If you've ever visited, you'd know it's true.

So, you’re probably wondering what all of this has to do with the current healthcare debate, right?

Well to me (and keep in mind, I’m kinda messed up) it reminds me of how a lot of politicians pick and choose certain words/sound bites that they know will appeal to certain kinds of people.  They know they have no tangible argument to support their condemnation of an issue (such as healthcare reform, gay marriage, social security to name a few) and also have absolutely no alternative ideas.  So they look out to their waeker-minded constituents and hand them some fancified words that will scare them into a frenzy…even if what they are being fed is untrue and irrelevant.

These politicians send their minions out door-to-door and there is one little bit of data they collect that I’ll bet you never thought of.

That’s right…their doormats.

Here’s what stands out to them:

“God Bless America”

“Wipe Your Paws”

“Home Sweet Home”

“Welcome” (the “W” is four times larger than the rest of the word)

Anything Sports-Related or with a Cross-Stitch Needlework Pattern

These people tend to be (percentage-wise) more Republican/Conservative-leaning and yes, this data is collected and retained.  These folks are also more likely to spread any unfounded rumors (many times unwittingly) that are shoved into their heads, either at their front door, in the mail, at the pizza parlor, church, etc.

It’s true.

Don’t believe me?



Just go up to any home with elderly people who have a “God Lives In My Garden” doormat and tell them the government is going to put ROBOTS in charge of their Medicare and watch them poop dust.

So when I watch the news and see yet another kookie wild-blonde-haired old lady asking another Democratic Senator or Representative, “Do you read the Qur’an?”, it just shows me the Republicans/Conservatives/Pharma/Health Insurance Industry has found yet-another cat hair-covered doormat to belch out their rhetoric for them.

And they will stop at nothing in order to wipe their feet on the rest of us.

Oh, and by the way, here’s the doormat I actually picked out for OUR doorstep…

Yeah, just like us, it's reversable.

Yeah, just like us, it's reversable.

Depends on your view…

This pleases Seth.

This pleases Seth.

Posted in Common Sense, Life, Our Writings, Politics, Today's Rant | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Lessons To Learn

Posted by Daniel on June 26, 2009

You know, I’ve heard so much about how gay people just want to make everyone else gay.

Well, first off, I would hope the hell NOT!!!  Because, and forgive the brutal honesty, most of you hetero’s out there just don’t have the looks or style to carry off such a trait.  And your taste in fashion and furniture… peeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwww!!!

Besides, I would hate for you to have to go through the schooling WE had to contend with.  I mean really…I had to re-take “LUBE-101″ twice before I could move on to the next course…which was NO elective…”Moisturizing and Products”.

Just take a gay-ander at this:

This ain’t no Romper Room, bitches!!!

Oh, and then there were the required toys that we had to play with:

Then, before we graduate, we have to go through the finals:

And then we have to try being Jocks:

Then we get all gussied up and have a parade:

And lets not forget when we finally pair up and start nesting:

(Just a note…we don’t usually keep a German soundtrack playing in our house, nor do we break into interpretive dance when there is a grease fire in the kitchen.  And who the fuck designed “Christopher”???)

Wanna argue against gay Marriage?…:

So watch out, America…we’re out to turn you around.

And you’d better hope that’s the ONLY way we turn you!!!


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Posted in Common Sense, GLBT, Just For Fun, Our Writings | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Permanently Positively Pouting Palin

Posted by Daniel on June 25, 2009


Sarah Palin is, once again, responding forcefully and dramatically to a perceived attack on one of her children, this time attacking an Alaska blogger who edited a picture of her and her baby son, Trig, to replace Trig’s face with the image of a conservative Alaska talk show host, Eddie Burke.

The emailed response from Palin’s spokesman, Meghan Stapleton, seemed as staged and melodramatic as everything else that comes out of the Governor:

Recently we learned of a malicious desecration of a photo of the Governor and baby Trig that has become an iconic representation of a mother’s love for a special needs child.

The mere idea of someone doctoring the photo of a special needs baby is appalling. To learn that two Alaskans did it is absolutely sickening. Linda Kellen Biegel, the official Democrat Party blogger for Alaska, should be ashamed of herself and the Democratic National Committee should be ashamed for promoting this website and encouraging this atrocious behavior.

Babies and children are off limits. It is past time to restore decency in politics and real tolerance for all Americans. The Obama Administration sets the moral compass for its party. We ask that special needs children be loved, respected and accepted and that this type of degeneracy be condemned.

Let’s break this down, shall we?

  1. “Malicious Desecration”?  Who the hell does Palin think this photo was OF, anyway…The Virgin Mother Palin holding the Child Trig???  What self-flattery and gaul!!!
  2. “Iconic Representation of a Mother’s Love”?  Excuse me, but aren’t you the one who keeps hauling these kids out onto the stage and shoving them in front of every camera you see coming at you?
  3. You’re sickened that it was two Alaskans that doctored the photo?  So would be fine with it if some sick twisted faggot like me here in California had done it?  Believe me, Sarah, I truly wish I HAD thought of it before, because I thought it was fucking hilarious…oh, and I knew who the picture was aimed at…just like you did…contrary to your fake anger.
  4. “The Democratic National Committee should be ashamed…”  Where the hell has your outrage for all of the doctored photos depicting Obama AND family as watermelon-planting carpetbaggers??? Why didn’t I hear you demanding the republican National Committee be ashamed of the picture they emailed out showing all the presidents portraits, but the one of Obama as a black box with two white eyes peering out?  Or of his face on a food stamp?  Fuck you and your fake anger and overweening ego.
  5. “Time to restore decency in politics and real tolerance for all Americans”? You fake bible-thumping gay-bashing white-trash tea bagging biggots have got some nerve calling for tolerance for ALL Americans, so long as they are the kind YOU like.
  6. “Degeneracy”?  Well, you would know all about that, being the Poster Child of degeneracy.

The blogger, Linda Kellen Biegel, responded in no uncertain terms that she was making fun of Eddie Burke, a talk-radio host on KBYR who is a fervent Palin backer, not of Trig.

“It’s called ‘Baby Burke’ because it’s Eddie Burke…basically his probable second-biggest fantasy about the Governor,” Biegel wrote. “So, connecting the dots for you…WE’RE MAKING FUN OF EDDIE BURKE!!!!!!”

Stapelton also suggested President Obama should speak out against such behavior from liberal activists.

Earlier this month Biegel filed an ethics complaint against Palin for wearing a jacket made by a company that sponsored her husband — a snow mobile racer — to a public event. An investigator ruled Palin had not acted wrongly and the Alaska governor accused Biegel “asinine political grandstanding.”

Seriously, Sarah, who do you think trig should be more angry with? Some writer who used part of his image to make a point about how crooked and fake and utterly useless a politician you are?



Posted in Common Sense, Media Matters, Politics, Today's Rant | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »