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Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

Don’t SHOH8!!!

Posted by Daniel on June 26, 2013

ImageOkay, with all the revelry over today’s landmark and HISTORIC decisions from SCOTUS, there is something I, as a gay American would like to say.

I’ve already seen the hateful venom being poured out on the media and internet from those who adamantly oppose marriage equality. I get that. It’s to be expected. And no amount of talk from myself or anyone else will ever really change many of their minds. This is, after all, based on their sense of morality/beliefs. We can do nothing to sway the diehard Prop 8 and DOMA supporters, other than to go forward as examples of how these decisions in no way threaten them. Religious or political views are, in many cases, something that they can’t change. I respect that. But it’s time to live up to that religious precept of not judging. It really is time.

And to all of my fellow revelers out there…Yes, we have reason to celebrate. This has, indeed, been a long hard-fought battle. But there are two things we, as a community need to remember…First, no matter how long this battle has been, it isn’t nearly won. There is still so very far we have to go to make marriage equality the law of ALL the land…not just parts of it. So celebrate our victories, but don’t put down that banner just yet. And second, in your revelry, please try to show a little class in NOT throwing F-bombs or other vitriolic rhetoric at those who oppose marriage equality. It’s not who we are and not helpful in our cause. In every decision there are winners and losers (not meant in any negative way). Someone wins and someone loses. Today was our day to win and while it’s been a long time in coming, lets try not to sling the same hate back at those who tried to hold us down. 

On that note, major congratulations to those who fought so very hard on our behalf, to those who sacrificed so very much, and to all of us who now are one MAJOR step closer to true equality.

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Posted in GLBT, LGBT, Life, Media Matters, News, Op-Ed, Politics, Religion | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Special Rights For Compassionate Christians

Posted by Daniel on November 5, 2011

Stupid is as stupid does (or teaches).

As the stigma of homosexuality fades from public discourse, people are becoming more open about their sexuality and doing so at an earlier age. This is a sign of a healthy society. Yet, there is a segment of society that is deeply disturbed by this trend and it manifests itself in our schools as anti-gay bullying. The result has been a rash of suicide among gay teens across the country.

In an effort to stop this mindless harassment, Michigan is in the middle of passing “Matt’s Safe School Law” (official title SB 137) named for 14-year old Matt Eppling, a gay teen that committed suicide in 2002 as a result of bullying. Sounds like a reasonable response but that’s only if you’re a normal person. To a Republican, SB 137 steps on our constitutional right to hound someone until they kill themselves.

The exact language inserted by Republicans:

THIS SECTION DOES NOT ABRIDGE THE RIGHTS UNDER THE FIRST AMENDMENT OF THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OR UNDER ARTICLE I OF THE STATE CONSTITUTION OF 1963 OF A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE, SCHOOL VOLUNTEER, PUPIL, OR A PUPIL’S PARENT OR GUARDIAN. THIS SECTION DOES NOT PROHIBIT A STATEMENT OF A SINCERELY HELD RELIGIOUS BELIEF OR MORAL CONVICTION OF A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE, SCHOOL VOLUNTEER, PUPIL, OR A PUPIL’S PARENT OR GUARDIAN. (emphasis mine)

Amen!!!

So if you really believe that homosexuals are evil and immoral, it’s perfectly fine to tell them so as much as you want. Hell, your parents can get in on it, too! You can all get together and scream “You’re a goddamn disgusting fag and you’re gonna burn forever!” whenever you feel like it!

Just so we’re clear: this would be bullying a homosexual student.

But it’s OK because it’s a religious belief! Isn’t it funny how religious conservatives use their religion to excuse so many behaviors the civilized world considers to be immoral? Let’s put it to what I like to call the “Muslim Test”: Would these same tireless defenders of the Constitution allow a group of radical Muslim students to direct their “sincerely held religious  belief” that infidels should be converted or killed at a lone Christian student until that student was good and terrorized?

Don’t be stupid! That would be bullying the poor child and that would be wrong!

Muslim Test: Failed as always.

Once again, we see the Right indulging in its favorite past time: cloaking its bigotry and hate in “religious freedom.” In this instance, the freedom to drive children to suicide over a few cherry picked verses from the Bible. Because nothing says “Love thy neighbor” like bullying people you don’t like.

Read SB 137 here.

Read more about GOP callousness here.

Feel free to tell me what a terrible person I am either here or on Facebook.

Posted in Media Matters, Religion, Today's Rant | Leave a Comment »

Actually, That’s NOT In The Bible

Posted by Daniel on July 21, 2011

A turn to the RIGHT could get you lost!!

Any Wonder WHY I Lean Left???

 

I remember an interview a while back in which NFL coach Mike Ditka was giving a news conference one day after being fired as the coach of the Chicago Bears when he decided to quote the Bible.

“Scripture tells you that all things shall pass,” a choked-up Ditka said after leading his team to only five wins during the previous season.  “This, too, shall pass.”

Ditka fumbled his biblical citation, though. The phrase “This, too, shall pass” doesn’t appear in the Bible. Ditka was quoting a phantom scripture that sounds like it belongs in the Bible, but look closer and it’s not there.

Ditka’s biblical blunder is as common as preachers delivering long-winded public prayers. The Bible may be the most revered book in America, but it’s also one of the most misquoted. Politicians, motivational speakers, coaches – all types of people  – quote passages that actually have no place in the Bible, religious scholars say.

These phantom passages include:

“God helps those who help themselves.”

“Spare the rod, spoil the child.”

And there is this often-cited paraphrase: “Satan tempted Eve to eat the forbidden apple in the Garden of Eden.”

None of those passages appear in the Bible, and one is actually anti-biblical, scholars say.

But people rarely challenge them because biblical ignorance is so pervasive that it even reaches groups of people who should know better, says Steve Bouma-Prediger, a religion professor at Hope College in Holland, Michigan.

“In my college religion classes, I sometimes quote 2 Hesitations 4:3 (‘There are no internal combustion engines in heaven’),” Bouma-Prediger says. “I wait to see if anyone realizes that there is no such book in the Bible and therefore no such verse.

“Only a few catch on.”

Few catch on because they don’t want to – people prefer knowing biblical passages that reinforce their pre-existing beliefs, a Bible professor says.

“Most people who profess a deep love of the Bible have never actually read the book,” says Rabbi Rami Shapiro, who once had to persuade a student in his Bible class at Middle Tennessee State University that the saying “this dog won’t hunt” doesn’t appear in the Book of Proverbs.

It’s true…they have memorized parts of texts that they can string together to prove the biblical basis for whatever it is they believe in, but they ignore the vast majority of the text.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as guilty.  Being raised in a pseudo-Catholic family, my rubber-stamp response to anyone who might ask of my religious proclivities is: “I’m catholic…We never really read the bible.  We just took everybody’s word for it.”

Phantom biblical passages work in mysterious ways

Ignorance isn’t the only cause for phantom Bible verses. Confusion is another.

Some of the most popular faux verses are pithy paraphrases of biblical concepts or bits of folk wisdom.

Consider these two:

“God works in mysterious ways.”  (I usually say it thus: “The Lord works in mysterious, inefficient, and, breath-takingly cruel ways.”)

“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”  (So by that logic, I could say: “Can’t find a napkin?  Use a tortilla.”)

Both sound as if they are taken from the Bible, but they’re not. The first is a paraphrase of a 19th century hymn by the English poet William Cowper who said: “God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform.”

The “cleanliness” passage was coined by John Wesley, the 18th century evangelist who founded Methodism.

No matter if John Wesley or someone else came up with a wise saying – if it sounds proverbish, people figure it must come from the Bible.

Our fondness for the short and tweet-worthy may also explain our fondness for phantom biblical phrases. The pseudo-verses function like theological tweets: They’re pithy summarizations of biblical concepts.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” falls into that category. It’s a popular verse – and painful for many kids. Could some enterprising kid avoid the rod by pointing out to his mother that it’s not in the Bible?

It’s doubtful. Her possible retort: The popular saying is a distillation of Proverbs 13:24: “The one who withholds [or spares] the rod is one who hates his son.”

Another saying that sounds Bible-worthy: “Pride goes before a fall.” But its approximation, Proverbs 16:18, is actually written: “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

There are some phantom biblical verses for which no excuse can be offered. The speaker goofed.

They Started It!!!!

When phantom Bible passages turn dangerous

People may get verses wrong, but they also mangle plenty of well-known biblical stories as well.

Two examples: The scripture never says a whale swallowed Jonah, the Old Testament prophet, nor did any New Testament passages say that three wise men visited baby Jesus, scholars say.

Those details may seem minor, but scholars say one popular phantom Bible story stands above the rest: The Genesis story about the fall of humanity.

Most people know the popular version – Satan in the guise of a serpent tempts Eve to pick the forbidden apple from the Tree of Life. It’s been downhill ever since.

But the story in the book of Genesis never places Satan in the Garden of Eden.

Genesis mentions nothing but a serpent.  Not only does the text not mention Satan, the very idea of Satan as a devilish tempter postdates the composition of the Garden of Eden story by at least 500 years.

Getting biblical scriptures and stories wrong may not seem significant, but it can become dangerous.

Most people have heard this one: “God helps those that help themselves.” It’s another phantom scripture that appears nowhere in the Bible, but many people think it does. It’s actually attributed to Benjamin Franklin, one of the nation’s founding fathers.

The passage is popular in part because it is a reflection of cherished American values: individual liberty and self-reliance.

Yet that passage contradicts the biblical definition of goodness: defining one’s worth by what one does for others, like the poor and the outcast.

Citing a scripture from Leviticus that tells people that when they harvest the land, they should leave some “for the poor and the alien” (Leviticus 19:9-10), and another passage from Deuteronomy that declares that people should not be “tight-fisted toward your needy neighbor.”

We often infect the Bible with our own values and morals, not asking what the Bible’s values and morals really are.

Where do these phantom passages come from?

It’s easy to blame the spread of phantom biblical passages on pervasive biblical illiteracy. But the causes are varied and go back centuries.

Some of the guilty parties are anonymous, lost to history. They are artists and storytellers who over the years embellished biblical stories and passages with their own twists.

If, say, you were an anonymous artist painting the Garden of Eden during the Renaissance, why not portray the serpent as the devil to give some punch to your creation? And if you’re a preacher telling a story about Jonah, doesn’t it just sound better to say that Jonah was swallowed by a whale, not a “great fish”?

Others blame the spread of phantom Bible passages on King James, or more specifically the declining popularity of the King James translation of the Bible.

That translation, which marks 400 years of existence this year, had a near monopoly on the Bible market as recently as 50 years ago.  If you quoted the Bible and got it wrong then, people were more likely to notice because there was only one text.  Today, so many different translations are used that almost no one can tell for sure if something supposedly from the Bible is being quoted accurately or not.

Others blame the spread of phantom biblical verses on Martin Luther, the German monk who ignited the Protestant Reformation, the massive “protest” against the excesses of the Roman Catholic Church that led to the formation of Protestant church denominations.

It is a great Protestant tradition for anyone – milkmaid, cobbler, or innkeeper – to be able to pick up the Bible and read for herself. No need for a highly trained scholar or cleric to walk a lay person through the text.  But often the milkmaid, the cobbler – and the NFL coach – start creating biblical passages without the guidance of biblical experts.

You can see this manifest today in living room Bible studies across North America where lovely Christian people, with no training whatsoever, drink decaf, eat brownies and ask each other, ‘What does this text mean to you?’’

Not only do they get the interpretation wrong, but very often end up quoting verses that really aren’t there.

Posted in Common Sense, Religion | Leave a Comment »

Doesn’t GOD Have A Calendar?

Posted by Daniel on May 24, 2011

Third Time's A Charm...Right Lord?

Okay, so there’s this California preacher who foretold of the world’s end only to see the appointed day pass with no extraordinarily cataclysmic event.  So now he has revised his apocalyptic prophecy, saying he was off by five months and the Earth actually will be obliterated on Oct. 21.  Great, I just unpacked and now I have to repack in five months??  I have to say that my better half and I were quite disappointed because we’ve been looking so forward to a nice trip and then bam…nothing.  So we just did the next best thing to ascending to Heaven…we went shopping at Riverpark.

Harold Camping, the John Smith wanna-be who predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday before catastrophe struck the planet, apologized for not having the dates “worked out as accurately as I could have.”  All that money and he can’t afford the calendar app for his isaiahPhone?

He spoke to the media at the Oakland headquarters of his Family Radio International, which spent millions of dollars – some of it from donations made by followers – on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the Judgment Day message.

It was not the first time Camping was forced to explain when his prediction didn’t come to pass. The 89-year-old retired civil engineer also prophesied that the Apocalypse would come in 1994, but said later that didn’t happen then because of yet another mathematical error.

Through chatting with a friend over what he acknowledged was a very difficult weekend, it dawned on him that instead of the biblical Rapture in which the faithful would be swept up to the heavens, May 21 had instead been a “spiritual” Judgment Day, which places the entire world under Christ’s judgment, he said…as if we weren’t under a big enough magnifying glass held by Washington.

The globe will be completely destroyed in five months, he said, when the apocalypse comes. But because God’s judgment and salvation were completed on Saturday, there’s no point in continuing to warn people about it, so his network will now just play uplifting Christian music and Veggie-Tales programs until the final end on Oct. 21.  

Ooops...False Alarm...Everyone Go Back To Your Lives And We'll Catch You In October!!!

“We’ve always said May 21 was the day, but we didn’t understand altogether the spiritual meaning,” he said. “The fact is there is only one kind of people who will ascend into heaven … if God has saved them they’re going to be caught up.”  I’m assuming it’s those with better timing and a more accurate calendar.

Josh Ocasion, who works the teleprompter during Camping’s live broadcasts in the group’s threadbare studio sandwiched between an auto shop and a palm reader’s business, said he enjoyed the production work but never fully believed the May 21 prophecy would come true.

“I thought he would show some more human decency in admitting he made a mistake,” he said Monday. “We didn’t really see that.”

Follower Jeff Hopkins said he spent a good deal of his own retirement savings on gas money to power his car so people would see its ominous lighted sign showcasing Camping’s May 21 warning. As the appointed day drew nearer, Hopkins started making the 100-mile round trip from Long Island to New York City twice a day, spending at least $15 on gas each trip.

“I’ve been mocked and scoffed and cursed at and I’ve been through a lot with this lighted sign on top of my car,” said Hopkins, 52, a former television producer who lives in Great River, NY. “I was doing what I’ve been instructed to do through the Bible, but now I’ve been stymied. It’s like getting slapped in the face.”

Camping’s hands shook slightly as he pinned his microphone to his lapel, and as he clutched a worn Bible he spoke in a quivery monotone about some listeners’ earthly concerns after giving away possessions in expectation of the Rapture.

Family Radio would never tell anyone what they should do with their belongings, and those who had fewer would cope, Camping said.

“We’re not in the business of financial advice,” he said. “We’re in the business of telling people there’s someone who you can maybe talk to, maybe pray to, and that’s God.”  Asked whether God had given solid confirmation to the date of Rapture and also the mathematical formula with which he kept coming up with these dates, Camping looked at his Rolex watch and then patted his tattered Bible.

Then he said that he wouldn’t give away any of his possessions ahead of Oct 21.

“I still have to live in a house, I still have to drive a car,” he said. “What would be the value of that? If it is Judgment Day why would I give it away?”

Posted in Bad Advice Meant Well, Religion, WTF??? | Leave a Comment »

Societies Incurable Cancer

Posted by Seth on June 8, 2009

My family is very conservative and religious. Coming from a small town in West Virginia, this is the norm. One thing that is not normal is being gay. In our “progressive” society, we are taught that gays are sinners, pedophiles, deviants, and a disgusting life form that the world should be rid of. Only if it was known how many closet cases there are you see at family gatherings, the super market, and at church. Are they not considered “sinners” because they’re not out on display for people to ridicule? No. Why? Because they’re the ones hiding behind their finger pointing.

Just because you don’t understand what it’s like to be something you’re not, does not give you the right to belittle, lie, spread rumors, and OH YEAH…JUDGE! How Christian is that to cast your judgment on others while claiming to be pure and perfect. John 8:7 He who is without sin cast the first stone!  But wait…that part of the Bible we’ll just forget exists. Why? Because it impedes our gossip time. Doesn’t God speak against gossip? Oh yeah….Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy. Psalms 101:5

I have been told I “pick and choose what I want to believe” the Bible. Honestly, yes I do. Everyone does! How can you not? There are so many contradictions and implications in the Bible, it is impossible to follow it word by word. Conservatives and the religious claim they don’t, but they do! We have NUTS in this world that say “God hates fags!” or “AIDS is a gift from God!” Both are lies and cries of fear instilled in people by our politicians and evangelicals that “accept donations”. It’s not gays and lesbians that are making this country fail, it’s ignorance from people like Fred Phelps that preach hate. Look at Al Qaeda! How long is it going to take before conservative extremists start suicide missions into AIDS clinics and gay owned businesses? Oh wait…it’s already happening!

Why?! How did America go from “…Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” to “God Hates Fags!”

Homosexuality is NOT a choice! Who would choose to risk the love of their family, their reputation, friends, taking a chance on being beaten to death in the woods, or raped in a school lockerroom, risk their faith for fear that what they were raised to believe is wrong is “infecting” you. Why would someone choose to go through discrimination? It’s like saying “Hey! Wouldn’t it be fun to go back in time and be a slave working in fields being beaten by a whip?” No! That’s just as ignorant as “choosing” to be gay. I’ve been asked before, “How do you know you’re gay?” All I can say is, “How do you know you’re straight?” You don’t and neither do I. It’s not something that can be explained. Why should I have to explain it. I’m not a threat to anyone. I’m not out to “ruin” a family or “take their morals”. I don’t threaten your marriage, divorce threatens your marriage. The divorce rate is now at a staggering 50%! What is the #1 cause? Finances! Not gays!

Another “defense” from anti-gay groups is Sodom and Gomorrah. Don’t throw that in my face. God destroyed the cities because they wanted to gay rape two angels? I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure the cities were destroyed because…“Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.” Ezekiel 16:48-50. Though I do NOT believe the cities were destroyed because of gays, I do believe there was fire and brimstone falling from the sky. I found it very fascinating when I watched the History Channel, yes I am nerdy, and they were running a documentary on the destruction of the cities. It was not so much a story in the Bible to teach people a lesson, but it was a pretty accurate recording of a geological event. I know it’s very hard for some people to connect the Bible to science, but it is possible. The documentary investigates the possibility that a volcanic eruption occurred at the time this story took place. It is very insightful and fascinating! I highly recommend it!

It saddens me to know that not only my family, but so many others are not willing to move outside their comfort zones to just think! Most of them are just afraid to be proven wrong about what they were raised to believe. It’s almost funny to me. I was always taught to pray for wisdom and learn. I remember his first sermon when our church moved to a new location. He was having trouble getting some of the church members to follow him to the new building. I’m can’t remember exactly why, but I believe it was simply because of the name on the sign outside. Anyway, he got most, if not all, the members to come to the first Sunday service. I remember his first sermons title was “Moving Outside Your Comfort Zone”. I don’t remember what he said in his sermon, but I love the title. I can almost say I kind of live by it. My thoughts are, how am I supposed to grow as a person or a Christian if I don’t have the willingness to learn or see someones point of view. I have to see other peoples points of view. It keeps me humble.

This is just something I’ve been dealing with for a while. I don’t understand how we are all supposed to grow as a race if we live by the instructions of people 2000 years ago. Gays didn’t threaten cultures back then and they don’t now. I just want to ask everyone how do gays and lesbians threaten your religion or your life? Gays aren’t going to convert you or steal your religion. No one can make you do something you don’t want to do. We’re not going to make you go gay and you’re not going to make us go straight. So many people are afraid gays are going to take God and morals away from them. Well, all I can say to that is I’m a gay Christian and you can’t take that from me.

Posted in Because You Count, Common Sense, Family, Friends, GLBT, Life, Op-Ed, Our Writings, Politics, Religion, Today's Rant | 2 Comments »

Our Right – Our Fight – Our Support

Posted by Daniel on June 2, 2009

Fresno Rally - 05/30/2009
Say what you will about the GLBT community…we are nothing if not bound (some literally) and determined to get our fair share of the Apple Pie.

And we have decided to throw all of our support behind those who continue to battle the narrow-minded religious right.

I refer to the issue of Marriage and the fact that the GLBT community is STILL banned from this CIVIL RIGHT here in California.

And stop griping at me about how marriage is all about the religious ceremony.

Buuuulllll Shit!!!

It’s also about all of those nifty little FEDERAL/STATE benefits you  are automatically granted as soon as a marriage certificate is filed or issued.  Again, the church does not give those benefits, the State and Federal government does.  And we want those same rights.

You can argue all you want about the sanctity of marriage (in a church), but we are tired of arguing about the civil side of it.  As a matter of fact, we won’t be asking any more for our civil rights to be granted.  Instead, we are demanding the same rights you take for granted every day.

And please stop telling us that gays would make a mockery of marriage.  You seem to have no problem with Britney Spears getting married to some fool in Vegas, only to file for an annulment just hours later (after they’d sobered up).  And what about those lame TV shows “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette”.  Where are your minions with their picket signs for these travesties?  I never hear you people bitching about the sanctity of marriage when it comes to the STAGGERING divorce rate, either.

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This past weekend, a rally was held right here in Fresno, CA called “Meet In The Middle” that drew thousands of people from across California as well as from many places around the country.  It was held downtown in front of City Hall on one very hot day.

There was first a 14.5 mile protest walk that started in Selma, CA and ended five hours later in downtown Fresno.  Seth and I arrived downtown and took part in a rally that showed us this fight for our EQUAL civil rights is FAR from over.  I have not seen so many good people fired up over civil rights since the 60’s/70’s.  true, I was still a very young kid back then, but I remember much about those times.

Here are some of the images from this past Saturday…

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Posted in Common Sense, GLBT, Life, Media Matters, News, Op-Ed, Our Writings, Politics, Religion | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

No On H8…Unless…

Posted by Daniel on May 27, 2009

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1. Being gay is not “natural”. Real Americans always reject un-natural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.


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2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be “gay”; in the same way hanging around tall people will make you tall.

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3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of “crazy” behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

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4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

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5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour “just for fun” marriage would be destroyed.

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6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

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7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

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8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

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9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

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10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, and longer life spans.

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Posted in Common Sense, GLBT, Life, Media Matters, Our Writings, Politics, Religion, Today's Rant | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Today’s Sermon

Posted by Daniel on May 2, 2009

Is My Little Baby Going to Go Gay?

A parent can never act too soon in taking precautionary measures to ensure that their child will never become intoxicated with mommy’s perfume and choose to devote his life to being a prancing homo. By being both proactive and willing to inflict welts for Jesus, you can beat Satan at his own sick game and prevent him from turning your impressionable child into an ugly, rotting twig in the family tree crying out for brutal pruning.

Christian Doctors at the Hospital’s Homersexual Reparative Extreme-Psycho-Stabilization Ward have put together a handy list of preventative tips for concerned parents with newborns or toddlers. Please print out these Godly reminders and pop them in your purse the moment your water breaks for handy reference.

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1. A boy must not sit on a toilet unless he is having a bowel movement. Standing straight up, not hunched over while urinating, is a sign of manliness. Squatting on a toilet seat (especially if he hovers to avoid the urine of others or prissily wipes the seat with a square of toilet tissue) to pee is not only effeminate but a sign of shame! It is a secret hobby that homosexuals use in their daily lives. It is a scientific fact that when needing to use the restroom, a male is called upon to engage in the unpleasant undertaking of extruding a poopy in only 1 out of every 3 visits. But homosexuals use all three visits to practice squatting, to limber the cheeks of their bottom in preparation for even the most enormous “things”.  Such calisthenics are neither necessary nor advisable for men who have no intention of squatting over anything engorged. As soon as your child is able to walk on two feet, you must make sure he is taught to stand proudly in front of a private or public toilet seat, and to speak not a word, especially in response to the coy whispers of Catholic priests in the next stall.

2. A boy must eat everything on his plate. But if your son pesters you to serve corn on the cob, hot dogs or sausages, that is your signal to change his diet. Try serving meals that more effectively evoke a hankering for the fragrant delights of the female genitalia. An artichoke stuffed with tuna fish will usually do the trick.

3. A boy must always wear socks, except while swimming. So-called, “flip-flops” and “sandals,” where the toes and ankles are exposed are products that were created during the (homo)sexual revolution. Creation research indicates that these types of provocative “shoes,” were invented by homosexuals in San Fransissyco during the late 1960’s with fetishes for little boy ankles. Thwart the perverted delight of these pedo-pedophiles with a thick pair of tube socks!

4. A boy must not be allowed to watch cartoons of any kind. He should spend Saturday mornings sitting quietly by his Father’s side (with a respectful 3″ between the male bodies), watching sports that don’t involved male leotards. He must watch Football, Basketball, Baseball and Boxing. Soccer is not a sport for civilized people and often results in alarmingly long, uncut penises escaping from very alluring satin shorts. Soccer appeals only to poor, uneducated halflings from underdeveloped countries where the women grow mustaches twice as fast as the men. Make your child aware of this. When there are no sports on TV, take your boy out in the backyard and throw the football or play catch with a very hard baseball. Under no circumstances: wrestle in shorts, especially if your son is strapping, handsome and sporting a noticeably turgid crotch.

5. A boy must not play with dolls. If your boy has a young sister, forbid him from entering her room except for the purposes of the type of ordinary heterosexual experimentation that occurs in any Christian household. If you catch your male child playing with dolls, our crack(addicted) Child Psychologists recommend that you shave his head, and sit him out at the end of the driveway with a sign around his neck that says, “I’m a Sissy Boy Who Plays With Dolls – Mailman: Why don’t you just go ahead and stick something in my mouth?.” This method of prevention has a 99.5% success rate (unless your particular mailman is young and attractive).

6. A boy must not refer to his parents as “Mommy” or “Daddy.” As soon as your boy is old enough to speak, he must be taught to call his Mother, “Ma,” or “Momma” or “Mommie Dearest.” When addressing his Father, he should refer to him as, “Sir,” “Dad,” or “Commander.” “Mommy” and “Daddy” are what fey, spoiled boys weaned on effeminacy coo, embarrassing you in front of the neighbors by never keeping the palms of their hands below their waists.

7. A boy must always wear thick, white underwear. White boxers, and/or briefs are acceptable. Your child must be taught that men who wear colored underwear or undergarments that are cut within one inch of the outer periphery of their pubic region or the trough of the valley between the cheeks of their bottom are either European or Homersexual – and in America there is no difference between the two.

8. A boy must never cry or pout. Crying, pouting or showing feelings are weak and feminine traits. After the natural tears of infancy, brought on by a child’s traumatic exit from the spiritual realm of Heaven, to the horrible shock every young man experiences in seeing his very own mother’s hairy, dilated vagina, and into this Devil run world we call, “Earth,” your boy must be taught to stop crying. It usually takes a normal child several weeks to get over its birth – even when using daily submersions into ice-water.If your child is still crying after three weeks, please drop him off at the Creation Science Laboratory for the remainder of the year and for a determination of whether he is worth having back.

9. A boy must not use brightly colored crayons or any crayons from any colors of a rainbow. Christian parents should remove and destroy any suspiciously colored crayons from their boy’s box of Crayolas. This needs no explanation, as we here at Creation Explanation Church are all familiar with Mr. Crayola’s so-called “alternate lifestyle,” and his reason for putting “Pansy Pink” and “Engorged Penis Head Purple” into his boxes are quite obvious. A boy must also draw in straight lines. Some curves are fine, but if you suspect your child of “doodling,” and see that he is using more curves than straight lines, please call your Pastor immediately.

10. A boy must not skip or prance. You must not allow your boy to attend any school where they teach the children to “skip,” or play “hopscotch” in Physical Education class. Creation Scientists have proved that such activities are the precursor to cross-dressing, appreciation for poetry, a sardonic display of irony and the rampant shoplifting of skin care products.

Posted in Bad Advice Meant Well, GLBT, Just For Fun, Religion | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

The Lovers of Hate Crimes

Posted by Daniel on April 30, 2009

As the House of Representatives debated an expansion of hate crimes legislation, Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.) took the rhetoric to a new level, claiming that those who say Matthew Shepard was murdered in Wyoming for being gay are perpetrating a “hoax” on the American people.

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By the way…is it just me or does this broad look an awful lot like the self-hating homo on Will & Grace…Beverly Leslie???
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Just a thought…

“I also would like to point out that there was a bill — the hate crimes bill that’s called the Matthew Shepard bill is named after a very unfortunate incident that happened where a young man was killed, but we know that that young man was killed in the commitment of a robbery. It wasn’t because he was gay. This — the bill was named for him, hate crimes bill was named for him, but it’s really a hoax that that continues to be used as an excuse for passing these bills,” said Foxx.

A Foxx spokesman didn’t immediately return any calls from the media. The Matthew Shepard “hoax” notion is a popular meme on right-wing blogs.

The Matthew Shepard Foundation is dedicated to reducing hate crimes.

The New York Times reported in 1998: “According to the local police and prosecutors, the two men lured Mr. Shepard out of a bar by saying they were gay. Then, the Laramie police say, the pair kidnapped Mr. Shepard, pistol-whipped him with a .357 Magnum, and left him tied to a ranch fence for 18 hours until a passing bicyclist spotted Mr. Shepard, who was unconscious.”

“She should be ashamed,” said Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), himself a victim of a hate crime during the struggle for civil rights. “That is unreal, unbelievable. The law enforcement people and almost every reasonable person I know believes he was murdered because he was gay.”

UPDATE: Matthew Shepard’s mother was in the gallery when Foxx aired her theory.

“Matthew Shepard’s mother was in the gallery yesterday and I believe she was back today — so I’m sorry she had to be around to hear it,” Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Tenn.) said. “It’s an urban myth… And I’d tell her that man did land on the moon and the moon wasn’t made out of green cheese.”

We have uploaded the video of Foxx’s statement. WATCH:

Another example of the twisted lies and homophobia in this blessed land of ours is the following.  A prime example of a phobia as well as pandering.

Congressman-CW-Bill-Yung

A friend of mine wrote to C.W. Bill Young regarding a pending federal hate crimes bill (H.R.  1913 AKA The Mathew Shephard Act) that would expand the 1969 federal hate-crime law to include crimes motivated by the victim’s actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability. I’ve posted the Congressman’s response in its entirety after the jump. I found it offensive both intellectually and morally.

Another pandering lying homophobe.

Another pandering lying homophobe.

Congressman Young explains that he does not support the Mathew Shepard Act because under such  a law “criminals who kill a homosexual, transvestite or transsexual could be punished more harshly than criminals who kill a police officer, a member of the military or any other person.” “I fundamentally believe, ” he continues, ”that we should instead value all life equally.”

While the Congressman purports to be making an Equal Protection argument, his juxtaposition of “homosexual, transvestite or transsexual” with “police officer, a member of the military or any other person” belies the real logic at work here. This is an appeal to homphobia, plain and simple. Dressing it up in a tenuous Constitutional argument doesn’t make it any more acceptable.

If you’d like to contact Congressman Young and give him a few valid reasons to support or not support it, you can reach him at (202) 225-5961.

Posted in Common Sense, GLBT, Media Matters, News, Op-Ed, Our Writings, Politics, Religion, Today's Rant | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Intelligent Design Creates OxyMorons

Posted by Daniel on March 26, 2009

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Here we go again.  In the never-ending battle of “Which Came First…The Chicken or the Easter Egg?”, states like Kansas and Texas are back to preaching and teaching the THEORY of so-called “Intelligent Design”.

The Texas Board of Education this week will vote on science standards that critics say seek to cast doubt on the theory of evolution.

“This specific attack on well-established science ignores mountains of evidence and years of research done by experts in a variety of fields,” said Steven Newton, project director at the Oakland California-based National Center for Science Education, a proponent of evolution.

One amendment, critics say, undermines the idea that life on Earth derives from a common ancestry, a major principle in the theory of evolution. It calls for the analysis and evaluation of “the sufficiency or insufficiency” of the common ancestry idea to explain the fossil record.

Newton said the board is considering other amendments casting doubt on well-established ideas in the earth and space sciences — plate tectonics, radioactive decay and how the solar system developed.

I find this troubling.  they teach their kids to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Immaculate Conception, all based on stories.  But when offered actual physical/material proof about this planet and space, they scoff and call it heresy and makes them poop in their pews.

School board chairman Don McLeroy has wanted to tackle questions that highlight supposed weaknesses in the theory of evolution.

For example, skeptics of evolution point to what they contend are fossil record gaps casting doubt on the scientific evidence of common ancestry.

“I’m a skeptic. I’m an evolution skeptic. I don’t think it’s true,” he said. “You need to present other ideas to the kids.”

So, because you have this table full of bones that have been PROVEN to be dated over 60+ million years old, and you see a gap between two of them, that means the rest of what you see doesn’t exist.  Meanwhile, you can lay NO PHYSICAL OR MATERIAL PROOF on any table in the magic that you believe in…and we are the idiots??

The issue reflects the strong feelings among representatives on the 15-member board, some of whom accept evolutionary theory and some of whom don’t. The size of the textbook market in Texas gives it influence nationwide, as publishers adapt their material to its standards.

The board in January voted to remove language that called on science teachers to focus on the “strengths and weaknesses” in all scientific theories.

It was replaced by language urging students to use “empirical evidence, logical reasoning, and experimental and observational testing” to “analyze and evaluate scientific explanations.”

More amendments are expected to be brought up in the three-day hearing.

A little history:

Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution proposes that humans evolved over millions of years from animal species — including, most famously, early primates that also are the ancestors of modern-day apes. Such thinking, which challenged religious accounts of a deity creating humans, was considered radical, even blasphemous, when Darwin published it in 1859.

Central to Darwin’s thesis was his scientific explanation of life’s diversity: that natural selection is enough to explain the evolution of all species.

The scientific community has overwhelmingly scorned creationism – mostly for it’s lack of tangible proof  – and its latest incarnation, intelligent design, as a pretext for biblical explanations of how the world came to be, and asserts that there is no weakness or doubt in the scientific community about evolution.

Last year, the National Academy of Sciences called for the public to be better informed about the importance of understanding and teaching evolution. The academy released a booklet titled “Science, Evolution, and Creationism” — the third explanation of evolution put out since 1984 by one of the nation’s leading scientific organizations.

However, those who take issue with evolution believe it should be treated with healthy skepticism.

The San Antonio Express-news quotes Casey Luskin, a policy analyst with the Discovery Institute, a group that questions the theory of evolution:

“This debate will impact whether students are taught to think critically and scientifically when you learn about evolution. It’s important for students to learn how to think like scientists and not be forced to treat these controversial topics like a dogma,” he is quoted as saying.

“Dogma”?  You believe in virgin birth and angels and a mythical man sitting on a puffy cloud yanking our strings like a marionette master.  So who’s “Dogma” is more or less believable?

Proponents of evolution say the dogma is on the other side, with the Discovery Institute and others purposely distorting and ignoring scientific evidence to reach their desired conclusion.

For decades, the teaching of evolution in public schools has been a flashpoint in some states, with proponents of ideas such as creationism and intelligent design trying to gain a place in science classes.

The issue has been before school officials, legislators and courts in Alabama, Kansas, Kentucky, Ohio, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, and Virginia.

The controversy over the teaching of intelligent design came to a head in Pennsylvania, where the Dover School Board voted that ninth-grade students must be read a statement encouraging them to read about intelligent design. A federal judge said the board violated the Constitution in doing so because intelligent design is religious creationism in disguise and injecting it into the curriculum violates the constitutional separation of church and state.

“Academic freedom” bills have emerged but failed in various state legislatures, the National Center for Science Education said.

An “academic freedom” act has been adopted as law in Louisiana, and there is legislation in Florida calling for an “academic freedom” bill that would mandate a “thorough presentation and critical analysis of the scientific theory of evolution.”

The center says such bills are strategies by creationists to appeal to the American sense of balance, and give the false sense that there are different sides to scientific issues such as evolution.

Of course, these are the same people who watch the Flintstones cartoon as if it were a documentary.

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